Others Draw Cards, I Draw Memes

Hello, everyone. I'm Ninomiya Sarina.

I've forgotten the beginning, the middle, and the end.

In short, I've been reborn.

This time, I'm going to reclaim everything that belongs to me!

Alien: [I told you, you weren't reborn, you reincarnated!]

In my previous life, a villain harmed me and took away my beloved. This time, no one will separate us.

Artificial Idiot: [Don't make your relationship with money sound like true love!]

It sounds like something weird is talking, but please ignore it.

In short, to get back together with my beloved, I made a pact with an unknown creature called "System 008."

Not to save the world, just to make money.

System 008, finally given a name: [Did you finally show your true colors after giving me a bunch of awful nicknames on your own?]

Advanced AI 008 sighs with a wry smile: [What kind of person did I end up hiring...?]

*

System 008 is useless.

It can't make me grow a pair of awesome wings, give me the power to snap my fingers and make half the world's population disappear, or turn my tears into diamonds.

In this world filled with superpowers, my life, without any superpowers, is already a candle flickering in the wind.

The brainless System tells me I can use the ability settings in my head to manifest a random power every day and use it as a one-day superpower.

008: [Don't escalate this to a personal attack on the System!]

*

Just after arriving in Yokohama, with my pockets even emptier than my stomach, I pulled out the ability "Three sentences to make a man spend 180,000 on me" and successfully got five hundred billion from a hapless guy on the verge of death.

When enemies came after that huge sum of money, I decisively pulled out my new ability, "A rival is a rival. A rival can't become a wife," and successfully turned an enemy into a friend. Lately, though, he's been looking at me rather strangely.

And so, when I'm out of money, I say, "Old geezer, cough up some cash." When I can't win, I say, "Help me, Mr. XX." When I want to see someone dance, I say, "Good night, young lady." When I meet a mute, I say, "Honey, say something." When I can't win an argument, I say, "Don't be ridiculous, I'm right." When I don't want to talk, I use my face and eyes to make a "pie chart."

When I really have to fight for myself, I use "the woman among women, the she-eagle among eagles" to beat every enemy to a pulp.

American five-star general ○○ Arthur once said: "Mom, life is an open wilderness."

That tells us not to listen too much to other people's opinions. Just live wild.

008: [Mom, life is conning me.]

Me: Hehe Ov<

Reader advisory:

1. This story is in the same series as my completed work, I Became the Strongest by Playing on Words. The style is similar, but the content, jokes, and writing techniques are different. You can consider this a completely standalone second installment, so you don't need to have read the other one.

2. This story will make fun of every character equally, including the protagonist, and get absurd. OOC is inevitable.

3. The jokes in this story include, but aren't limited to, dark humor, hellish humor, and humor that's neither one thing nor the other. Feel free to stop reading if it makes you uncomfortable.

4. Some villains may get hurt, so villain fans beware.

Blurb posted on August 19, 2024. Screenshot saved.

Theme: Don't limit yourself