These are letters I wrote to patients while working in healthcare in the UK. I use them to express my feelings, and will leave out any necessary personal information.
If you've found your way here, feel free to write to me and share how you're feeling, too.
From a very smart and delicate perspective, the relationship between the language system and the environment in which it is acquired, the hardships in a foreign country, and the confusion of growing up are reflected through this detail.
"You usually don't eat. Why do you have so much strength to scream in your weak, small body?" In an instant, a small body overwhelmed by pain, sorrow and many other negative emotions appeared in my mind. I always feel that there is a real powerlessness. For medical staff, after all, they cannot save everyone. Even if they try to listen and understand, they will only get a vague story with unknown origin. But after every effort, there will always be some reward and progress.
A very inspiring place, the most cruel loss is like a countdown, but when it is really lost, there is a kind of sinful relief. I don't know whether I should be glad that I couldn't resonate with this sentence all of a sudden.
Everyone who loves words has a sensitive heart, can see many sides of the world better than others, and can empathize with others better. High sensitivity is a gift, but it also brought me a lot of pain. When I was a child, I had to play different roles in front of other people to protect the real me. In my hometown of a closed and impersonal society, people who are too sensitive will be regarded as people with mental problems. When I was a child, I really despaired and thought about whether I was really a psychopath. Would it make me feel better? In the past two years, I have slowly realized what I am really like. Self-awareness is also a painful and slow process.
Teacher, I'm here again 😭 I'm going to a distant place 😭
I tried for it, but unfortunately it didn't work out. I choose to accept my fate 😭 and go to other provinces to work, study and accumulate experience. I hope to be like you and gain enough abilities before I choose my future direction.
❤️[Orange heart]💛[Green heart][Green heart][Blue heart]💜[Pink heart]
Catherine has flowers, then I will give you all the little hearts, wish Catherine and you are happy ❤️[orange heart]💛[green heart][green heart][blue heart]💜[pink heart][good luck lotus][rose][orange sugar][purple sugar][cat paw]🐰🐰
Text like clear crystal [spread flowers] [spread flowers]
Dear Sister Qiangwei, I took the career test after graduation and directly signed up for a mental hospital. Because I majored in clinical medicine, I had to rotate through various wards (except psychiatry) during my internship, and I was very reluctant to stay in the hospital. The intensity of work, the speed of rotation, and the various conditions in the hospital made me very afraid of clinical practice. When I was in school, I studied psychiatry, but it was just a casual course. I was very interested in psychiatry at that time, including my reading of reports on alcohol dependence and bipolar depression, which led me to enter a mental hospital directly after graduation. I was happy at the beginning, because I was dealing with patients with mild symptoms, and I was in an open ward. My tutor said that I was very talented, and I knew how to provide psychological counseling without a teacher when I came into contact with patients. My friends also thought so. As a result, because of the leadership transfer, I went to the intensive care unit, a place that was like hell to me. My energy has been almost completely exhausted here, and the reform of medical care has added more and more miscellaneous things to us. I feel that going to work is almost meaningless. I want to die thinking about going to work every day 😭. And I don't know if you know about our domestic training. I declare that this is the most disgusting localized thing in the world. I am currently in training, in this hospital. It's almost impossible to withdraw from the regular training. I don't have the courage to fight on my own. There are so many patients in the country, the workload of doctors is really huge, and the bureaucracy is very obvious. Our young doctors are admitted through medical examinations. In the past, many well-connected people were dragged down in various ways in the hospital and could not resist. The hospital will operate on and suppress us young doctors. The better you do, the more the hospital will let you do it. I may take the public examination and leave after the formal training is over, because the only way to leave the career contract is to take the public examination and enlist in the army. I want to die so much and now I pray that the leaders will die suddenly every day.
Wow, I think your writing is very inspiring. I am engaged in psychiatric work in China, and my patients are all seriously ill patients, such as bipolar disorder. Not long after I graduated, I was tortured by patients every day and wanted to die. After reading your super spiritual words, I even had the idea of not wanting to be a doctor. Because I feel that I usually adjust the psychiatric drug robot, and psychological counseling is not enough in our country, and I have not received much such training. It is very painful to be tortured by patients and their families during work. I think you are really a kind-hearted doctor, super powerful, and your words are also very good. And I seemed to have become a medical machine, tired to manage more than 30 patients in my hands, and had to face difficulties from time to time from their difficult family members. Maybe the domestic medical environment is not very good, especially in the psychiatric department. We earn a meager salary, but we have to bear so much responsibility for each life. As a young doctor who has been working for more than a year, I have gone from being distressed at the beginning to being numb now. This is not only caused by the patients, but also caused by the oppression of the leadership, so that I feel that my job has only become a living. This is really terrible.
Really experience the darkness, then embrace others and yourself, and then feel the most authentic tranquility at dawn, the gentleness and transparency that comes from a strong and determined heart. But how much experience does it take to become such a person? If you think about it from another perspective, I would set my life goal as "peace and serenity", and I have gone through a lot.
