
People, Don't Call Mi Evil!
人,不准说咪邪恶!
by Jietan (迦檀)
- Status
- Completed
- Length
- 455k Words
- Genre
- Danmei (BL)
- Era
- Modern Era
- Updated
- 6mo ago
- Source
- JJWXC
Synopsis
The great demon king Cen Yuqiu never dreamed that something as absurd as turning into a cat could happen to him.
A voice that appeared out of nowhere in his mind told him that, for the sake of a better, more harmonious world, he had to take animal form and get close to humans to learn human emotions, since his personality was flawed.
The stubborn cat pawed out a whole three-bedroom apartment: What happens if I don't get close to people?
System: Then you'll be a cat for the rest of your life, meow~
Cen Yuqiu took a deep breath. Fine. All I have to do is find an owner and cuddle up to them, right?
The brave cat charged at the new intern as if heading to his doom. Please, take in this weak, pitiful, helpless little kitten!
*
On Sheng Yao'an's first day at the company, where he'd followed his secret crush, a cat latched onto him. The pretty little thing clung to his thigh and glared up at him, meowing fiercely.
Looking into those eyes that reminded him of someone, Sheng Yao'an's heart softened, and he decided to take the supposedly abandoned little thing home.
Who could have guessed that once the little tyrant had secured a long-term meal ticket, his true nature would come out in full?
He wouldn't let Sheng Yao'an pet or hold him. His greatest daily pleasure was outsmarting him and stealing his food. With his excessive salt intake, fur flew all over the house.
Sheng Yao'an couldn't help listing the cat's crimes and asking for advice online. Every reply was the same: A wicked silver shaded cat? Totally normal. My brat is just like that.
Sheng Yao'an sighed. Just make do. What else can you do?
One day, the doting dad came home from work as usual, but the little guy who always waited for him at the door wasn't there.
Suddenly, the rich, smoky-sweet scent of Omega pheromones hit his nose.
Sheng Yao'an searched the bedroom and glimpsed a scene he would never forget.
The Omega he had yearned for appeared out of nowhere on his bed, turning his head to look at him with glistening eyes. His fair skin was damp with sweat and flushed pink.
When he saw Sheng Yao'an, the Omega gave a soft sniff and nuzzled against his neck like a clingy cat.
Sheng Yao'an froze. "...Senior?"
Cen Yuqiu: "Meow~"
Sheng Yao'an: !!!
Urgent, looking for answers: What do you do when your secret crush is the cat you keep at home?
[Bonus Scene]
"Warning! Human-form conversion time is up. Countdown to turning into a cat: ten, nine, eight..."
Cen Yuqiu tossed aside his files and raced to the door, throwing his arms around Sheng Yao'an the moment he came in.
An employee who had only come to deliver some files and just had his entire worldview shattered: "You... you two!"
Cen Yuqiu, who couldn't clear his name even if he jumped into the Yellow River: "..."
Today's hot topic in the break room:
Brother Cen and his puppy-like little brother are as lovey-dovey as ever.
Fake sunny, cheerful big boy who is actually a scheming Alpha seme X outwardly shrewd, ascetic, aloof beauty who is actually a slow-witted, innocent Omega uke
* Younger seme, uke-centric, one-on-one. The uke is oblivious, while the seme has a secret crush on him.
* The seme is born with an irresistible cat-attracting aura. His pheromones smell like silver vine, a match made in heaven for cats!
--- Preview Boundary ---
Synopsis for My Misfortunate Wife, Married to a Dragon-Proud Hero
Lu Zhiheng recently discovered that his husband, who had narrowly escaped death, had changed.
At first, he thought his husband had simply hit his head, but after testing him again and again, he became certain that something had taken over his husband's body.
Unable to bear seeing his husband become unrecognizable, one night he sharpened a blade and, without hesitation, plunged it into his husband's heart.
"Warning! Protagonist Meng Yuanzhou confirmed dead. World collapse! Resetting world... Reset failed!"
"Residual consciousness detected. Initiating total erasure... Crackle! Erasure... hiss... System forced restart!"
"Forced reset successful. Mission level upgraded to C+. Good luck with your mission!"
Little did anyone know, this was only the beginning. Countless Hosts died at Lu Zhiheng's hands after that.
Lu Zhiheng, the cannon-fodder husband who was supposed to help his husband rise to glory, only to be used and discarded by herculean, dragon-proud husband before taking his own life, raised a beginner-level mission to hell difficulty all by himself. He became the Black Widow who made every mission-taker tremble with fear.
One day, a voice suddenly rang in Lu Zhiheng's mind.
"Please!" The mechanical voice sounded tearful. "Just agree to follow the plot once. I'll do anything you ask!"
