[Western Crossover] After Red Hood Heard My Thoughts

[Short story, complete]

I'm an ordinary cannon-fodder character, an insignificant underling of Black Mask, a supervillain big shot.

One day, while collecting protection money as usual, blurry snippets of the future suddenly flashed before my eyes. In a moment, a hulking superhunk with a red helmet and two guns would smash through the glass and drop down from above.

If nothing went wrong, he'd shoot me twice in the chest and once in the head. Even Hua Tuo would shake his head at that.

Haha, I'm so dead~ (Lying peacefully in a coffin)

Sure enough, after landing, he looked down at me, smelling of smoke. His voice was cold and merciless. "Any last words?"

[Let me see them]

[Come on, let me see them]

Certain I was about to die, I gave up completely and started spouting nonsense in my head.

On the outside, I kept up my pathetic cannon-fodder persona, dropping to my knees at his feet and sobbing with my head in my hands. "P-Please don't kill me... Sob."

[So big, so big, so big, lick lick lick lick, they really jiggle when you jump down, ahhh, I can die without regrets!!!]

Red Hood: "..."

What the hell was that?

Check out my upcoming story too

PS: The first three chapters are already available as a preview in my collection~

Gotham Asylum Simulator

Eudora played a pixel game called Asylum Simulator.

The player had to run a run-down asylum in Gotham. The main quest was to earn ten billion, and completing the achievement would clear the game.

[Your hospital has just opened. Please recruit a patient.]

[A. Sneak into the Arkham Asylum next door and steal a patient.]

[B. Enthusiastically invite the Black Bat to move in.]

[C. Enthusiastically invite the Red Tin Can to move in.]

Eudora stared at option A for a long time, sure she understood everything.

So... this is a business battle game?

With a confident crooked grin, he made his character grab a hoe, brandish a sickle, and charge off at a steady 270 km/h.

Business battle ×

Hot and steamy combat √

The hospital needed a lot of money up front. After much deliberation, Eudora decided to plant more crops and earn ten billion.

The player starts farming → The player gets hooked on farming.

Riddler: "..."

He completely lost it. He'd been eating the director's homegrown yardlong beans for a month. Somebody help!

Stop planting already! Let him leave the hospital!

Player: OvO?

Still, once you're inside our park... ahem, hospital, you can't leave, darling.

*

A player bursting with energy, Eudora farms in the morning, fishes at noon, kills monsters at dusk, chops trees now and then, and even sneaks around rummaging through trash cans. He never takes a break.

Through hard work, the player's finances steadily improve, bringing him ever closer to the goal of ten billion.

But it's still too slow! How can he get rich overnight?

The player ponders. The player gazes pensively at the luxurious Wayne Manor...

His hands are itching. Let's rob the place tonight!

#What's wrong with stealing a little cash?#

#If all the money in the game belongs to the player, does it even count as stealing?#

Bats: "?"

From everyone else's perspective:

A mysterious asylum suddenly appeared in Gotham City.

And its director was especially hard to figure out.

He drifted around as he walked and spun in circles on the spot.

He rummaged through trash cans, chopped trees all over the city, and seemed mentally unwell.

He robbed people wherever he went, then chased the Joker from one end of town to the other just to pluck out his thick green hair and put it on his own head.

What's more, whenever he saw Iron Man, Spider-Man, or other superheroes, he called them his wife, gave them gifts, and muttered that father-son rice bowls were the freshest thing ever, lick lick lick.

Bats solemnly closed the report above, his expression grave. "What a dangerous guy!"

The player passing by looked confused. "Who? Who's dangerous?"

Under Bats' unsettling stare, he marched over, handed over today's gift, and comforted him as casually as ever:

"You got a gift for Tony-Wife too. Don't be mad anymore, okay, rich-wife?"

"Want to sleep at my asylum tonight? My bed is huge!"

#So you've installed the everyone-sleeps-together mod, right?#

#That's right, everyone's the player's wife!#

Bat: ?

"But I'm your dad!"

1. Apologies for the OOC characters (kneeling).

2. A silly fourth-calamity story www

Theme: Love can overcome anything