Madam, Please Behave Yourself (GL)

My next story will be a modern novel, Don't Mess with Someone Who's Pretending to Be Weak!

A clever survivor whose wits backfire x an occult expert who plays dumb to catch the tiger

Married first, love later + chasing the wife to the crematorium + past and present lives. The blurb is below.

I. Blurb:

Shen Juan was born into a powerful aristocratic family. His father was a renowned scholar who rose to the position of Grand Marshal. Unfortunately, Shen Juan was frail and dim-witted, a hopeless case. After failing the examinations twice, his father threatened that he would have to marry if he failed to pass again. In the end, he scraped by with the very last place on the successful candidates list, then volunteered for a position as a local official whom everyone despised.

Yin Yuqing, a celebrated beauty and talent of the capital, had been declared beyond saving by many of the city's finest doctors when she was little. But a wandering mystic saved her. She was also the power behind many businesses in the capital. She was shrewd and counted every coin, yet she was also a compassionate healer willing to spend lavishly to help others.

An unexpected imperial decree arranging their marriage forced the two people who couldn't stand each other to become a couple in name only...

The discovery of an unidentified skeleton brought an old case to light. After that, the two repeatedly found themselves in danger, supporting and protecting each other through every peril. The older one was a masterful flirt who didn't realize she was seducing her partner, while the younger one was a chaste, soft-hearted pushover who could barely resist being teased. As they kept running into each other, their feelings began to grow...

II. Reader's Guide:

1. One true pairing, devoted to each other in body and heart, no cheating, happy ending.

2. Married first, love later, mutual crush, with a little chasing-the-wife-to-the-crematorium drama.

3. Younger, chaste, seemingly submissive partner vs. older, flirtatious, seemingly dominant partner (two-year age gap. Though the story is told mainly from the perspective of the seemingly dominant partner, they switch roles in essence. No male characters with inner lives.)

4. Characters who know the younger partner is a woman refer to her as "she"; those who don't know use "he."

5. The younger partner's true identity is revealed early. The older partner always loves her as a woman.

6. Later on, the heroine becomes an empress and ushers in an era of female rule.

7. The men are all background characters and plot devices.

8. They get a cat and a dog, but no children.

A slow start, then intense emotional push and pull in the middle (90% sweet, 10% angst), followed by a honey-sweet ending.

Up next: Don't Mess with Someone Who's Pretending to Be Weak!, a modern novel!

A modern novel! A wild mix of immortals, humans, and ghosts, set mainly in the modern world.

A clever survivor whose wits backfire x an occult expert who plays dumb to catch the tiger

After a bizarre accident, Yan Zhaotang, a blogger who covers urban legends, becomes a wandering soul.

The good news: she isn't completely dead and may be able to come back to life.

The bad news: she has no sense and has managed to hook an occult expert.

The even worse news: the expert wants to marry her in a ghost wedding.

On their wedding night, the woman lays down three rules. Yan Zhaotang needs her help, so she readily agrees to everything, until she spots the words "dual cultivation." Her ears turn hot. "It's only a marriage of convenience. Do we really have to take things that far?"

"Yes."

"Then... do we have to do it often?"

"No..." The woman pauses, turning her head to cough.

Yan Zhaotang breathes a sigh of relief, secretly pleased that the woman knows she's too frail to handle too much.

But that very night, Yan Zhaotang learns exactly what it means to be one thing on the outside and another within.

Over the next few days, it gets even more outrageous. Yan Zhaotang snaps, "Didn't you say you wouldn't..."

"My throat was itchy. I didn't finish what I was saying." The woman rubs her thumb over Yan Zhaotang's swollen, red lower lip. "Not often. Every day."

*

Everyone in occult circles knows Jiang Bunian is decisive and cold-tempered. So the news of her marriage causes an uproar.

Those in the know privately say that her new wife looks remarkably like someone she knew a thousand years ago.

Yan Zhaotang doesn't think much of it, until one night, while caring for Jiang Bunian, she discovers an old, yellowed portrait hidden under her pillow. The person in it looks seven-tenths like her.

So the rumors are true... This marriage is a mutually beneficial arrangement. Yan Zhaotang thinks she knows where she stands and has never let Jiang Bunian into her heart, yet that night she tosses and turns, unable to sleep.

Before long, the occult world is in an uproar.

The usually aloof and desireless Jiang Bunian posts her first-ever message on Weibo: @Yan Zhaotang's Exploration Diary, meet my wife, whom I worked so hard to win over.

At the same time, she tells the trembling Yan Zhaotang to "relax" while biting her earlobe and whispering, "They still don't believe us, and I can't spare a hand. Would you mind reposting my message, dear wife, and making our relationship official?"

Theme: Girls helping and redeeming one another