Gojo the Cat and I Took Our Pretend Romance for Real

The Kitano family had lived at Kitano Shrine for generations, taking pride in serving it. Even though the shrine was falling apart, getting fixed only to break again and then fixed once more, no one in the Kitano family had ever considered moving away.

That is, until the shrine passed into the hands of Kitano Aoi.

The ancient shrine had long since stopped receiving offerings. After a torrential downpour, lightning struck from the sky and the shrine collapsed.

Dirt poor from trying to repair the shrine, Kitano Aoi looked at the ruins and finally gave up fighting. She packed her things that very night, headed down the mountain, and went begging.

She had inherited her ancestors' skills in divination and drawing talismans to bring good fortune and ward off misfortune. There was no way she was going to starve to death.

After two days of running a stall, Kitano Aoi nearly fainted from hunger by the roadside: ...

Damn it! People in the modern world believe in science, not the occult!

Trembling, she reached out and grabbed a passing human trafficker. "Hungry, need food."

After finally getting a proper meal, Kitano Aoi cheerfully followed the human trafficker, just waiting until they arrived so she could unbox him and inherit his estate.

If only two DKs hadn't suddenly appeared.

After knocking the trafficker flying in a few moves, the white-haired DK asked the black-fringed DK, looking confused, "Why is she crying? I just saved her."

The black-fringed DK thought for a second. "Maybe she's just really moved."

Kitano Aoi, eyes welling up: You bastard, give me back my meal ticket!

Although things hadn't gone quite smoothly, at least the ending was happy for everyone.

When she learned that the school provided meals, accommodation, an allowance, and all kinds of benefits, Kitano Aoi signed up for her dream school that very night.

The white-haired guy who called himself "ore" said her cursed technique was special: it grew stronger by absorbing emotions.

Kitano Aoi: There's a good thing like that?

Emotions turned into little cookies in her hands, one bite at a time.

Teacher? Grab a handful as she passes by.

Teacher Yaga: Practicing your cursed technique does not mean demolishing the school! Write your damn apology letter!

Beauty with a beauty mark under her eye? Grab a handful as she passes by.

Shoko: Got any wake-up talismans? Give me one... Wait, I didn't ask for a three-day supply! That could kill someone!

Squinty-eyed DK? Grab a handful as she passes by.

Kitano Aoi: Suguru, wtw copied your apology letter again.

Geto, who had written the same apology letter twice N times over: ...Thanks. Do you know where he is? It's urgent.

White-haired kitty? Grab a handful... can't grab him.

Helpful citizen Shoko: That jerk DK's definitely never had anyone confess to him. Aoi, go for it!

Kitano Aoi: I like you.

wtw: Who? Who likes me? She's got excellent taste.

Kitano Aoi: ...That would never happen.

The plan failed spectacularly. Retreat!

wtw couldn't figure it out.

The classmate who had just confessed to him went on a date with someone else the next day.

What a crafty little liar. Saying she liked him was all a lie, right?

He decided he would never speak to her again.

The next day. A tuft of white hair quietly popped up beside the date spot.

He'd see for himself which nobody this idiot had fallen for!

After kicking the stingy white-haired cat off her list of people to harass (crossed out) practice on, the white-haired kitty cornered her at the dorm entrance, looking wronged and confused. "Didn't you say you liked me? Why are you avoiding me?"

Smelling the longed-for aroma, Kitano Aoi's fist veered off course and grabbed the freshly baked cake.

She gobbled up the emotions the kitty fed her in one bite.

The big kitty was a picky eater, fussy, hard to placate, and clingy... No matter how beautiful he was, he was still a destructive house cat. Taking care of him was enough to drive anyone crazy.

But there was no helping it. He gave her far too much.

1. One male lead: DK Gojo. An enthusiastic, single-minded, silly puppy X an aloof, clingy kitty. A sweet, slice-of-life story.

2. The original story's plot will change. My personal headcanons are mountainous. OOC warning.

3. The entire main cast gets food-themed character designs.

Theme: Love is the most twisted curse, and also the most eternal blessing