I, the Emperor, Am Really Not into Men

[Scheming, powerful minister top x irresistible beauty of an emperor bottom // older top]

On the day of his enthronement, Xie Tong took a nap in the Golden Throne Hall and dreamed that he was a character in a book.

The good news: In this book, he devotes himself to his work, governs diligently and looks after the people, roots out petty villains and corrupt ministers, and finally unifies the realm and achieves greatness.

The bad news: The book is so popular that readers have paired him with countless men. Every pairing has millions of explicit fanfics, and Xie Tong is abused and loved in every conceivable way in all kinds of fanfiction. He never even gets to keep his underwear on.

The even worse news: He's about to enter a fanfiction storyline that combines multiple pairings, where they'll devour him whole.

Xie Tong: !

How dare they?

*

After waking up, Xie Tong looks at the chancellor, the Minister of Justice, and the leader of the Imperial Guard, who have come to pay their respects. Recalling what he saw in his dream, his face turns ashen and he snaps, "Get out!"

The people below look up at him, their eyes full of meaning.

Xie Tong: ...

Life gradually starts following the path foretold in his dream. Unable to endure the constant harassment, Xie Tong has no choice but to turn to his archenemy.

Wen Duan, the Imperial Tutor, is the only man the readers haven't paired with him.

According to the readers, there isn't a hint of chemistry between them in the story.

As the emperor's tutor, Wen Duan is cold-blooded and has held sole power for years. He's the story's greatest corrupt minister and villain, destined to stand in the way of Xie Tong's path to becoming a wise emperor for the ages, and to serve as his stepping stone.

To break the curse of the fanfiction, Xie Tong secretly approaches Wen Duan, hoping to use him to escape everyone else's unwanted attention.

After a while, the plan works wonders. The emperor's life seems to return to normal, and everything is thriving.

Except... Wen Duan's gaze grows deeper, darker, and more inscrutable by the day.

*

After bearing a blood feud for more than a decade, at the peak of power, there is only one person he cannot have, and does not dare to want. He thought this love would eventually be buried underground, until one day Wen Duan heard that person say:

"Imperial Tutor, everyone around me is into men these days. You're the only upright man I know. Would you discuss a solution with me so I can escape their advances?"

Wen Duan: "...Does Your Majesty truly mean that?"

Synopsis of an upcoming story

The three chapters of My Enemy Nation's Hostage Is Carrying My Child are already written! If you're interested, add it to your collection! ↓

Ning Xu, a grad student, dies suddenly and transmigrates into a melodramatic boys' love novel his junior adores. He becomes the newly enthroned, useless beauty emperor of the Great Zhao Dynasty, who shares his name.

In the book, he's not only useless, but also cruel, lecherous, and debauched. He once forced the defeated enemy nation to send its seventh prince as a hostage, and came up with one humiliating method after another.

The moment Ning Xu opens his eyes, he finds himself standing in front of a bed draped in red silk. A young man is bound to it, his thin lips tightly pressed together, his hair damp with sweat, a flush spreading across his jade-white face. His dark eyes suddenly lift, and he says in a hoarse voice:

"You dog of an emperor, one day I'll kill you!"

Ning Xu, whose body is also feeling uncomfortable, thinks for a moment, then simply throws himself on top of him. "Then kill me now!"

*

The next morning, Ning Xu wakes up with an aching back, sore waist, and a stomachache. He broods over why, when he was clearly the one on top, he ended up being pinned down after his hands and feet went weak.

Ning Xu's temper flares, so he takes up his vermilion brush and appoints Duan Yan, the enemy nation's hostage who shared his bed last night, as a consort, sending him to live in the harem.

A few days later, while Ning Xu is buried in memorials, a palace attendant reports, "Your Majesty, Consort Duan's legs are hurting badly. Please go see him!"

A few days after that, while Ning Xu is arguing furiously with his ministers, another attendant reports, "Your Majesty, Consort Duan is cold in this snowy weather. Please go see him!"

A few more days later, Ning Xu tries to leave the palace to hunt and clear his head. An attendant reports again, "Your Majesty, Consort Duan has food poisoning. You really must go see him this time!"

Ning Xu is furious. Every time he goes to see him, his back hurts for a whole day. That Duan fellow is clearly up to no good, and this is beyond the pale! Guards, send him to the Cold Palace!

Many days later, an attendant rushes in with another report. "Your Majesty, Consort Duan..."

Ning Xu: "I'm not going!"

"Consort Duan has escaped the palace!!!"

Ning Xu: "...?"

*

The history books record that on the day the seventh prince of Yan returned home, the people cheered and lined the roads to welcome him. Three months later, Duan Yan gathered his forces, broke through the enemy capital's gates, and united ten thousand miles of territory.

The deposed emperor, Ning Xu, fled the palace and disappeared without a trace.

The new emperor was furious and ordered a nationwide manhunt, no matter the cost.

Notices were posted all over the city. While soldiers carefully searched the streets, Ning Xu hid in a shabby little shack, clutching his ever-growing belly, his clothes disheveled as he wept in despair:

"Sob... Getting executed would be bad enough, but why didn't anyone tell me this was an mpreg story?!"

Theme: Have the courage to break free from the cage of fate.