[Genshin Impact] I'm an Assassin, Not a Goofball

When Li Li was four, a candy from a human trafficker lured her out of Liyue. The very next second, a System hit her and brought her into its system space, where she underwent thirteen years of closed-door assassin training. When Li Li turned seventeen, System 7418 said solemnly, "Kiddo, Daddy's leaving. This is your assassin score. Once it fills up, you can claim the ultimate gift Daddy left for you!" Li Li thought she could easily achieve that by completing enough assassin missions. So, she heard that someone wanted the Gnoses from all the nations? Not long after infiltrating Mondstadt, a drunkard talked her into drinking. Once drunk, she went on a rampage beneath the gigantic statue of the Anemo Archon, dancing wildly and taking her clothes off. When she sobered up, she fled overnight. She hadn't managed to assassinate anyone, but her assassin score had gone up. Her theory was right, but Mondstadt was off-limits now. She had to save face. In Liyue, she met a kindhearted, generous tour guide who knew a lot. He gave her whatever she wanted and agreed to any reasonable request, which left Li Li in a real dilemma. Because assassins don't need feelings! Once again, while they were out shopping and the tour guide was buying her things, Li Li said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Tour Guide. Please don't waste your time on me. I can't return your feelings." The tour guide furrowed his brow. "I think...you might have gotten the wrong idea?" So he really was just kindhearted and generous? She'd heard that this tour guide had a great reputation in Liyue... Li Li, who might as well have shouted "I'm a clown" in the middle of the street: "...!" She couldn't stay in Liyue either. Maybe she should go to distant Inazuma. Li Li took a long, hard look at herself and decided not to get too close to the locals. She applied to be a guard for the Kamisato Clan, thinking she'd take a roundabout approach, but then... The Kamisato Clan's housekeeper: "What are you holding? I'm asking you, what are you holding?!!" "Obviously, it's a pair of boxers." "Whose are they?!!" "Judging by the fabric and size, they definitely belong to the head of the household." Li Li even unfolded and shook them out so the other person could get a better look. "Why are they in your hands?!!" For the first time in her life, Li Li felt so wronged. "Someone must be framing me!" It wasn't until she got in touch with the System again that 7418, looking away guiltily, responded to Li Li's complaints. "Kiddo, how about Daddy does a little magic trick for you?" Afterward, Li Li watched with her own eyes as the word "assassin" in her assassin score changed to "clown." Li Li: ...! Over a decade ago, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor received a job after an unknown villain murdered an entire family, leaving only a four-year-old child hidden in an underground secret room. The child was as adorable as a snow-white jade doll. The old director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor asked Zhongli, one of its consultants, to look after the child. Zhongli gladly agreed, but failed to notice how frightened and clingy the child was. When he returned after preparing a meal, the child had vanished. Not even digging three feet underground helped him find her. Then, one day, thirteen years later... "Young friend, would you happen to need a tour guide?" Reader's note: 1. A silly, sweet story, with a doting ensemble cast. Zhongli pairing. 2. There will be out-of-character behavior and original additions. 3. Enjoy reading, everyone! Theme: As long as you're happy.