The Ultimate Glow-Up Guide for Straight Men

[Seeking follows for the column novel, The Straight-A Laced Office Worker Gets Kept by an Ice-Cold CEO]

Shen Zhinan transmigrated into an ABO world, becoming a lovesick omega.

He discovered that this world was one giant gay harbor, and he was surrounded by gay men.

Shen Zhinan climbed Mount Kongtong in the middle of the night, determined to shut his heart to love and focus on making money.

The problem was, he worked too hard, taking jobs everywhere. Then, in an accident, someone set him up and sent him to a big shot's bed.

To defend his dignity as a straight man, Shen Zhinan smashed the big shot over the head with an ashtray, leaving him bleeding profusely, then ran for his life.

-

After Fu Yanshi's welcome-home banquet, he returned to the hotel to rest. A brazen omega knocked him unconscious with an ashtray, earning him an all-inclusive hospital stay.

One day, he spotted that omega at his cousin's birthday party.

The omega seemed to sense Fu Yanshi's gaze. He looked over, then his eyes suddenly widened.

Fu Yanshi sneered. "Found you."

-

Later, Fu Yanshi discovered that the omega was the very annoying lovesick guy his cousin had told him about.

His cousin asked Fu Yanshi for advice about his love life. "Bro, I think that guy is kind of cute..."

Fu Yanshi carefully analyzed things. "You two aren't right for each other. I'll introduce you to a better omega."

His cousin sensed something was off and continued, "I think I might have fallen for him."

Fu Yanshi immediately talked him down. "Cousin, take your older cousin's advice. You two really aren't right for each other. Would I ever lead you astray?"

While his cousin was still hesitating, one day he was invited to Fu Yanshi's home. As soon as he walked in, he saw the omega sitting on Fu Yanshi's lap in an oversized white shirt, the two of them kissing.

Fu Yanshi didn't even blush. "Come on, let me introduce you. This is your sister-in-law."

-

As the saying goes, once a straight man, always a straight man.

Later, while kissing Fu Yanshi, Shen Zhinan thought: It's just a kiss. I'm still straight.

While having sex with Fu Yanshi, Shen Zhinan thought: It's just sleeping together. I'm still straight.

When he got pregnant with Fu Yanshi's child, Shen Zhinan thought: It's just a pregnancy. I'm still...!

Wait a minute! How can I be pregnant!?

Note:

1. The setting is fictional, with lots of authorial liberties. Please don't overthink it.

2. Both are virgins, HE. Both the top and bottom are a little eccentric. There is a side couple, but they don't end up together and don't get much page time.

3. The early chapters are mostly silly, while the later ones get melodramatic. Overall, it may be pretty melodramatic, so don't expect a sweet romance. This isn't pure fluff; it's more of a bonkers story.

4. The author is a country bumpkin who loves cheesy tropes. I very strongly recommend buying one chapter at a time, so you can cut your losses if it doesn't suit you. (Bows.)

5. There are no children in the main story, but there are in the extras.

Please check out my upcoming novel, The Straight-A Laced Office Worker Gets Kept by an Ice-Cold CEO. Here's the blurb:

Li Qing has been working in the city for five years. He has scrimped and saved a little nest egg for marriage, and just as he's thinking of finding a wife, a man takes him from behind.

When Li Qing wakes up, he wants to fight the man to the death. The man is the legendary domineering CEO, and he doesn't take advantage of Li Qing for free: he gives him a check, using the power of money to shut him up.

Li Qing takes the check and quits his job that very day. He uses the money to buy a house, hoping it will make him more desirable in the marriage market.

But luck is against him: he buys an unfinished apartment and his money gets tied up. After crying all night, Li Qing goes back to looking for work.

At his job interview, he sees that man: Check Guy!

-

Guan Mingyan was drugged and set up, and ended up sleeping with a man. Afterwards, he gave the man some money and sent him on his way.

Later, Guan Mingyan had some regrets. The man had been pretty good in bed, and they were quite compatible, but what was done was done.

A month later, Guan Mingyan ran into the man again. The man had actually applied for a job at his company.

"You spent two million in a month?" Guan Mingyan couldn't help asking.

Li Qing: "Ticket Bro, don't even bring it up! It makes me sick! I bought an unfinished apartment!"

Guan Mingyan: "Ticket Bro?"

Li Qing: "."

Guan Mingyan: "Stay with me for six months, and I'll give you a house."

Li Qing: "...That doesn't seem right."

He's really not gay!

Guan Mingyan: "Then I'll add another two million."

Li Qing: "That sounds amazing!"

-

Six months passed quickly. Li Qing now had a house and money, and was indeed quite popular in the marriage market.

Just as he was congratulating himself, he noticed his belly getting bigger and bigger. At first, he thought he'd been eating too much. Then he looked it up on Baidu and thought he had a tumor. But the doctor said, "Stop believing everything you read on Baidu. You don't have a tumor. You're just pregnant."

Li Qing patted his chest. "Oh, good. It's not a tumor. So I'm preg... I'm pregnant!?"

Doctor, are you sure you're not talking nonsense!?

I'm 24-karat pure straight!!!

Theme: Make the best of whatever comes your way.