[Football] Can Germany's Little Bie Win the Championship Too?

[Updates may occasionally vary. Please see the author's announcements for details. Enjoy reading!]

TANTO NOMINI NULLUM PAR ELOGIUM

No eulogy could do justice to such a great name.

Sharp Yanik.

A good husband who believes in classical love;

A good son who never gives his parents cause for worry;

A law-abiding, upstanding citizen currently living in Munich, Germany;

An angler who never comes home empty-handed;

A football player.

Perhaps he's pretty good at football? Well, actually, he's incredibly good.

The above is Sharp's own assessment of himself. This magazine does not endorse it in full, but out of respect for Mr. Yanik, we have recorded it faithfully.

Here is our own friendly addition:

...He is a player beyond all measure, powerful beyond compare, unstoppable, and truly epic. No striker like him existed in the past, and, we suspect, none will appear in the future. He is one of a kind.

At the start of his professional football career, he launched into a phenomenal run, helping Arsenal, an English Premier League powerhouse that had gone nine years without a title, win a treble and making Neville clutch his head and shout from the studio, "Who's going to stop him?!"

As a Bayern prince born and bred, he and his teammates ushered in the era of "Cosmic Bayern" dominating Europe under veteran coach Heynckes. Whether it was club, national team, or individual honors, if we had to use a metaphor for the sheer number of them, it would be enough to make Kane cry himself to sleep.

Sharp merely shook his head at the magazine's contents, then turned and called out to the tall, blond man watering the flowers in the backyard:

"If they ask you to be a goalkeeper coach one more time, I'm really pulling the phone cord out!"

1. The author is a casual football fan. This is a partly alternate-universe story that doesn't follow the historical timeline exactly. It starts in 2011 and includes plenty of OOC.

2. He really will snatch a lot of trophies.

3. Pairing: Neuer

Theme: Pursue your dreams and never fall