My Dead White Moonlight Has Been Unearthed

The great villain Jiang Xi has been unearthed! His resurrection package includes one charred corpse and a System for charming everyone.

Charming everyone? Let's take stock of his achievements: he angered the late emperor to death, became a bandit, rigged the imperial exams, formed factions for personal gain, manipulated power, and betrayed his country to the enemy. He's thoroughly hated by everyone. Is there any chance he can charm them all? Still, he dared to give it another try in this life. Unfortunately, he was arrested, thrown into prison, and brought to the execution platform.

Just as the blade was about to fall, an imperial decree from the emperor pardoned him, but at a price. The emperor wanted him to infiltrate the prince's estate and ruin Xiao Qian, the imperial hero who now wielded enough power to threaten the throne and was renowned throughout the realm.

The emperor's throne had originally been intended for Xiao Qian. Rumor had it that Xiao Qian had fallen for his beauty, and that the late emperor, furious at his lack of ambition, had stripped him of his title before passing away and given the throne to the third prince instead. And so Xiao Qian became a prince.

What kind of ridiculous gossip was that?

The emperor said, "A hero and a villain who cling to each other all day are bound to ruin their reputations. Go and ruin his!"

Hah. The same old story of brothers turning against each other.

Jiang Xi had always looked down on such underhanded tactics, but to keep his head, he obediently became the emperor's henchman, infiltrated the prince's estate, and launched Operation Ruin the Prince.

Who knew that the innocent, harmless crown prince, once a head shorter than him, would grow into a gorgeous man with eight-pack abs and a slim waist, handsome enough to outshine Pan An himself, and launch Operation Capture the Villain against him?

Huh? Nobody mentioned this perk before he got here! He's no self-controlled gentleman.

After a few events that are hard to describe, Jiang Xi, the Great Qi's Number One Villain, was successfully reformed!

Three years later, the emperor checked on his assignment. "Did you ruin Xiao Qian?"

Jiang Xi replied timidly, "He wasn't ruined. I was rehabilitated."

The emperor nodded with satisfaction. "You've worked hard, sister-in-law."

What? So the real reason the emperor sent him to the prince's estate was to deliver him as a gift?

Damn! Those brothers really know how to get kinky and dirty.

[Reading Guide]

① A master of secret identities, a play-the-pig-to-eat-the-tiger, drama-loving beauty gong (Xiao Qian) × a fiercely protective, healing white moonlight shou (Jiang Xi). Both are crafty old schemers. Each thinks the other is a delicate darling who can't lift a hand or carry a load, but in reality, both are ruthless killers.

② 1v1, younger gong, mutual pampering, happy ending. Even if the king of heaven himself shows up, it's still 1v1. The romance is simple: it's only a matter of when they realize their feelings. After all, meeting someone too dazzling when you're young can ruin you for life. A lively, playful tone. When it's not bitter, it's sweet.

---- Blurb for the upcoming novel: Livestreaming an Assassination of a Trope-Breaking Gong-Controlled Novelist ----

Zhuang Youyu is a sister-obsessed guy. On his twentieth birthday, he confessed to the older sister he'd secretly loved for ages, but she turned him down because she'd just started reading a danmei novel by a female author on Jinjiang titled Thirty-Six Ways to Win Over Your Master.

His sister's eyes lit up as she said, "A novelist who can write such beautiful stories must be a sunny, cheerful girl full of love."

He went home and cried for three days. On the fourth day, he turned dark.

So you like danmei authors? You like aloof masters? You like gay men?

Zhuang Youyu flew into a rage, opened Jinjiang Literature City, and became a dark danmei author.

Pen name: Deep-Sea Badass

New novel: Seventy-Two Ways to Eat Your Master

The novel unexpectedly became a hit. He sent it to his sister, then took a sharp turn and wrote the master as a pathetic shou groveling to a scummy gong, destroying everything beautiful and enraging the novel's danmei-loving readers.

: Damn, is the author antisocial or something? What kind of stupid crap is this!

: The master is wildly out of character. The author is just disgusting!

: I don't want to insult the author. I'm afraid it'll get him off.

The readers got so furious they were practically steaming, and he loved it. He wrote with even more gusto. In the latest chapter he'd saved as a draft, the master was drugged with a love curse and humiliated for three days and three nights by his wicked disciple on their wedding night.

The chapter was scheduled to go live in the middle of the night. The next day, Zhuang Youyu woke up and checked the story, only to find that the content had changed. Now the master stabbed his disciple to death and drenched the bridal chamber in blood!

"Which bastard logged into my account and changed my story!"

But it didn't matter. There were countless ways to torment the master. He could just bring the disciple back to life. He was about to write the master being brutally violated by his resurrected disciple when a chilling sword suddenly pressed against his neck.

"Go ahead and write it."

Zhuang Youyu shuddered in fright and turned his head. A handsome man in ancient robes stood there, ethereal as an immortal and murderous as could be.

"You? Are you the... the master?!"

Clang, crash. The master beat him black and blue, leaving him sprawled on the ground, unable to get up.

After that, the novel updated automatically every day, chronicling his life as the master's terrified slave. Readers hailed it as a satisfying power fantasy, and its bookmarks shot past one hundred thousand!

Zhuang Youyu was on the verge of tears. But then he thought of an incredibly effective way to get back at the master. After all, the author created the characters on the page. He would sell the master off to Haitang.

After they had spent some time together, the master learned how to use the internet and accidentally came across Zhuang Youyu's secret plan to sell him off. The story itself hadn't been written yet, but the wicked blurb said it all...

Good. Very good.

The next day, Zhuang Youyu climbed out of the master's bed, rubbing his sore waist and crying, then opened Jinjiang and found a private message waiting for him.

Your work Seventy-Two Ways to Eat Your Master, Chapter 100, has been flagged for suspected rule violations. Please review and revise the chapter in accordance with the examples and the site's content standards.

Thirty thousand words, censored.

Wait, who put his name in the shou role?!

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Zhuang's dad and mom: "We absolutely won't accept the two of you being together. What future could you have? Reproduction is the core of human civilization's continuity and development!"

The master: "I'm pregnant."

Zhuang's dad: ?

Zhuang's mom: ??

Zhuang Youyu: ???

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[1] A devious, vengeful, money-grubbing shou × an even more devious, petty, never-takes-a-loss, hypocritical, aloof, frail, beautiful master gong

[2] The gong gives birth. The cultivation world has special techniques for laying eggs, so avoid this if it bothers you.

Added 2024.12.16

Those who love others are loved in return. Those who sell others off will themselves be sold off.

Theme: Working together to build a beautiful home.