From a very smart and delicate perspective, the relationship between the language system and the environment in which it is acquired, the hardships in a foreign country, and the confusion of growing up are reflected through this detail.
"You usually don't eat. Why do you have so much strength to scream in your weak, small body?" In an instant, a small body overwhelmed by pain, sorrow and many other negative emotions appeared in my mind. I always feel that there is a real powerlessness. For medical staff, after all, they cannot save everyone. Even if they try to listen and understand, they will only get a vague story with unknown origin. But after every effort, there will always be some reward and progress.
A very inspiring place, the most cruel loss is like a countdown, but when it is really lost, there is a kind of sinful relief. I don't know whether I should be glad that I couldn't resonate with this sentence all of a sudden.
Everyone who loves words has a sensitive heart, can see many sides of the world better than others, and can empathize with others better. High sensitivity is a gift, but it also brought me a lot of pain. When I was a child, I had to play different roles in front of other people to protect the real me. In my hometown of a closed and impersonal society, people who are too sensitive will be regarded as people with mental problems. When I was a child, I really despaired and thought about whether I was really a psychopath. Would it make me feel better? In the past two years, I have slowly realized what I am really like. Self-awareness is also a painful and slow process.
Teacher, I'm here again 😭 I'm going to a distant place 😭 I tried for it, but unfortunately it didn't work out. I choose to accept my fate 😭 and go to other provinces to work, study and accumulate experience. I hope to be like you and gain enough abilities before I choose my future direction.
❤️[Orange heart]💛[Green heart][Green heart][Blue heart]💜[Pink heart] Catherine has flowers, then I will give you all the little hearts, wish Catherine and you are happy ❤️[orange heart]💛[green heart][green heart][blue heart]💜[pink heart][good luck lotus][rose][orange sugar][purple sugar][cat paw]🐰🐰
Text like clear crystal [spread flowers] [spread flowers]
Dear Sister Qiangwei, I took the career test after graduation and directly signed up for a mental hospital. Because I majored in clinical medicine, I had to rotate through various wards (except psychiatry) during my internship, and I was very reluctant to stay in the hospital. The intensity of work, the speed of rotation, and the various conditions in the hospital made me very afraid of clinical practice. When I was in school, I studied psychiatry, but it was just a casual course. I was very interested in psychiatry at that time, including my reading of reports on alcohol dependence and bipolar depression, which led me to enter a mental hospital directly after graduation. I was happy at the beginning, because I was dealing with patients with mild symptoms, and I was in an open ward. My tutor said that I was very talented, and I knew how to provide psychological counseling without a teacher when I came into contact with patients. My friends also thought so. As a result, because of the leadership transfer, I went to the intensive care unit, a place that was like hell to me. My energy has been almost completely exhausted here, and the reform of medical care has added more and more miscellaneous things to us. I feel that going to work is almost meaningless. I want to die thinking about going to work every day 😭. And I don't know if you know about our domestic training. I declare that this is the most disgusting localized thing in the world. I am currently in training, in this hospital. It's almost impossible to withdraw from the regular training. I don't have the courage to fight on my own. There are so many patients in the country, the workload of doctors is really huge, and the bureaucracy is very obvious. Our young doctors are admitted through medical examinations. In the past, many well-connected people were dragged down in various ways in the hospital and could not resist. The hospital will operate on and suppress us young doctors. The better you do, the more the hospital will let you do it. I may take the public examination and leave after the formal training is over, because the only way to leave the career contract is to take the public examination and enlist in the army. I want to die so much and now I pray that the leaders will die suddenly every day.
Wow, I think your writing is very inspiring. I am engaged in psychiatric work in China, and my patients are all seriously ill patients, such as bipolar disorder. Not long after I graduated, I was tortured by patients every day and wanted to die. After reading your super spiritual words, I even had the idea of not wanting to be a doctor. Because I feel that I usually adjust the psychiatric drug robot, and psychological counseling is not enough in our country, and I have not received much such training. It is very painful to be tortured by patients and their families during work. I think you are really a kind-hearted doctor, super powerful, and your words are also very good. And I seemed to have become a medical machine, tired to manage more than 30 patients in my hands, and had to face difficulties from time to time from their difficult family members. Maybe the domestic medical environment is not very good, especially in the psychiatric department. We earn a meager salary, but we have to bear so much responsibility for each life. As a young doctor who has been working for more than a year, I have gone from being distressed at the beginning to being numb now. This is not only caused by the patients, but also caused by the oppression of the leadership, so that I feel that my job has only become a living. This is really terrible.
Really experience the darkness, then embrace others and yourself, and then feel the most authentic tranquility at dawn, the gentleness and transparency that comes from a strong and determined heart. But how much experience does it take to become such a person? If you think about it from another perspective, I would set my life goal as "peace and serenity", and I have gone through a lot.