Lu Zhiheng gave a cold "Oh," took aim at his husband, and pulled the trigger.
*
Meng Yuanzhou's greatest pride in life was marrying Lu Zhiheng. He swore he would treat Lu Zhiheng well for the rest of their lives.
But a bandit attack shattered his promise. As he lay gravely wounded and near death, an outsider's soul forcibly seized his body.
Too weak to do anything, he could only watch as "he" fell out of love and hurt Lu Zhiheng again and again.
The day Lu Zhiheng was stripped of his family property and cast aside by "him," Meng Yuanzhou finally broke free of his restraints and reclaimed control of his body.
He had only one wish: Kill me. Don't give me another chance to hurt you!
But death didn't mean the end. The world fell into a loop.
With his memories wiped, Meng Yuanzhou couldn't understand why his wife had become so cold and suspicious. After an argument, he stormed out, only to be struck on the head by falling bricks.
In a daze, he heard himself say, "Hey, this body's pretty handsome. His wife's gorgeous, too. She must taste great."
"Ding! The original owner's memories and main quest have finished loading. Host, please do your best to complete the mission!"
A wife-devoted seme who has no desire to be a dragon-proud hero X a diligent, husband-killing, unhinged Black Widow uke
* A loving couple team up to fight against invading Hosts. The seme and uke are absolutely devoted to each other!
* The Host is the Host, and the seme is the seme. The Host's vile actions have nothing to do with the seme, so please keep them separate! Later on, the seme will leave the body and become a separate person from the Host.
* No cheating, no cheating, no cheating!!!
Synopsis for Human, the Fish Misses You So Much at Sea
--- A Fairy Tale from the Uke's Perspective ---
They say that feeding a human a live fish regularly helps them grow up big and strong.
After spending so much time with orcas, the merman Sein developed a taste for humans and decided to fish out a soft, squishy human to raise.
He waited eagerly in the same spot every day, but a hundred years passed without him seeing even a single ship.
Sein: Where are all my humans? How come there aren't any left?
Humans had gone extinct.
Sein heard this sad news from an orca and, after much soul-searching, decided to give up on his human-hunting project.
Just then, a cruise ship slowly sailed into his waters.
Sein: Didn't they say humans went extinct? Is that a ghost ship?
A humanoid creature went "thump" as it fell from the ghost ship, landing right in front of Sein.
Should he pick it up or not?
Sein thought about it for one second, then scooped up the human and ran.
The human he picked up this time was perfect in every way, except that he suddenly disappeared.
Sein gestured with both hands. "Excuse me, have you seen the human I was raising? It was this big!"
The big-tailed fox narrowed his eyes and leaned closer. "Give me a kiss, and I'll make your human appear."
Sein flashed his claws. "You bad fox! I knew you were hiding my human QAQ!!!"
The big-tailed fox went "poof" and turned into a human. "Baby, it's me! Please spare me those claws!"
--- A Serious Version from the Seme's Perspective ---
Super-rich second-generation heir Tan Jin willfully threw an adults-only party at sea, only to be knocked unconscious and thrown into the water.
When he opened his eyes again, he found a beautiful creature before him: a male merman with deep violet eyes.
The merman kept him as a pet on a deserted island and even scared off the people who came to rescue him.
Worse, he was injured and infected. If he didn't escape the island soon, he was as good as dead.
Tan Jin clutched his wound and looked at the merman sunbathing leisurely on the reef. I have to find a way to escape, and trick this fish into coming with me.
A peacock-proud, delicate second-generation heir red fox beastman seme X an innocent, devastatingly powerful, ferocious merman uke
* A landlord's dim-witted son and a silly merman fall in love. They dote on each other, one-on-one.
* Set in a world where a global catastrophe caused humans to mutate into beastfolk. The seme first struggles to survive on a deserted island, then the uke boldly ventures into the human world.
* The uke can't speak very well at first, so there are lots of internal monologues. He'll speak normally once he reaches the human world.
Theme: Discovering the beauty in life
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Reader comments 20
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Daily life after marriage! I want to see daily life after marriage!
Claw! As the old saying goes, remember to pay attention to your health.
The fragrance of my wife comes before the pain 🤩
Sometimes having a long mouth is really important!
"Super reason" gives the author a lot of trouble ~ quarrel
The dog in the previous life seemed to be unintelligent, how could he be so confident (holding his forehead)
[Purple Sugar] Come on kswl
There is car exhaust at the beginning hehe
😭😭 I hope the little bitter melon can have a happy New Year
Happy New Year, madam! I hope Qiuqiu and Yaoan can be happy forever [Orange candy] I got it [Orange candy] I got it [Orange candy] I got it