I Want to Play Identity V

[The author drew the cover themselves because they couldn't afford to commission one (looks away). It's a little rough, but take a look anyway.]

I'm an ordinary Joseph player. Right before an exhilarating ranked match, my Joseph got banned.

Looking at Joseph in the black-and-white photo, my face twisted and tears of regret fell.

"My Joseph got banned again, aaaaaah!"

Bad news: My tears were like a faucet that wouldn't turn off, and the outlet happened to be broken and unrepaired. I got electrocuted and died.

Good news: In my last life, I played Identity V on my phone. In this life, I don't even need to turn on my phone. I can just jump right in.

Why?

Of course it's because this world is one giant Identity V! Bakaaa! Hermit, this is all your fault. How did you manage to connect the electricity to my head? My machine exploded! It's all your fault!

...What, hunters don't need to decode? Whatever, I'm a Joseph player.

I'll use my card return as a blink, assassinate in the photo world. So what if I just messed up? So what if my connection lagged? You're all gonna die! Gahahahaha!

Huh? I'm fighting Sukuna??? For real?

The stuff above was just me messing around. I've written Identity V, so cut me some slack.

The jjxx absurdity has been ramping up lately, so I came back to see the fun (lol) (Jackie's face... damn Brain) (I hate you, iivv) (I still hate you even now).

This is a nonsensical work meant purely for fun. I wrote it just for a laugh, so don't get your hopes up. The characters are seriously out of character, and the protagonist's mindset changes drastically.

I'm a fujoshi, so there's a lot of Joseph x Aesop content.

Also, expect my trademark nonsensical descriptions and a narrative style that's definitely a bit messed up.

The protagonist's wardrobe isn't my wardrobe. My playtime restriction ended too late, so I never got DM. Now he's 5,000 apiece. How long do I have to write for that, damn it?

Because my Joseph got banned again.

I get banned when I play hunter, and when I play survivor they ban Joseph. What the hell am I supposed to play? I play Joseph, I know who he's going to use his card return on, whose photo he'll take, which photo he'll use! Let me kite! (angry)

A sixty-year-old man's unstoppable pursuit. If you're playing Doctor, you're done for. Please don't ban him. You could ban Geisha or Hermit instead!

What do you mean, Banshee? Is there no law? No justice? DDD, call Hound.

Also, please vote for Joseph for the Nymph Awards! Please vote for Joseph for the Nymph Awards! I'm begging you!

I'll write 3,000 more words for every 10 votes. Please vote for Joseph for the Nymph Awards!

Theme: Let's go down to the pier and get some fries.