[Western Crossover] Don't Pick Up Robin in the Arctic

1 Bruce Wayne finds an alien superpowered being in the Arctic who knows absolutely nothing about human conventions. After watching him cautiously for a while, Bruce decides to help the earnest young man fit into human society. Step one: teach him not to use his X-ray vision to watch Bruce around the clock. 2 One day, Clark happily flies to Wayne Manor. "Bruce!" He holds up a red-and-blue Robin uniform modified from a Kryptonian suit. The blue scaled shorts, with an S emblem in the middle, are especially eye-catching. "Can I be your Robin?" Bruce freezes on the spot. Behind him, Damian stares at the red-and-blue creature in confusion. "...I know you like black hair and blue eyes, Father. But isn't twenty already too old?" 3 Later, Clark makes an online friend. "There's someone I really love," he tells his online friend sadly. "But that person has a lot of excellent suitors. One is a capable police officer with a great butt who does gymnastics, one is a cool, unruly gang boss who rides a motorcycle, and one is a business genius who can help him run his company. Oh, he also has a biological son, and I don't think his son likes me very much." Captain America, who has only just learned to use a phone: Huh? Do you modern people really take things this far? TIPS: This is a silly comedy. This time it's younger Superman and older Batman. Age-gap warning, but it's not a grooming story, since Superman is already an adult when they meet. I don't think anyone will misunderstand, but just to be clear, the events in the blurb are entirely in Superman's imagination. There is absolutely nothing involving Dick and Batman. (Pay attention to this!) Theme: Pure silly comedy (hands cupping cheeks).