Transmigrated into the Imperial Physician in a Tragic Romance Novel

[Complete. This revised version differs from pirated copies. I take no responsibility for any pirated editions.] My next book, Contract Lover to My Archenemy After I Transmigrated, is now underway. Visit my profile to read it! Next up: The History Fabricator Meets a Contrarian Straight Guy (9870043) Blurb: Xu Yunqing transmigrates into a trashy melodramatic show where the two male leads are forever tearing out each other’s livers one day and kidneys the next, dragging their tortured romance out for hundreds of episodes. Good news: Xu Yunqing hasn’t become either of the leads, who are constantly being pushed to their limits by all that steamy drama. Bad news: He’s become their imperial physician. “Doctor, this is terrible! The consort argued with His Majesty, slit his wrists, and fainted!” Xu Yunqing rolls up his sleeves. “I’m on my way!” “Doctor, this is terrible! His Majesty has had the consort hung on the city wall for three days and three nights, and he…” Xu Yunqing: “Holy crap, how am I supposed to treat that… I’m on my way!” “Doctor, this is terrible! The prince, disguised as an assassin, broke into the palace at night and got injured!” Xu Yunqing: “I’m on my… holy crap, why is he so handsome?!” * The prince Xu Yunqing saves, Rong Yi, was born blind. His father doesn’t care for him, and neither does his mother. He has become gloomy, twisted, and weary of life. As fellow marginal NPCs with no part to play in the show, Xu Yunqing feels that he and this guy are in the same boat. Warmhearted and generous, Xu Yunqing happily pats his new friend on the shoulder. They eat, sleep, and chat together, sharing palace gossip. Until one day, his good friend transforms into the emperor, supreme ruler of all. Not only that, he publicly declares that he will offer his empire as a bride price, devote himself to one person alone, and marry the virtuous wife who once supported him without reservation. * Truly, a love story for the ages. Xu Yunqing has no idea when his friend ever met such a woman, but now his friend has everything he could want. Perhaps he no longer remembers that he once had a good friend. Xu Yunqing packs a small bundle, decides to broaden his horizons, and heads off to practice medicine in the martial world. His first patient in the martial world wears a gauzy veil over his face. Handsome and graceful in white, he looks just as he did on the day Xu Yunqing first met Rong Yi. The patient clutches his chest. “Doctor, my heart hurts so much. Could it be because the person I love ran away before the wedding?” Xu Yunqing: Huh? Bonus scene: The newly enthroned emperor is frail and often ill. His harem has been empty for years, so he needs to summon the imperial physician often, sometimes three or four times a day, and each visit lasts several hours. “These old ministers care about nothing but the dynasty’s succession. They don’t care at all how hard the imperial physician works. Unlike me, I only know how to care for my physician…” The man’s cheeks flush faintly against his porcelain-white skin. His long lashes lower as he speaks, looking earnest and beautiful. “…and think of him every day.” He takes Xu Yunqing’s hand and presses it against his chest, his lips, and… His voice turns beguiling. “I think of you here, here, and here.” Xu Yunqing lies in bed, angrily clutching his aching lower back. At last, he hoarsely protests, “Those tonics are a waste of medical resources!” What happened to building a socialist brotherhood together? Note: Pairing: A softhearted, sunny little imperial physician who loves to crack jokes, as the bottom * a blind, tea-scented, crazy beauty of a prince as the top. (The top’s eyesight will recover when he ascends the throne.) Character cards contributed by a kind friend from Bishui. They’re especially good. Please check out my upcoming book, The History Fabricator Meets a Contrarian Straight Guy (ID 9870043). Luo Biechen, a college student who failed history and geography, transmigrates one day into a power-fantasy novel, becoming the emperor’s record keeper. On his first day at work, the future emperor, in a sudden fit of whimsy, waves a hand and says, “From now on, you needn’t report the records to me. Let future generations judge my achievements as they will.” Luo Biechen beams. “You got it!” Other officials at work: trembling in fear, keeping their entire clans on the line. Luo Biechen at work: Open his eyes, make stuff up. [On this day in this month, the emperor wished to take a concubine, but was impotent, so he gave up.] [Former emperor, your son is gay, he’s gay!] [Shocking! His Majesty has never denied his past as a hooker. The more you think about it, the more terrifying it gets!] … Luo Biechen becomes a proud history fabricator, growing happier and more outlandish with every entry. Until one day. He sees his little booklet in the hands of the power-fantasy emperor. The dignified, handsome ruler points to a line and patiently asks, “What does ‘hooker’ mean? What past have I not denied?” Luo Biechen’s legs shake. “It means you were brave and mighty in battle, and built a great imperial legacy.” Emperor Jingyao: “‘Hooker’ means someone who sells things. When I pacified the northern frontier, I beheaded the enemy chieftain. When I conquered the south, I relied on armored cavalry. Are you saying I built my great imperial legacy by hawking things in the street?” Luo Biechen: … Emperor Jingyao turns a page. “And what do these Western characters mean?” Luo Biechen answers cautiously, “They mean you’re vigorous and powerful, very awesome.” Emperor Jingyao: “That sounds good.” Luo Biechen breathes a sigh of relief. Emperor Jingyao: “But my great nation X has a mighty reputation. Why are you using foreign words?” Luo Biechen racks his brain and makes things up for a while. The emperor smiles. “I don’t believe you. I’ll find a Westerner and ask.” Luo Biechen: … Turning to the last page, Emperor Jingyao finally understands. He laughs in anger. “So this is how you write about me?” The lowly record keeper trembles and asks in an aggrieved voice, “B-but didn’t you say you wouldn’t read it?” * The history fabricator’s career ends in disaster. From then on, every day the emperor reviews what he writes, studying it closely by lamplight deep into the night. Luo Biechen can no longer let his imagination run wild. At last, one day, Luo Biechen can’t take it anymore. Supporting his sore, limp waist, he solemnly writes: [On this day in this month, the emperor indulged in pleasure, reveling night after night. This is truly unbecoming of an enlightened ruler!] Emperor Jingyao catches sight of the line, raises an eyebrow, and pulls the little historian into his arms. “I’ve labored so diligently for the sake of continuing the imperial line. It’s one thing that your belly hasn’t delivered, my dear subject, but if you keep making excuses, won’t you be delaying the realm and the dynasty?” “What crime should you be charged with, my dear subject?” Luo Biechen: … Help, stop arguing back already! Theme: Live a healthy life every day