The Cultivation World's Most Notorious Coward

In my previous life, I was the Demon Palace's chief protector. I helped the Palace Master unify the cultivation world, only for us both to be struck dead by heavenly lightning on the day of our victory banquet.

Because the Heavenly Dao discriminates against demonic cultivators.

Screw that. We're all here to cultivate. Who's better than whom?

I closed my eyes in frustration, then opened them in this life. The Palace Master had become my master, and I was the illegitimate son his Dao companion had brought home from outside.

He had to wash the illegitimate child's diapers with a cold expression, while his awful Dao companion put him through a torturous romance.

At the time, I didn't know this useless coward was the Palace Master reincarnated. But even I couldn't stand it as a demonic cultivator. As soon as I could walk, the first thing I did was drug that awful Dao companion. Just as I was about to act, heavenly lightning struck me head-on, turning my five spiritual roots into no spiritual roots at all and leaving me paralyzed.

Only then did the useless coward say to me in a distant voice: "Heart aflame, none can stand against me..."

I instinctively replied in the same distant voice: "The red lotus burns away, defying fate and changing destiny..."

Our eyes met, and he burst into tears. "When I first got here, I drugged that bastard and was just about to act too, when I got struck like that..."

Passersby saw him wearing a huge green hat and still showing such heartfelt affection for the little bastard. From then on, another astonishing tale joined the legends of the world: the Sword Venerable was such a spineless coward.

That old Heavenly Dao was even more crooked than the demonic cultivators. It threatened us with lightning at the slightest excuse, forcing us to abandon evil and embrace good. From then on, among the three thousand Great Paths, we could cultivate only the Spineless Path.

Palace Master: "First of all, it's not the Spineless Path. It's the Path of Boundless Love and Detachment..."

Me: "You can fool other people, but don't fool yourself. Who ever cultivated the Path of Detachment like this? We might as well become demons..."

Palace Master: "Stop thinking about becoming a demon. It's because you were a demonic cultivator in your past life that the Heavenly Dao punished you in this life with a frail body, leaving you neither able to die nor properly alive. *cough cough cough*..."

Me: "Palace Master, you're riddled with illnesses. Maybe don't lecture me..."

Palace Master: "But I am diligently cultivating the Spineless... the Path of Boundless Love and Detachment."

Me: "You let it slip. So you think it's the Spineless Path too."

He flew into a fit of embarrassment and anger. "Why quibble over the name? Would facing the fact that we're forced to cultivate the Spineless Path make you feel better? Life is hard enough as it is. Why not comfort ourselves with a lie? If I weren't struck by lightning every time I tried to act, I'd have done it long ago!"

Me: "Act against me?"

Palace Master: "Of course I mean that bunch of green-hatted bastards! Kill them all!"

*This blurb may be revised again.

*The CP is Palace Master x me: a flirtatious, wild, arrogant genius who is a lovesick wife-guy x a career-driven wife who avoids romance.

*These two unconventional idiots in the blurb are both beautiful, tragic, and powerful. Truly beautiful, truly tragic, and truly powerful.

Theme: Though ground down by countless trials and blows, I remain steadfast, letting the winds from every direction rage on.