I'm Just a Little God

Everyone who knows Ji Lin knows the guy has some unusual powers.

"A wave of his hand draws the borders, a word from him decides the world's fate." That's his ability, the Rulebook.

Once he activates it, everyone within the area he defines must obey the rules he lays down. It sounds ridiculously cool.

"So why are you firing me?!" Ji Lin stood in the Special Operations Bureau director's office, his face full of anguish. "My ability is obviously so useful!"

The director held a thermos and cursed so furiously that spittle flew. "Bullshit! I don't even want to talk about your lousy ability!"

"Last time we faced off against drug dealers, you made a rule that everyone in your domain had to peel bananas from the butt end. The dealers nearly died laughing, and I let it slide!"

"This time, during the kidnapping of the X-nation princess, you made promises and even wrote a will. I only sent you in because I felt sorry for you, and what did you do?!"

"You made everyone clap with their asses!!"

"Are you going to spend your whole life obsessed with asses or what!!!"

The director's fury only grew. A gust from his punch sent the door flying open. "Get out! Get out of here right now!"

"Before that princess's complaint letter arrives, you get your ass out of here, quick and clean!"

Ji Lin rubbed his nose and left the Special Operations Bureau as his colleagues looked on with glee.

That's right. His ability sounds cool, but it's a complete mess in practice.

When he activates it, he can only recite whatever is written in the Rulebook. Clapping with their asses is the least of it. He's even made people he was supposed to rescue dance the hula.

As if things weren't bad enough, the apocalypse arrived just after he lost his job.

The Special Operations Bureau's headquarters was besieged by zombies. Ji Lin struggled to escape, but along the way he saved a handsome man who claimed to be a doctor.

That man's ability was actually... turning back time!

"I can only rewind three seconds." The man looked gloomy. "I'm from the survivor base up ahead. When I was trying to save the base leader, I was forced to use my ability too many times. The leader kept dying over and over... Now the whole base is hunting me."

Ji Lin: "..."

Great, just my luck.

Wait, so what if it's only three seconds? If I recite the rules fast enough, can't I keep rerolling the Rulebook forever? Surely I'll get something useful eventually!

Once he'd figured that out, Ji Lin looked at the man with burning enthusiasm.

The story of two useless (hilarious) ability users who meet in the apocalypse, then kick ass everywhere they go and shamelessly flirt along the way.

Theme: Playing games in moderation is good for the brain; getting addicted to them is bad for your health.