Why Are You Chopping Up My Fish Head? [Infinite]

I’m terrible at writing blurbs, so please bear with me.

[My next novel, All-Attribute Glitch, is coming soon. Please add it to your collection! The advance blurb is at the very bottom.]

-- Blurb --

[Two-personality, airheaded beauty with a steadily growing combat prowess, bottom] VS [Scheming, devoted-to-his-wife powerhouse, top]

There is a type of BOSS whose settings are useless, whose abilities are useless, and whose main purpose is to get players to spend money. These BOSSes are commonly known as pretty faces: aside from their astonishing beauty, they are good for nothing.

Then one day, higher-dimensional beings invaded, the program was tampered with, and the entire human world became closely integrated with the game world.

The good news: the stats of all the cannon-fodder BOSSes got boosted.

The bad news: players could die, and actually stay dead.

In the midst of this chaos, the only one left isolated was Yu Yu, who had long been rated the dungeon's strongest pretty-face BOSS.

The NPCs bullied him, tying him up as bait to lure in players.

The players went straight for him without even listening to a word he said, and he was gone.

Even the System picked on him. While everyone's stats were boosted, all of his stats were nerfed across the board.

Even the charm stat he was so proud of was reduced by 0.01 points.

Yu Yu: "Why?!" Damn System, give me back the one thing I have going for me!

He was so pathetically weak that everyone was outraged. His resurrection cooldown kept stacking up, and by the time he met Shen Yuan, it had reached 72 hours.

Yu Yu didn't have much against players. He was a kind fish, so he wanted to save them.

But he couldn't make it too obvious. Lying in a wired-up bathtub, all he could do was thrash his tail and whimper a couple of times, urging the player to get out of there.

But that player, who looked even more like a pretty-face BOSS than he did, held a spatula. Expressionless, he chopped off the head of a fish-headed, human-bodied monster, then nodded toward Yu Yu. "Dinner tonight: fish head with chopped chili."

Yu Yu: ???? Wait, are you crazy? Why are you chopping up my fish head?

Shen Yuan: Because it's delicious.

Yu Yu: ...What the hell do you mean, delicious?!

The game became reality, and humanity was trapped. Dungeon NPCs collectively defied the natural order, going on murderous rampages with their directives as an excuse.

Here, humans were ants and NPCs were executioners. Only Yu Yu swam between the two sides.

The System classified him as being in a party with players.

Standing against his former colleagues, he fell silent again and again, even beginning to wonder what kind of being he really was.

Then one day, he met a man who strode through the dungeon with a spatula in hand.

The man looked cold and indifferent. Blood dripped from the spatula in his hand, but the look in his eyes was strangely familiar.

Yu Yu: ...

"Relax. As long as what you say is true, fish head with chopped chili won't be on tonight's menu."

Yu Yu: ...Wait, man, you're going to make chopped-chili fish head out of a human-headed fish, too?

-- Advance Blurb --

After waking from a coma, Yu Zhou discovered he was trapped in a brand-new world.

Almost everyone was racking their brains and fighting for survival, but Yu Zhou picked up a kid right from the start and even strolled around with him in full view of the monsters.

Bystander 1: ...What?! Is this guy showing off? He's out here shopping with a kid!

Bystander 2: Gotta say, this show-off is damn good-looking...

The monsters, forced to watch a parenting show in the dungeon, were all dumbfounded. Realizing that Yu Zhou's behavior was an insult to them, they flew into a helpless rage, all flexing their muscles in an attempt to salvage some nonexistent... dignity in front of the bystanders.

A long-haired, straight-haired slit-mouthed woman holding a brain-smashing hammer.

A muscular man with a severed head crawling with maggots, dragging a giant axe.

A grinning, obese shut-in whose body had exploded, playing with an Ethernet cable.

Without exception, they charged at Yu Zhou with everything they had.

Just as everyone thought Yu Zhou was doomed, the dungeon monsters that had been baring their fangs and brandishing their claws were slapped one after another by Yu Zhou, right in front of everyone.

The dungeon monsters who had been slapped: ...?!!!

Yu Zhou: You scared the baby.

Bystanders: ?! What is this?!! What even is this?!!

Yu Zhou: Hmm... They're even weaker than I expected.

Bystanders: You call that weak?

The terrified people had found their rock. They wailed and flung themselves at Yu Zhou's feet. "Boss! Boss, take me with you!"

Holding the child, Yu Zhou acted as if he hadn't heard them and wandered off through the dungeon again.

As the dungeons grew more difficult, more and more people wanted to team up with Yu Zhou. Lu Xun was one of them.

Unlike the others, who wanted to cling to a powerful ally, Lu Xun joined only because of Yu Zhou himself.

He thought Yu Zhou was gorgeous, and the fact that Yu Zhou could take down a little monster with one punch made him even more interested.

So he asked Yu Zhou, "How do you distribute your attribute points?"

Not understanding what he meant, Yu Zhou held out his hand, palm up, to Lu Xun. "Do you mean this?"

The bystanders who had been planning to copy Yu Zhou's attribute allocation all poked their heads out. One look was enough to leave them stunned.

Wait! Boss, why are all your stats glitched?!!!

Lu Xun: ...Now this is even more interesting.

Reader's Guide

1. A seemingly aloof beauty bottom who's actually a natural airhead with the emotional intelligence of a three-year-old x a seemingly sociable but actually cold and ruthless beauty top. Two powerhouses raising a kid together, and they save each other.

2. The open palm displays everyone's attribute panel. Yu Zhou's stats are all glitched. (The details will be revealed in the story.)

Theme: All nights eventually come to an end.