Take You as My Matchmaker

The State of Yu has been buzzing lately. The people have nothing better to do each day than gossip about the latest news they've heard.

They say the Minister of Rites' mistress, who he'd been keeping outside the home, showed up with a sixteen-year-old child and demanded to be made his second wife. The minister's wife was so furious she collapsed!

Someone in the know revealed that the minister's son had told the illegitimate child, “Either I stay, or he does.” But the Minister of Rites put on his father's airs and brushed him off, even telling his son to advise his mother to be more accommodating.

Enraged, the minister's son declared on the spot that he would become a cut-sleeve, ending his family's line through him. They say he recently left home with his mother, taking nothing with them, and set up a household of their own!

At that, everyone was astonished and hurriedly asked, “And then what happened?”

Well, then...

Yan An took his mother's hand, anxious. “Mother, I truly don't like women. Even if you swallow your anger for my sake, he won't keep pretending forever. He'll turn on us all the same.”

“Didn't he curse me, saying I'd die a miserable death for being a cut-sleeve and end up alone? I'll become a matchmaker, arranging marriages for people. I refuse to believe that after meeting so many people, I can't find a man like me!”

The sickly woman swallowed the bitterness in her throat. In the end, she couldn't bring herself to say anything that might trouble him. “Don't be afraid. I don't blame you. As long as you're happy, there's nothing wrong with being a cut-sleeve.”

Later, the minister's son put up a matchmaker's sign and devoted himself to arranging marriages. Strangely enough, every couple he matched stayed happily together.

Not only did many young men and women whose marriages seemed hopeless find their true loves through Yan An, but the number of newborns also increased. This was big news in the State of Yu, where marriages were arranged without the couple meeting and the population was dwindling!

Before long, this inexperienced male matchmaker became even more popular than matchmakers who'd been at it for over a decade. Countless unmarried men and women treated him as an honored guest and dubbed him Little Yue Lao.

When he heard the news, the Minister of Rites, on his way to court, stuck his nose in the air and declared, “A man playing matchmaker is improper. A man being a cut-sleeve is an outrage against nature.” But as soon as the court session ended, the current emperor punished him by ordering him to stay home and reflect on his conduct. The reason: as Minister of Rites, he had committed the outrageous act of favoring his concubine and mistreating his wife.

The people gossiped among themselves. Could it be that His Majesty had taken notice of Young Master Yan's matchmaking skills? After all, the emperor's harem was still empty!

On the matter, the emperor grabbed Young Master Yan, who was just about to go to sleep, and chuckled softly. “So you've tied red threads for so many people. When will you tie one for me?”

Sore all over, Yan An buried his head in the man's arms and muttered, “Don't bother me. I'm sleepy.”

“First, tell me when my enthronement ceremony as your empress will be held.”

Completely worn down, Young Master Yan answered with a sleepy, thoroughly perfunctory expression, “Tomorrow. Tomorrow, all right?”

So the next day, the Imperial Astronomical Bureau received news that the emperor was going to make someone empress and hurried to find an auspicious date. The Ministry of Rites received the same news and immediately set to work preparing the ceremony. When the people heard, they all smiled as if to say, “Just as expected.”

Only the Minister of Rites, hearing a hint from his superior that the decree appointing an empress had been sent to that unlucky fellow's home, went straight back and beat his wife and scolded his children. He regretted it so much his guts turned green!

Extra scene:

Yu State Gazette: Have you ever risked your life for something?

Yan An gazed into the distance, remembering the day he'd helped a woman escape her scumbag husband and been chased for three whole streets by the man's dog. He nodded emphatically. “Yes, for someone else's love.”

Yu State Gazette: ? How am I supposed to explain that to His Majesty?

Extra scene:

After the Minister of Rites' family drama, the Minister of Revenue was so frightened that he lectured his son sternly: “Don't you dare follow the Minister of Rites' son! Why would a perfectly good man become a cut-sleeve?”

Later, the Minister of Revenue took one look at his son's face and sighed deeply. “I suppose it's not impossible to like men. Could you dress up a bit and try to bump into the emperor?”

His son: “Not everyone has the luck and skill of the emperor's husband. Besides, I'm not into men. :)”

Extra scene:

One day, the emperor had nothing better to do and started comparing himself with his consort.

Emperor (confidently): “I can ride and shoot. I can hit a target from a hundred paces and never miss. I can cut down every enemy from horseback.”

Yan An (puffing out his chest): “I can climb walls. Brick walls, earthen walls, none of them can stop me. I've helped every person locked at home and forced to marry climb over the wall and escape.”

The emperor continued, “I can lead troops into battle when needed, and safeguard my realm and pass it down to my heirs when the time comes.”

Yan An, munching on sunflower seeds: “You can't pass it down to heirs. Did you forget the two of us can't have children? What, beauty fades and love fades with it? Regretting it now? Want to take concubines and have children?”

Emperor: “I was just running my mouth. You're really trying to kill me. Look at this cold sweat. It came pouring out all at once. :)”

Theme: A good life is something you make for yourself