The Good Squirrel Song: Inspired by the viral song The Bad Cat Song.
The squirrel wrecked the company system so employees didn't have to clock in anymore.
The squirrel dismantled the parking lot barrier so passersby could park for free.
The squirrel tried to massage the boss's back into place and accidentally took his whole head off.
The squirrel blew up the company conference hall and gave all the wage slaves a long vacation.
Good squirrel, good squirrel, one bottle of Songzai milk is enough to fill you up!
Good squirrel, good squirrel, finds the caretaker a new job!
Good squirrel, good squirrel, tightens screws to help with the bills!
Good squirrel, good squirrel, finally becomes head of the household!
An outwardly ambitious workaholic womanizer with nothing but spite for the world behind closed doors X A neurotic, dark-skinned, genetically modified man who needs to learn how to function in society
Beautiful top, handsome bottom. One-on-one romance, happy ending, first love for both, devoted to each other.
[Dystopia + unconventional road trip + mutual salvation]
An alternate modern setting, with plenty of dark humor. Please don't apply this to real life!
The squirrel in the song above = the terrorist below = the bottom = Song Shuqiao. It's a pun on his name, and he has a degree of cognitive impairment.
For the top, life goes like this: The squirrel beats him up again and again, somehow making his meat tender and springy!
.
Wei Ci lost his job.
He grew up in the slums and started out as a company lackey, determined to rise above the rest.
Sleeping just two hours a day, he worked so hard that his coworkers were afraid to blink in the restroom, and his boss needed heart pills with his cigars.
After decades of taking on every miserable task without complaint, he finally outlasted his direct supervisor just before his thirty-third birthday and earned a promotion and a raise.
Before he could even enjoy life at the top, the company suffered a terrorist attack.
The terrorist pointed at the Songzai milk in the warehouse. “Where did this come from?”
Wei Ci: “I did it.”
With just one little slip, he cracked the mystery of how the champagne at the annual party had been replaced with Songzai milk, making the lactose-intolerant boss run to the bathroom ten times after one sip!
Coworker: “I knew you were stealing from the company for yourself! I'm reporting you, ”
The terrorist struck in a flash!
Wei Ci's Hammer ID changed to: Boss and coworkers in heaven.
.
The terrorist blew up the company and forced Wei Ci to come along and produce milk.
Thirty-three years of hard work, and he was right back where he started.
Luckily, Wei Ci had a good attitude. He hated every job he did, so even as a driver he could moonlight as a nanny, mechanic, preschool teacher, tutor, and convenience-store clerk...
The convenience-store owner saw him working eighteen jobs a day and spending every cent of his wages on milk for the terrorist, and warned him, “It's not good to spoil a kid too much.”
The terrorist: “So what? Are you going to beat me to death?”
They scraped by in the rowdy, overcrowded Lower City.
People would tell the terrorist, “You freeloading bum!”
Back home, the terrorist asked Wei Ci, “What's freeloading? Does it taste good?”
Wei Ci felt his teeth and said, “Not bad. You have a good bite.”
So the next day, the terrorist got a job tightening screws at a factory.
Wei Ci patted him on the shoulder. “I'm an expert at working myself to the bone. I'll teach you.”
In less than a month, the terrorist tightened screws so fast that he worked his way into replacing the entire factory workforce.
Wei Ci: “Our class traitor really does have a bright future.”
.
To avoid being torn limb from limb by the laid-off workers, Wei Ci ran off with the terrorist in the middle of the night!
The terrorist: “Actually, I did it for this.”
He took out a nut, the trophy from the factory's first screw-tightening championship, and slipped it onto Wei Ci's ring finger.
The terrorist: “I'll steal screws to support you.”
Wei Ci: “I'll have to pass.”
And so, wandering from place to place, they finally found a home.
Blurb posted on 2024.11.18 at 8:50 p.m., updated on 2025.1.13 at 9:23 p.m. (title changed). This may not be the final version of the blurb, but the jokes won't change.
Theme: As long as you don't give up, you can always carry on.
