I Saved the Cultivation World by Trying to Get Myself Killed

[A plug for my work in progress: The Black Lotus Master Guides Me in Winning Him Over. Male master and female disciple; the heroine has a System, but the male lead finds out from the start. If you like master-disciple romances, come give it a try!]

[Synopsis]

Xiao Xianchan is the third disciple of the poorest sect in the cultivation world, and her sect has a rather unusual style:

The junior sister boils the senior brother's skull to make soup, the second senior brother pays off his debts by hauling manure, and the master is obsessively shipping the sect's founding ancestor with characters in the fanfiction she writes!

To earn spirit stones, Xiao Xianchan takes her eccentric fellow disciples to the Ten Directions Assembly, determined to scrape into the top sixty. But the moment she leaves home, her talent for getting herself into trouble fully awakens.

She rescues a mysterious, dying beauty, then turns around and submits him to a beauty pageant;

She runs into a vengeful ghost looking for a new groom and immediately starts spreading rumors with a dirty romance: "Sis, the groom you picked is a bottom when he's out and about!"

A Buddhist sage is trapped in an obsession and won't wake up? She pulls out her fanfiction and threatens him: "Your wife is a fan of my books. Go on, try hitting me!"

At last, Xiao Xianchan gets herself into deep trouble at the Ten Directions Assembly. One slip of the hand turns the ultimate secret realm into the melodramatic imperial romance she wrote, forcing the entire cultivation world to act out a scandalous, over-the-top plot!

The body cultivators are so inferior in physique to the tortured romance heroine that their hearts of the Dao shatter in rage;

The medical cultivators get the special package: "If you can't cure her, I'll have every one of you buried with her";

And some people even suffer facial spasms from keeping up their domineering CEO expressions, forever losing their natural faces!

The cultivators say nothing, merely refreshing the list of prodigy rankings over and over. In first place, they find: "Yi Yi Yi, Penglai Island proxy buyer. Salted-fish mermaid pearls and flower honey, bulk orders discounted."

Xiao Xianchan says nothing, merely regrets it: "If only I'd held back a little. The first-place prize isn't spirit stones!"

Later, Xiao Xianchan is blessed with heavenly destiny. She storms the ninth heaven, exterminates evil, and restores order to the world. As everyone gazes at her in admiration, she laughs heartily: "I'm so freaking cool!"

The cultivators of the Nine Provinces: "...When Daoist Xiao handles things, I just give up hope."

[Bonus Scene]

Xiao Xianchan rescues a delicate, beautiful man. She always thinks he's an upright and kind-hearted person, until one day other cultivators recognize him: "Y-You aren't that man who massacred the Yuan clan and slaughtered three sects and one school?"

Xiao Xianchan looks at Xie Wujie: You were acting this whole time?

Xie Wujie very casually tumbles into her arms and coughs. "Ah, it's so cold~"

*

1. My own take on cultivation. Although a System appears in the first chapter, this is not a System novel.

2. The heroine becomes invincible while trying to keep a low profile; the male lead is sweet on the outside and dark within, but the heroine has him completely under her thumb.

3. Not just a silly comedy, there is a main plot.

4. Cultivation ranks: Qi Refining, Foundation Establishment, Golden Core, Nascent Soul, Spirit Transformation, Tribulation Transcendence, Ascension.

[Coming Soon]

1. Xianxia: The Black Lotus Master Guides Me in Winning Him Over

[The music cultivator heroine, seemingly infatuated but actually clear-headed] x [The aloof Dao Monarch, seemingly rational but actually a control freak]

[Synopsis]

Luo Yin transmigrates into a xianxia novel as the vicious supporting female character. Because she's in love with the male lead, the senior brother, she relentlessly frames the heroine and does all manner of evil.

Under the System's threat, "If you don't follow the plot, you'll die," Luo Yin diligently follows the storyline.

The System tells Luo Yin to speak in a coy, manipulative way.

Luo Yin says aloud: "Boo-hoo, Senior Brother, give me a hug."

She thinks: That bastard's muscles look amazing. A grown woman needs to admire this stuff to have the strength to make a living.

The System tells Luo Yin to wash her hands and make soup.

Luo Yin says aloud: "Boo-hoo, Senior Brother, I burned my hands."

She thinks: Good thing I bought ready-made food down the mountain and told the shop not to make it look too nice. I'm such a clever girl.

The System tells Luo Yin to play a love song.

Luo Yin blows a suona horn: "Boo-hoo, Senior Brother, this song expresses my heart."

She thinks: Is there any music in the world more moving and tear-jerking than a funeral dirge?

The senior brother's character is very strange. Sometimes Luo Yin feels like he wants to kill her, and sometimes she thinks he might have fallen for her. It's so bizarre. Luo Yin hopes to finish the plot as soon as possible.

At last, the plot reaches the moment when she's supposed to be exposed after drugging the senior brother, bringing the supporting female character's story to an end. But Luo Yin suddenly realizes she's been trying to win over the wrong person!

The person she's been following the System's instructions to pursue all this time isn't the original male lead, the senior brother, but her master, Yun Guhong, the original novel's villainous big boss who nearly wiped out the protagonists!

As she realizes the truth, the hand holding the drug trembles.

Luo Yin decides to stop courting disaster, but the voices of the System and her master sound at the same time: "If you aren't drugging me, who are you planning to drug?"

Good grief! It turns out that the "System" that's been guiding her to win over "Senior Brother" all these years is her master himself!

Yun Guhong saw a prophecy.

In the vision, he held a woman's corpse and wept bitterly, grieving until he was nothing but skin and bones. Later, demonic thoughts corrupted his Dao heart, and his cultivation fell all the way back to the beginning.

He sneered. So this was the final trial of the Heartless Dao. He didn't believe he would go mad over love, and decided to take control of the situation.

Yun Guhong crushed the so-called System and personally manipulated Luo Yin's actions. Hearing her real thoughts with his own ears, he was certain he would never fall for her.

Theme: A truly great person never loses their childlike heart.