I Kissed You Beautiful Tragic Types

- After failing his tribulation and being struck dead by lightning, a little snake is unexpectedly reborn and bound to a Scum Gong System. The System tells him to follow the plot and torment the male lead he kidnapped, both physically and emotionally, humiliating and playing with him. In return, once the mission is complete, Heaven will let the little snake transform into a dragon and be reborn anew. The little snake is brimming with confidence, ready to begin his villainous role. He opens his eyes to see the cold, aloof male lead he kidnapped resisting him to the death, a dagger held to his throat. "..." The little snake freezes. The little snake doesn't dare move. On his first day as a villain, all he wants is to pack up and leave. System: Mission One [Ruin the male lead's reputation] The little snake recalls the cold, aloof male lead, who bit him in bed and hoarsely warned him that if he dared use both at once again, he'd skin him alive. The little snake doesn't dare. But if he doesn't do any work, the System will take away the lifespan it advanced him. Eyes brimming with tears, the little snake secretly follows the male lead to the Immortal Sect Assembly. In front of all the male lead's seniors, he points at him and cries out in anguish: You slept with me and won't take responsibility! I'm pregnant! With your child! You won't even give me a title! You scumbag! The seniors: ? The System: ? The male lead: ? That's got it backwards :) System: Mission Two [Humiliate him and make him furious] The little snake slithers along the male lead's collar, silently cheering himself on as he wraps his tail around the male lead's lower body. The male lead's hand trembles. His teacup falls and shatters, and he angrily pulls the snake out. "What are you doing?!" System: ...? Little snake: You tell me, is he angry or not? System: Mission Three [Torture him physically] Snake: Strip the male lead, nom nom nom nom nom. The male lead, covered in bite marks: . System: Mission Four [Flirt around. Get involved with someone else in front of him and torment his heart] The little snake dives into a medicinal garden full of spirit flowers and herbs, then rolls around. He catches a basketful of little snakes, ties them into bows with his tail, and wears them around his neck, admiring himself in the mirror with satisfaction. The garden's owner screams. The garden's owner is furious. The garden's owner catches the offending snake on the spot and sends him to the Cliff of Reflection. The male lead arrives with spirit stones, redeems the snake, and carries him away. System: Mission Five [If you want to be a proper villain, you must fight the male lead to the death!] Snake: (stripping the male lead) Fight the male lead to the death! System: ? #You never said it couldn't be in bed# System: Mission Six [Collude with the demonic path, frame him, and hand him over to the Demon Venerable to be humiliated. Let him taste what it means to lose everything. After the male lead turns evil, he is reborn anew and kills the Demon Venerable. Mission complete.] "..." The male lead pokes the limp snake around his wrist and raises an eyebrow. "What, did you exhaust yourself to death?" The little snake says nothing. Three days later, the "Demon Venerable" is assassinated and dies on the spot. When the male lead wakes and hears the news, he instinctively reaches for the snake to tuck him into his robe before heading out. But all he feels beside him is the snake's cold, stiff body. He looks down. The little snake is curled into a ball, silent as a statue. His attempt to summon its soul fails. He trespasses into the underworld and emerges covered in wounds, with nothing to show for it. Spirits roam all around him, and he is no different from them. That same year, on Mount Buzhou, a newborn little dragon opens its eyes. Silly, sweet, clueless snake gong × scheming, ruthless, beautiful, strong, tragic male lead shou Strong x strong. Proceed with caution if you're particular about your favorite side. The snake is a Blizzard Brooks. It's nonvenomous, a big dog in snake form, with a rare, pure-white appearance. It's very resistant to poison and likes using people as climbing frames. It looks dazed and isn't all that smart either. When bullied, it only hisses twice before slithering away flat against the ground. There is a side CP, happy ending, demon king gong. Not much content. Cover art by @Su Shuang Pre-release novel: After a Max-Level Expert Becomes a Cripple. Please add it to your reading list. Serious blurb: Long, long ago, the gong found an injured, scruffy little wolf pup that loved biting and scratching. The young man had a bit of a thing for fluffy creatures. He looked the little wolf pup over from every angle, then smiled as he tucked the angry little ball of fur that had bitten him into his arms to warm his hands. "You want to come home with me." Like hell I do! * He feeds it, and it bristles. He applies herbal medicine, and it bites him. He tucks it into his arms to sleep, and it howls in his ear all night. He accidentally touches the little furry bell, and the wolf pup's fur fluffs up in every direction. It bares its sharp teeth and curses darkly: "Idiot! Hypocrite! Shameless! You stinking cultivator. One day, I'll make sure there's not enough of you left to bury!" The wolf pup howls until it's exhausted. Unable to resist its fatigue, it soon lies drowsily against the Immortal Venerable's steady, peaceful heartbeat. It falls asleep. * Later, the Immortal Venerable dies as he wished, and the little wolf pup becomes the infamous Demon Venerable. He is reborn into the body of a frail cripple. As he strolls past his own grave, he sees a man dressed entirely in black, his build lithe, sitting in front of it and draining jug after jug of wine. Snow covers his hair and shoulders. The man's voice is hoarse and heavy with sorrow. "Master. Are you really so heartless?" "You haven't come back to see me in so many years." The Immortal Venerable's heart aches. Then he hears the man continue: "If you dare come back, your disciple will lock you up in the Luomo Palace, bind your hands, seal your cultivation, and cut open your chest to see what your heart is made of." The Immortal Venerable stiffens. "..." Ha ha. He accidentally stayed dead too long, and his little disciple went mad! - "People say I was born a demon, heartless and cruel for no reason, a monster ruled by an instinct for violence and slaughter." "People say that if this child is not eliminated, the world will never know peace." "But he deflected the blades, spears, and halberds of those who tried to kill me in my cradle. He took me back to the Ling Shuang Hall, where spring lasts all year, and taught me to read and write, right from wrong, and how to follow my heart." "He taught a demon born without kindness or loyalty to cultivate a seven-orifice exquisite heart." - Unhinged blurb from the gong's POV: (Out for a stroll) What's this? Oh, a fluffy little wolf pup. (Sits bolt upright) What! Fluffy! I'll take it. I'll take it! Though you may be a creature born of demonic energy, you have a fine, glossy coat. Fortunately, I know a little about taming and soothing creatures like you. I might as well give it a try. (Gets bitten) (Gets bitten) My hands are rusty / the wind is too strong / I'm not full / these clothes are in the way / I forgot the food for the wolf / I stepped in mud today. (Gets bitten) Hmm. A fluffy creature that I can keep picking up, rubbing, petting, and kissing, and that will only go red-eyed and silently retract its sharp claws and fangs. Blurb updated. Strictly monogamous 1v1, no switching or reversing. Master and disciple, age gap, gong POV. Theme: Saving others is saving yourself.