Green Vine

I just finished reading Teacher's Ivy and saw that there were so few comments, so I took the courage to write one. ? First of all, the author's writing style is indeed not bad, but the writing style is a bit immature, after all, he is relatively young. But even so, the writing style is almost enough. After all, if nothing else is said, it is really boring. ? Secondly, due to the space limit, it looks more like a general outline, which is difficult to see clearly. It is like being separated by a layer of fog and unable to see the wonderful details. It lacks some eye-catching points and suspense. In this way, it seems that there is no way to make your article jump out and it is easy to fall into clichés. This is from the plot point of view. ? Furthermore, it's about rhythm. You can feel that the whole text is lyrical, but there is no rhythm. Every emotion seems to be ground carefully, and you don't know how to stop and leave blank space occasionally. Most of them are inner monologues of characters. EMM may be due to the sixth sense... I felt something was wrong at the time. I wonder if the teacher has experienced it (I'm sorry, no offense, because I have done similar things). Then when I saw the words in the comments, I was still a little... Scared? Although but... I think the teacher should protect himself and try not to say it out loud. Because the length and format are jumpy, the plot is incomplete, and there is no way to foreshadow the story. Readers have no way to predict the plot, guess the plot, and increase their interest in reading. Therefore, it looks a bit like a fragmented running account full of emotions, which is a bit dull and lacks tension. ? Then from the perspective of character creation, it seems that it is not very round, it seems a bit idealized, and some behaviors are even a bit exaggerated or... Naive? (I'm sorry, it's just an objective review and I don't mean to dislike it!!) The characters that appear are basically the two protagonists and no one else has a role, so overall it seems more like a small side story between the two of them, which is not complete, but it does have some outstanding points. Sorry for the offence. I just want to objectively analyze it and give it to the teacher for reference. I don't dare to say it is a suggestion. Then the teacher wrote it very well at this age. Although I dare not say that my experience is similar to that of my teacher, it is not in this aspect. I also thought about relief but finally got over it. I wish you happiness every day and look forward to your follow-up.

It's really good-looking, really good-looking! I have worn it through xhs, and all of Qiu Teng's emotional descriptions are spot on! The writing style of Dada is also very good. What I like the most is that song. There are echoes before and after. Although it is short, it really surprised me. I came to Jinjiang to find this song! I really wasn't disappointed! All the descriptions are very specific, but Chang Qing's character is really not well developed. I look forward to the continuation of Chang Qing! Also, be happy every day

First of all, I mean no harm!!! Secondly, the big letters are really good!!! Finally, I would like to make a small suggestion (I don't like to ignore it, there is really no malice!!!): I feel that Chang Qing's character is a bit one-sided. He should have given Qiu Teng some good memories during the time he and Qiu Teng were together, and at least he has his own shining points, otherwise he would not have liked him for so long, but the description makes him feel like a complete bad person. Wouldn't it be better to make Chang Qing more three-dimensional? (How about writing it from Chang Qing's perspective?)

The big letters are really nice 😍

Mi, I don't understand a bit... Does Chang Qing like or hate him? I'm so confused after watching this

Mi, although I don't understand a bit?

"Separating the wrists" is a big bug for the author~ Is "partition" written wrong?

"Separating the wrists" is a big bug for the author~ Is "separated" wrong?