[You teeter on the brink of death. You’re introverted, timid, and as ordinary as a mouse.]
[You’re useless.]
A king oyster mushroom said to Feng Budian.
Feng Budian: … 6
How could a mushroom talk?
So he promptly stir-fried it and enjoyed a nice extra meal.
But the next day, the world was different.
Brilliant colors twisted now and then, and eyeballs grew in the sky.
His evil neighbor, missing half his head, cursed as he piled lumps of flesh outside Feng Budian’s door.
The dumbass customer had turned into a giant rat, squeaking threats to file a complaint.
…
Even Feng Budian himself had lost his head. A mushroom now grew from his neck.
The world had gone mad
Actually, no.
Because even with his boss’s head clanging like a bell, he still kept saying:
“, The day after tomorrow! I’ll pay you the day after tomorrow.”
He hadn’t paid him in six months!!!!!!!!
Feng Budian knew it!
Nothing could save this damn world!!!
Feng Budian had had enough. He grabbed a knife and charged out of his home. He was going to save the world.
But just outside, he ran into a flower in a wedding dress… knocking on his door and claiming to be his wife.
Feng Budian sized up the “person” before him:
A pink head shaped like a three-petaled flower, eyes all over its petals, calling him “hubby” in a saccharine voice
The mushroom cap’s Adam’s apple bobbed slightly.
Damn, kind of cute.
.
Feng Budian’s “wife” was a real sweetheart:
He hummed as he cleaned the house until it sparkled, and served up delicious “love” lunches that lowered your sanity.
Feng Budian adored his wife, but there was one problem:
His wife was far too timid and fragile.
So, to keep from frightening him, Feng Budian hid behind his back the knife he’d just used to butcher his boss.
He wanted his wife to see his elegant, gentlemanly side.
He failed to notice his wife secretly wiping the blood from his skirt, too.
·
Shen Jing was human, but a dungeon game had transformed him into an NPC.
His mind was blank. He only remembered that he had to be a gentle, lovable wife who devoted himself to caring for his husband.
Anything that made his husband unhappy had to be killed! Torn apart! Its head bitten off!
But be careful, don’t let your husband find out.
So be sweet, delicate, virtuous, and perfect.
Later, as he snuggled in his husband’s arms and fell asleep, he remembered he had once been a player:
Escape Sin City, find its master, and kill Them.
But the only ones left in this city were him and… his dear husband?
Also known as My Big Flower-Headed Wife, Guess Who’s the Monster, and After Working Myself to the Bone, I Want to Destroy the World
PS:
1. Top, dual virgins, written in a fit of madness. Nobody in this story is human.
2. The bottom is completely bonkers, thinks of nothing but being a wife, and cross-dresses.
3. This is set in the same world as the completed novel Who Exactly Got the Tentacle Monster Pregnant?
Theme: Either you explode in silence, or you die in silence.
