Oikawa Is Useless at Everything [Haikyuu!!]

[The final two chapters wrap up the story in a narrative style. If that bothers you, proceed with caution. The full story is free. For the complete ending, see the Nishiyao arc in my author page.]

[Coming soon: Bad Seed Stage, a lighthearted, plot-driven story with a female lead]

Blurb:

Many years later, during a post-match interview after defeating Team Japan, Oikawa said, "I have a childhood friend. We learned volleyball together from a young age. Later, she went pro and became unbeatable in her home country, winning every major title. She's one of the most important people to have influenced my volleyball career..."

What the audience heard: childhood sweethearts, inseparable since childhood, meeting again at the top. So inspiring, so passionate!

What they didn't know was that, before he hit his growth spurt, Oikawa had never once beaten Kazami.

Just her existence alone became the biggest psychological shadow of his childhood, bar none.

At the time, women's national team ace Kazami Kasumi had just pulled Oikawa out of her social media blacklist and told him the truth.

What psychological shadow? Nothing of the sort.

It was only that, ever since they were little, whenever he lost a match, she'd scold him. When he hit an emotional low, she'd slap him awake. And when she kicked him in the butt, even Iwaizumi standing nearby didn't dare speak up.

Before she met Ushijima, Kazami's left-handed spikes had already become a terrifying challenge he had to face at every practice.

Her hard drive held hundreds, even thousands, of childhood photos titled "Oikawa Crying His Eyes Out After Losing to Kazami," ready to look through at any time.

After all, if she didn't do this to push him, she had reason to worry that Oikawa really was useless in every way.

"Scolding, hitting, and mocking him are all acts of love. The deeper the love, the harsher the criticism," Kazami Kasumi said.

Audience: (Deeply shocked)

Oikawa: "...Well, guess she found out."

Reader's Guide: [Content Warnings]

0. Apologies for everything. Lots of headcanons. Early story: elementary school. Middle: childhood friends on opposing teams. Later: professional play. This is a short story.

1. Lots of jokes and references that won't affect the reading experience. They are a bickering couple who are just enemies (?); see the title for the pairing. "The Great King" x "The Great Demon King," 1v1, enemies-to-lovers, happy ending.

2. The female lead is invincible (emphasis added) and terrifyingly domineering. The story is mostly chaotic everyday life, with no descriptions of matches from the original. The male lead will be relentlessly tormented, but it's all steeped in love. Loving torment, and I mean it. I'll say it three times.

3. In Oikawa's second year of high school, Aoba Johsai will defeat Shiratorizawa to win the prefectural championship. All other match results will follow the original and remain unchanged.

4. Unless something unexpected happens, Oikawa will take her surname after they marry. If something does happen, she'll declare that they're breaking up because he played terribly in a particular match (just kidding).

5. I'm not a professional, just doing this for fun in my spare time. My real-life energy is limited, so don't scrutinize the research too closely.

6. The blurb was screenshotted on September 26, 2024.

Theme: The strong reach the summit and face all people as equals