Live-Streaming the Assassination of a Twisted, Possessive Novelist

Zhuang Youyu is obsessed with his older sister. On his twentieth birthday, he confesses to the sister he's had a crush on for years, only to be rejected because she has just fallen for a female author of danmei on Jinjiang, whose book is titled Thirty-Six Ways to Win Over Your Master.

His sister's eyes sparkle as she says, "Any novelist who can write such a beautiful story must be a sunny, cheerful girl full of love."

He goes home and cries for three days. On the fourth, he turns dark.

So you like danmei authors, do you? You like aloof masters, do you? You like gay men, do you?

Zhuang Youyu furiously signs up for Jinjiang Literature City and becomes a dark danmei author.

Pen name: Deep Sea Sangbiao

New story: Seventy-Two Ways to Eat Your Master

He never expects the novel to become a hit. He sends it to his sister, then takes a sharp turn in his writing, turning the master into a pathetic shou who grovels at the feet of a scummy gong, destroying everything beautiful and infuriating the readers who love danmei.

: Damn, is the author a sociopath? What kind of stupid crap is this!

: The master is so OOC. The author's just being disgusting!

: I don't want to insult the author. I'm afraid it'll make him happy.

The readers get so furious they see red, and it really does make him happy. He writes with even more gusto. The latest chapter he's drafted has the master drugged with a love spell, then humiliated by his evil disciple for three days and nights on their wedding night.

The chapter is scheduled to publish at midnight. The next morning, Zhuang Youyu checks it and discovers the content has changed. It now says the master stabbed his disciple to death and drenched the bridal chamber in blood!

"Which bastard logged into my account and changed the story?!"

But it doesn't matter. There are countless ways to torment the master. He can just bring the disciple back to life. He's about to write the master being mercilessly [redacted] by his resurrected disciple when a sword radiating cold suddenly appears at his throat.

"Go on, write it."

Zhuang Youyu shudders in fright and turns around to see a handsome man in ancient robes, floating with immortal grace and radiating murderous intent.

"You? Are you the... the master?!"

Clang, crash! The master gives him a sound beating, leaving him sprawled on the ground, unable to get up.

From then on, the novel updates automatically every day, telling the story of Zhuang Youyu nervously serving the master as a slave. Readers rave about the satisfying story, and its followers shoot past a hundred thousand!

Zhuang Youyu could cry, but then he thinks of an unbelievably good way to get back at the master. After all, authors are the creators of their fictional characters. He's going to sell the master off to Haitang.

After they spend some time together, the master learns how to use the internet and accidentally finds Zhuang Youyu's little secret: he's planning to sell him off. The chapter hasn't been written yet, but the vicious blurb says it all...

Good. Very good.

The next day, Zhuang Youyu climbs out of the master's bed, crying and rubbing his sore waist. He opens Jinjiang and finds a private message.

Your work, Seventy-Two Ways to Eat Your Master, Chapter 100, has been flagged for potentially violating content rules. Please review and revise the chapter according to the examples and the site's content guidelines.

Thirty thousand words, censored.

Wait, who put his name in the shou slot?!

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Zhuang's dad and mom: "We will never agree to you two being together. What kind of future would that be? Procreation is the key to the continuation and development of human civilization!"

The master: "I'm pregnant."

Zhuang's dad: ?

Zhuang's mom: ??

Zhuang Youyu: ???

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[1] A shou who's full of schemes, vindictive, and obsessed with money x a gong who is even more scheming, counts every penny, never takes a loss, and is a seemingly kind, aloof, sickly beauty of a master

[2] The gong gives birth. The cultivation world has special techniques for laying eggs, so don't read if that's a hard no for you.

Added on 2024.12.16

Those who love others will be loved in return; those who sell others off will be sold off in return.

Theme: Learn to love.