Bernoulli first watched Inzaghi play on the Champions League stage.
Inzaghi came on as a substitute and scored twice. The kid was completely mesmerized, and swore he'd compete alongside this handsome uncle who looked elegant standing still but moved in the most unexpected ways.
Unfortunately, the kid spent three years making his name, then burst onto the Serie A scene like a thunderclap as the Golden Boy, only to find that the handsome uncle had retired and gone into coaching.
Bernoulli said that if he couldn't be Inzaghi's teammate, he could be his opponent instead.
So the kid flew all the way to Italy's second division overnight, and made sure to thrash the team Inzaghi managed in every match they played. After each game, he'd run over all excitedly to ask for an autograph.
Inzaghi was so exasperated he couldn't help laughing.
Then, at the end of the season, his own team rocketed straight into Serie A, and the handsome uncle got fired.
Bernoulli sat at home helplessly pulling at his hair. What was he supposed to do now?
Just then, Inzaghi called him after being sacked.
"Kid, want to work with me?"
Bernoulli could practically picture the handsome uncle giving him a flirtatious wink. His hand shook with excitement, and he dropped his phone into his milk, killing it.
But he didn't even have time to save his brand-new iPhone. He dashed to the garage, picked out the flashiest sports car, floored it to Inzaghi's house, and said "I do" to the handsome uncle before the police caught him for speeding and hauled him back to the station.
Inzaghi first looked surprised, then smiled and winked at Bernoulli.
The Rose of the Apennines received your answer and winked back at you. wink.jpg
Then he watched the kid blush from head to toe with the excitement of someone who'd just gotten engaged, before fainting on the spot.
…
Maybe Inzaghi is the luckiest coach in the world, and not by a small margin.
Most coaches had unremarkable playing careers before making a name for themselves as managers. They have to grind their way up, fend off the rival manager's trash talk, keep the club executives in check, and manage the locker room. One loss can send them from "saint" to "fraud" in an instant.
Inzaghi had won every honor imaginable as a player, and was doing a great job as a coach, too. He hadn't gone bald or gray. Instead, his hair was thick, glossy, and black, and he looked radiant, his face smooth and relaxed.
One coach went to him hoping to learn from his experience, but came back looking utterly miserable. When his colleagues asked what had happened, he could only sigh, "It's the times. It's fate."
That made the other coaches curious, so they went to see for themselves.
And so, one matchday, they witnessed this scene
Inzaghi (furious and powerless): You just stand there, pass it back and forth, send the ball forward, then kick it at the goal! How hard can it be?!
Teammates (question marks over their heads): Coach, are you speaking human language?
Bernoulli (smack, one shot, goal): Ohhh, Pippo, you're such a great coach!
In the end, Inzaghi won the game with a formation that was basically improvised nonsense. The two men who would popularize that formation and make it famous for generations hugged on the sidelines, celebrating wildly with absolutely no control over their expressions.
The watching coaches: …
Ah, so this is what it means to have a cheat code?
Theme: I absolutely refuse to let flowers turn into dried flowers!
