I'm Just an Ordinary Delivery Driver

I'm an utterly ordinary food delivery driver. Every day, I take orders and deliver them.

It's just that some of my customers are a little strange.

One customer was playing hide-and-seek. When I found him, he immediately grabbed me and pulled me into a corner to hide, whispering nervously, "Shh, don't let them find us."

I was completely baffled. I pointed at the ugly black shadow behind him. "You mean that thing?"

The shadow grinned wickedly and lunged at the customer, who yelped and screamed.

Annoyed, I grabbed the shadow and tore it to pieces, then looked at the customer. "Can you sign for your delivery first?"

The customer dropped to his knees and shook as he said, "Thank you, thank you!"

I glanced at him and thought, another one who's not right in the head.

All my customers are weird. Some like to swim while screaming for help. Some enjoy chopping off their own arms. Others carry a whole bag of talismans and spend all day babbling about wanting to go home.

I figure they must have escaped from a psychiatric hospital. At least they're all pretty nice to me. Every time I deliver an order, they kneel and cry, "Save us, boss!" They call me a godlike NPC and say they want to marry me.

But I don't care about any of that. After all, I'm just an ordinary delivery driver.

All I have to do is pick up the orders from a black coffin when the red moon rises, deliver them to the addresses, then close out the orders and collect my coins.

Another day of working hard! 0v0

Theme: I'll fill this in once I've thought it through