Reaction Formation

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A trouble-magnet with a blood-clotting disorder, the uke x a sweet-on-the-outside, ruthless-on-the-inside seme who forgot his roots

-Novel blurb-

Everyone knows that Chu Shuang, commander-in-chief of the Starfleet, is invincible and undefeated.

Few know that he has a blood-clotting disorder of unknown cause.

Years ago, upon returning victorious, he spared the life of a young prisoner of war.

Now, with a bullet in his heart, he has been betrayed by that same boy and imprisoned in the infirmary.

Only after walking once through the gates of death does Chu Shuang learn that the sweet, innocent boy who had been at his side for years is an enemy spy renowned for his ruthlessness. Most absurd of all, because of a single “brother” from the boy and a few words, he had once decided to secretly pull strings and take them both far away.

Looking back now, every moment of their past was just part of a “script”!

Commander Chu regrets it: I gave my heart to a dog. I'll kill you.

The boy regrets it too: Now that things have come to this, what am I supposed to do with you...

*

Su Xinzhao, prince of the Star Alliance, endured humiliation to infiltrate the enemy forces, never expecting to gradually fall in love with their commander.

At last, he completed his mission, only to unwittingly leave his beloved on the brink of death.

At the critical moment,

Su Xinzhao paid a terrible price to save the one he loved.

He thought: He may be cold on the outside, but he's soft-hearted. Once he learns the truth, he'll forgive me.

As if they were meeting for the first time, he placed a knife in the other's hand. “Brother, please come with me. If...”

He never finished. The knife plunged into his chest, straight through: a face-slapping blow that cut to the heart.

Their eyes met.

In the other's gaze, Su Xinzhao saw a hatred capable of tearing his soul apart.

That man was destined to become a great hero. The Empire, the Starfleet, even strangers mattered more to him than Su Xinzhao did.

But Chu Shuang, do they deserve you?

...I don't deserve you either.

He forced a bitter smile, seized Chu Shuang by the collar, and kissed him, mingling his lips with the blood splashed there.

If there's no way to undo this, I'll go down with you in this conspiracy.

I don't mind you hating me. I love you beyond my control. At least this way, we'll always be etched in each other's hearts.

Then, one day, after I've made up for every wrong, I'll make you love me again...

[Notes]

※ One-on-one romance, happy ending.

※ The author knows nothing and is making it all up. The military system is a mishmash of East and West, the science is nonsense, and some plot points are wildly adapted from real historical events. The writing isn't great, and the author loves nitpicking over words.

※ Most of the story is told from the uke's perspective, but that doesn't mean there are no seme POV chapters. The author is fair to both and doesn't favor either one. If this matters a lot to you, please decide for yourself whether to read.

※ “Reaction formation” is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person struggles to understand or accept certain feelings and turns them into opposite behaviors or attitudes. I borrowed the term for the title.

※ The main story won't be too short. It includes, but isn't limited to, love and hate, substitutes, forward-flowing and psychogenic amnesia, cloning, complex PTSD, and some Lovecraftian elements. There wasn't room for all of it in the blurb. The ending will be happy, I swear on my life.

------A preview blurb for a novel by an author who can't write blurbs. Please follow!------

Records of Strange Cases from the Directorate of Astronomy

A hopelessly ill, self-neglecting physician uke x a thoroughly dark seme

-Uke's POV-

During the Zhaohua era of Northern Jin, An Wujin, Director of the Directorate of Astronomy, possessed uncanny abilities and solved countless strange cases.

Everyone thought he was a scholarly immortal, worn out by paperwork. Few knew that he loved lazing around and freeloading, and spouted nonsense he didn't even believe himself.

Fewer still knew that he had once had a closest friend who was caught up in a supernatural incident and died without a trace.

To avenge him, Director An took a dangerous path and was left with grave injuries that defied treatment.

He prepared the other's body for burial and carved an “An” into his chest. Even as a ghost, you're mine. I'll come find you in a few years.

Before then, he wanted to compile his case-solving experience into a book, so he could leave some trace of himself in the world.

*

Several years later, An Wujin traveled to the northern frontier and ran into the Sixth Prince, who was patrolling the border. The prince was as beautiful as a painting, and looked exactly like the beloved An Wujin had lost.

At first, An Wujin thought: You dead bastard, whatever history we have, get off the Sixth Prince first.

Later, An Wujin became more and more convinced that the man hadn't died. Was it a deception? A faked death? Had he turned his back on me? Why did I become half-dead for nothing? Back then... whose chest did I carve that mark into?!

It turned out the other man cared more about serving Heaven and the people than about him.

So An Wujin did exactly as the other man had wished, devoting himself completely to his duties. He dragged his broken body through his extreme routines, solving cases by day and writing books by night. This terrified the Sixth Prince, who became as clingy as a dog-skin plaster, fussing over him and worrying even when he coughed once. Yet whenever An Wujin brought up their old friend and the past, the prince fell silent, practicing his meditation of silence.

An Wujin laughed in anger. “You remember my courtesy name is Wujin, so stop blowing on this handful of ashes.”

*

After that:

In the autumn of Zhaohua 32, Director An solved the case of the smiling ghost who flayed its victims;

In the spring of Zhaohua 33, Director An solved the case of the soul-binding stakes in a corpse-raising ground;

In the summer of Zhaohua 33, Director An solved the case of the living-dead in the paper effigy shop...

Director An even held a ghost wedding with a vengeful spirit.

On their wedding night, he clearly saw the “An” he had carved into the ghost groom's chest and sighed helplessly. “This is the mess I made. If you have a grudge, go find that bastard who faked his death.”

In the dim candlelight, the “ghost groom” caught his hand and pressed it against his chest. His heart thumped beneath it. “It hurt when you carved it in, one cut at a time. I'm that bastard who faked his death. I have no excuse. I was wrong. Punish me however you like. Let's start over, Wujin~”

The truth buried in the past came to light.

At last, An Wujin learned that the man hadn't been a bastard who faked his death. He was a “bastard” who had died in his place.

But when An Wujin calculated his fate, he found that his life element was missing from the Five Phases.

Start over...? What the hell would be the point now!

-Seme's POV-

Zheng Yi had always believed he could disregard imperial power, stay by Wujin's side as they righted the world's wrongs, and live together as a carefree couple.

Until one day, the truth shattered his hopes: he was An Wujin's shadow. Unable to bear replacing him, all he could do was risk everything to protect him.

He was willing to use himself as bait and give up everything.

Theme: Great love knows no bounds. Everyone should have a hero in their heart.