My Useless Husbands

[Updates around midnight, 3,000 characters daily] *Check out my upcoming novel, Falling for a Client Is the Biggest Taboo in Our Line of Work. Here’s the blurb: Without her parents’ protection, a beautiful orphan girl was bound to face all kinds of trouble. So Suzuko prayed to the gods: She wanted a husband who was both strong and gentle. * Her first husband was from the Ubuyashiki family, a wealthy household famous throughout the region. Her handsome husband had taken charge of the family’s enormous estate at a young age, making Suzuko feel safer than ever before. She loved her husband deeply. But you can’t tell what someone is really like just from appearances. In their second year of marriage, that coward killed himself out of fear of the family curse. Having failed to bear him an heir, Suzuko became the target of everyone’s scorn. Her second husband was from the Rengoku family, a healthy man with an indomitable spirit. Just when Suzuko thought nothing could keep her from happiness, her not-strong-enough husband was killed by a demon. Her third husband was from the Tsugikuni family, a strong, handsome samurai of distinguished birth. But after a falling-out with his brother, he abandoned her and ran away from their wedding. Poor Suzuko still didn’t give up. Her fourth husband was the Water Hashira’s exceptionally gifted successor, but a demon killed him. Her fifth husband was the current Water Hashira, a mature and dependable man, but a demon killed him. Her sixth husband was a descendant who inherited Sun Breathing, but he turned into a demon. Suzuko had an epiphany. For her seventh, eighth, and ninth husbands, she tried the Twelve Kizuki and the famed Demon King himself. Since the endings were all the same, she might as well pick the right answer, chosen from all those possible endings. Wouldn’t that let her find happiness? Of course not. Because her ex-husbands came looking for her. Reader notes: 1. The heroine is delicate and soft, an absolute pushover. She’s a pure airhead beauty. 2. Includes sibling rivalry, falling for someone else, wedding snatching and runaway brides, and a love-triangle battlefield. Read with caution. Upcoming novel: Falling for a Client Is the Biggest Taboo in Our Line of Work, also known as The Clients Who Know How to Get Things Done You are Reiko Fuyuki, the top courtesan of Shimabara’s pleasure quarter in Kyoto. Everyone respectfully calls you “Madam Fuyuki.” * Your first client was a strange gentleman. He paid a fortune to book you for a year, just so you could help him search for something called the “Blue Spider Lily.” You found nothing. Your second client rescued you from the first and asked if you would become his fourth wife. You turned him down. Your third and fourth clients were twin brothers. They came looking for you in accordance with their parents’ last wishes, saying that the two families had been betrothed for generations and asking you to choose one of them as your husband. You found the whole thing absurd. The fifth client appeared at this point and became your favorite bedmate. But you could always smell women’s perfume on him. He said his sister was a courtesan too. You told him to get lost. The sixth client brought a colleague along. He spoke loudly, and his colleague had a fiery temper. They spent the whole night chatting absentmindedly, then booked you one after the other on another day. You spent a week recovering in bed. The seventh... no, the eighth client first came alone. He was quiet and taciturn, and liked sitting in peace, eating salmon radish and listening to you play the shamisen. You thought he was boring. Until he brought his ninth client, his senior fellow disciple. The two of them plotted to buy your freedom, but they were short on money, so they could only settle for patronizing your business for now. It took some effort to get them to book you for the night. The tenth client came because of your reputation. He’d heard that you attracted powerful swordsmen, so he spent a long time waiting around you, hoping to catch one. You were very impressed by his stamina. Falling in love with a client is the biggest taboo in your line of work. You know that better than anyone. So you always do exactly as much as you’re paid to do. You never work for free, and you never give it away for nothing. There are plenty of powerful nobles who want you all to themselves, and more than a few demons too. You know your place and move calmly among them, always keeping your footing. If one day you manage to buy your own freedom, you think you’ll go to the Paradise Faith in Tokyo and follow its famed leader’s guidance to the land of bliss. You only hope your clients won’t keep pestering you then. Theme: Love that is hard to come by