Aiqiye has an incredibly long full name: Aiqiye Alzhan Jidina Aleksandrovich.
His French father gave him his first name, his Polish mother gave him his surname, and his middle name, Argentina, stands for the country where he was born and raised.
His name has more than thirty letters, and he couldn't write it out in full from memory until he was nine and signing his second youth-training contract with River Plate. Even then, he made mistakes and had to cross out and correct it three times. But it wasn't entirely the name's fault: his twin brother, Baladiye, has a name several letters longer, yet could write it at four.
His mother thinks he's a little slow, but Aiqiye doesn't agree. He thinks he just isn't good at writing. Once he steps onto the football pitch, he becomes the smartest, fastest, and most prolific scorer of them all.
He is a passionate little puppy who grew up under the South American sun, a razor-sharp winger who lit up the Argentine Primera Division, River Plate legend Claudio Caniggia's much-praised “star of tomorrow,” the “next son of the wind” touted by the papers, and the adorable “little wing” of River Plate fans. In his first season with the senior team, he scored nineteen goals and helped the club win the league title. He also finished as the top scorer of the 2018-19 season, attracting interest from top clubs across Europe.
At eighteen, he made his first move to Europe. Fans argued fiercely over whether he would go to Barcelona or Manchester City, but Aiqiye chose Bayern Munich. In Germany, where winter lasts four or five months a year, during the season the team claimed the treble, Aiqiye fell in love with a Polish man.
At nineteen, Aiqiye was about to join the national team. When the two traditional powerhouses France and Argentina came calling, Aiqiye said, “I choose Poland.”
The young eagle took flight over the Pampas, circled the skies, and eventually flew to the Baltic Sea, landing beneath a red-and-white flag.
Ultimate brocon twin brother Baladiye: “You %&*#@￥%&... Fine, then I'll choose Poland too.”
The final pairing is Lewandowski.
Despairing househusband and locker-room warrior x cheerful puppy and peacemaker.
Both have other boyfriends along the way; neither is their first relationship.
Includes some “Open up, big brother, it's me, your sister-in-law” moments.
Lighthearted everyday life, with plenty of romance. Mostly people falling in love over and over, with relatively little match action and the career storyline taking a back seat.
Also known as: “You Have to Date a German Man, Too,” “You Have to Date a Spanish Man, Too,” “You Really Have to Date a French Man, Too,” “An Italian Man Would Work, Too,” “A Dutch Man Would Be Nice, Too,” “A Brazilian Man Is Fine, Too,” “A Belgian Man Would Work, Too,” “A Croatian Man Is Worth a Taste, Too,” “An English Man... Munch, munch, munch.”
Theme: The great roc rises with the wind one day and soars ninety thousand miles.
