Taking Every Read Message the Wrong Way to the End

I revised the text. Titles marked in the notes have been changed. Take your time reading, everyone. Sending love to you all~ Note left on 2/14.

Next up: My Real-Life NPC, blurb below. Please add it to your collection~ (Kisses, kisses, kisses!)

Blurb:

1.

Lin Biezhi transmigrates into an old-school danmei CEO melodrama as a washed-up stand-in, the love interest who's destined to have his kidney cut out and die on the operating table.

As a lawyer, he's careful and practical. But in a novel where no one knows the law, he decides to fight magic with magic.

The lead, Wen Jingshu, can't be bothered to explain his relationship with his first love: "We're just ordinary friends. I'm not close to him."

Lin Biezhi gives a puzzled "Huh?" "I'm not close to him either."

On a couples' reality show, the first love suddenly appears and picks a fight: "He knows I like tangerines, so he bought some just for me."

Lin Biezhi looks confused. "Aren't those oranges?"

Before the kidney transplant, the first love laughs cruelly and confesses: "The truth is, I'm not sick at all. But you won't be making it out of here. So, any last words?"

Lin Biezhi pauses to think. "General anesthesia. I won't do it without general anesthesia, thanks."

Gradually, all his enemies are thrown off, and he even becomes famous because of his bizarre way of thinking?

2.

Wen Jingshu awakens to the fact that his world is actually a novel.

He refuses to accept the life path laid out for him, so he resents Lin Biezhi for pestering him for no reason.

After a baffling argument ends with Lin Biezhi slapping him, Wen Jingshu loses patience. He looks at Lin Biezhi, who has ended up in the hospital, and says coldly, "What exactly are you trying to do?"

He expects Lin Biezhi to drag someone else into it again, but instead Lin Biezhi suddenly backs down. "Actually, there's something wrong with my brain. When it acts up, I could slap any dog that walks by a few times."

Wen Jingshu: "..."

3.

Before they get together, Wen Jingshu thinks the less Lin Biezhi's mouth says, the better.

After they get together, Wen Jingshu thinks Lin Biezhi should use his mouth more, especially at night.

One sleepless night, Wen Jingshu drags the fleeing Lin Biezhi back under the covers. "Where do you think you're going?"

Lin Biezhi's voice is hoarse. "I'm going to the docks to get some throat lozenges."

Wen Jingshu takes out the throat lozenges he prepared earlier. "No need to go to the docks. There's some right by the bed."

Lin Biezhi: "..."

[The cheerful, lively, and actually rather unsociable airhead love interest x the stern, cold, and secretly kinky villainous lead]

*Content notes

1. A light, sweet story. The logic is deliberately loose, so please don't overanalyze it.

2. The side couple gets a crematorium-style redemption arc. They don't take up much of the main story, so subscribe to the bonus chapters only if you want to, everyone. (After you've finished cursing Shen, please don't curse this poor author. My moral compass is excellent, sob.)

3. This is my first novel, so it has plenty of flaws. I'll do better next time.

Blurb for the upcoming My Real-Life NPC:

Ren Ji wakes up in a campus novel from Green River University, where he's become a pathetic simp who won't stop pursuing the handsome lead.

System: "If you want to go back, you have to root out the evil deeds in the story and make this world 100% wholesome and healthy."

Ren Ji protests: "But I'm a Flower City System :-D"

"No sexy stuff, no power, you know."

#Isn't it a little weird to have a Flower City System fight obscenity#

To get back, Ren Ji gives in.

And so, the Flower City System finds a new job at Green River University.

A greasy man at the bar harasses him, saying he wants to devour him whole.

Ren Ji: Dream on.

The scumbag campus heartthrob regrets it and tries to win him back with a manipulative confession, saying he dreams about him every night.

Ren Ji: Hahaha.

The scheming male supporting character makes a snide remark, saying he once caught Ren Ji drugging someone.

Ren Ji: It wasn't a coincidence.

But wait, the one who got drugged was the main villain?

The Flower City System has to charge up with the lead characters' sexy antics.

But everyone knows that if the Green River University leads get frisky, they'll be locked in a black room.

The main villain is the power bank Ren Ji worked so hard to find. One go with him can charge Ren Ji right to 100%!

Ren Ji runs his tongue over his lower lip and projects the evidence of the male supporting character's drugging onto the big screen.

Amid gasps from the crowd, he tosses the antidote bottle into the trash, then stumbles with such obvious intention that he falls into Gu Xunyan's arms.

His cool hand presses against the man's burning chest. He tilts his head back, showing off the perfect curve of his neck, his lashes trembling.

"Whoops, the antidote's gone. You're out of luck ^o^."

So hurry up and charge me, hehehe!

He can't hold in the last couple of giggles, and the so-called NPC seems to switch over to manual control.

*

Gu Xunyan gets bound to a student named Ren Ji.

Ren Ji talks about "signing a contract," like he's asking to be kept, but demands nothing at all. In fact, he keeps pushing Gu Xunyan away.

"He's so cute. How can you not fall for him?"

"What's wrong with having dinner with him? It's not like it'll kill you."

"Seriously, are you even capable of this...?"

At last, on a rainy night, Gu Xunyan traps him between his arms and the floor-to-ceiling window.

"Wait!"

Ren Ji's eyes, their corners slightly red, are reflected in the glass. He pushes the man away.

"When I said wireless charging, I meant you and someone else, "

"I don't know what kind of kink you have," Gu Xunyan says, pinning him in place with one arm, "but I only want to charge with a cable with you."

After that, Gu Xunyan thinks of it as a private joke between them. It isn't until later, when he discovers Ren Ji's secret, that he understands Ren Ji meant charging in the literal, physical sense.

He was just a tool.

Gu Xunyan catches Ren Ji after he finishes his mission and tries to run. He bites his hot earlobe, his expression dark. "Baby, how about I punish you today by making your CPU overheat?"

Weibo: @Jiang Muqing Ye

Theme: The most important thing is to live happily