I Became an Evil God, But I Didn't Mean to Be This Hilarious

What should you do when you transmigrate and inexplicably grow ears and a tail? Bai Shu looked up at the statue in front of him, then at his friend on the ground, being drained of blood as a sacrificial offering. Why did I have to transmigrate into a scene of an evil god ritual? How do I save myself? Please answer online! It's urgent! [Ding! The Godhood Choice System has loaded successfully.] A golden finger? Great, great! Give me a little boy who can blow all these bastards to smithereens! [Option One: Charge in and fight the cultists. Reward: one bowl of Meng Po's soup.] [Option Two: Make the cultists some big promises. Reward: Silver-tongued Persuasion +1, change class to cultist.] [Option Three: Steal the evil god's sacrifice and escape. Reward: a personal old master.] Hold on. Is this System even serious? After narrowly escaping the cultists, Bai Shu discovered that his personal old master was anything but ordinary! What kind of personal old master has long golden hair and clear blue eyes, and likes to get right up in people's faces when he talks?! Faced with that devastatingly beautiful face and the “cat teaser” swaying in front of him, its little heart-shaped tip bobbing, Bai Shu pounced, pinning the docile, obedient golden-haired incubus to the ground. “Tell me who you are! And what can you teach me?” Confusion filled the beauty's lake-blue eyes as his golden hair swayed between his black horns. “I've forgotten everything. All I remember is that my name is Louis.” Though the incubus looked gentle and beautiful, he could punch a dragon so hard it turned to dust. I'm in love. Who could say no to a personal old master like this? With Louis keeping him on track, Bai Shu studied hard through tears and, as expected, got into the best magic university. On the first day of school, he heard an upperclassman introduce someone with great enthusiasm: “The person before you is the hero who saved the world a hundred years ago and slew countless powerful beasts: Lord Louis!” Bai Shu looked at the holy statue, shining with glory and revered by thousands. Then he looked at the incubus beside him, his tail swaying gently. His brain crashed. “Wait! Isn't something wrong here?!” “Sadly, this hero later fell into madness, but whatever happened, his accomplishments are still worthy of praise!” Bai Shu was about to ask more, but the incubus, usually so gentle, raised a hand to cover his eyes. “What's so interesting about a statue? If you want to know something, why not ask me?” Bai Shu: When did you get your memories back?! A preview of my upcoming novel, ■The Coffin Lid Can Barely Hold It Down Annuo lay in his coffin, staring at the lid, which had been pried open a crack, and began thinking back on his miserable life. He'd inexplicably transmigrated, been pushed into becoming a hero who saved the world, and finally died of exhaustion on the battlefield. People praised and celebrated him, hung his portrait on the wall, and even gave the public an extra day off. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with any of that, except that he'd opened his eyes again inside his coffin. Hearing people outside say things like “May our ancestors protect us” and “Unfilial descendants are borrowing something; we'll definitely return it later,” he couldn't hold back any longer and burst out of his coffin. “Have people started robbing tombs of their own ancestors now?!” The unfilial descendants saw their ancestor rise from the coffin and promptly grabbed his leg, wailing. “Ancestor! Please do something about the dragon you fought back then! That thing attacks our family every few days!” Annuo looked helplessly at the descendant clinging to his leg. “What are you talking about? A dragon sleeps for a hundred years at a time. How could it attack our family?” Then an earthquake hit. Annuo felt the ground shaking violently as the tomb chamber broke apart and daylight poured in. A gigantic golden eye appeared in the fissure. Its indifferent gaze suddenly softened. “I found you!” Clutching his sword, Annuo warily watched the old friend he'd fought for decades and prepared to attack. But the other party changed back into human form. The golden-haired, golden-eyed man stood at a distance, looking wounded, like a jilted lover. “I agreed to let you become a dragon knight back then. Don't leave me again!” “I refuse to believe someone as powerful as you could die. This has to be a trick!” Dragons have no sense of time, but they are astonishingly devoted. Whether it's glittering treasure or the one they love most. Theme: Even in the abyss, the most beautiful flower can bloom.