After word got out that Lin Zixu liked men, his eldest brother, who was only good for throwing money at problems, kicked him off to some godforsaken diploma mill.
Lin Zixu huffed and puffed his way to the school, only to discover that the diploma mill didn't open until September. So he called his eldest brother from a thousand miles away to give him a piece of his mind.
After a stream of censored words, Big Brother Lin gave him a new order: go to the countryside and seek out Fu Xuan, the only son of a family friend, who was undergoing reform there.
When Lin Zixu finally arrived, he found that not only was this place in the middle of nowhere, but its only means of transportation was a stubborn donkey with nostrils bigger than its eyes.
The Fu family's devastatingly handsome young master sat astride the donkey cart, his face cold and his long, straight legs spread apart. “Get on.”
Lin Zixu stared down the donkey, whose temper was even worse than its rider's, for a long while. At last, he climbed aboard the straw-covered cart, less than willingly.
On Lin Zixu's first night in Wanjia Village, a drought demon entered the village. The wails of ten thousand ghosts rang out like thunder, shattering Lin Zixu's rock-solid socialist worldview on the spot.
On his second night in Wanjia Village, Fu Xuan wielded a sword in one hand, its light flashing like a swimming dragon surging through the sea, and led his fellow disciples in a plan to capture the drought demon alive.
Watching the weak, pitiful, helpless “drought demon loli” trapped in the formation, Lin Zixu's compassion got the better of him.
So, to everyone's utter disbelief, Lin Zixu somehow used his family's ancestral yellow talisman to subdue the Corpse Ancestor. From then on, the loli Corpse Ancestor, commander of countless reanimated corpses, obeyed only him.
Fu Xuan, who had been ordered by his master to kill the drought demon: “...”
*
With the spiritual qi revival, the world officially entered the age of cultivation, and the cultivation system opened to the public. Golden Core cultivators began springing up everywhere.
As soon as the announcement came out, the internet erupted in wails:
“Did I get up too early? Did Earth Online enter the age of cultivation while I was asleep? (Crying)”
“Anyone else understand? I had already cultivated a Golden Core, and that quack doctor insisted it was a kidney stone and removed it.”
“What if I just started Qi Refining and someone else is already undergoing tribulation? (Horrified)”
“My heart is dead. I'm already this old and long past the best age to lay my Foundation.”
At the same time, that obscure diploma mill was transformed into a cultivation academy all the students could only dream of attending.
“Sword cultivator graduation requirement: kill your wife to prove your Dao.”
“Don't study alchemy! I graduated and they told me I don't have a medical license!”
“Choosing medicinal cultivation? Are you serious, fellow Daoist? The medicinal cultivators in the next building got arrested for damaging protected plants, and they're still not out.”
“Lightning tempering is effective, sure, but it might fry your soul to a crisp...”
“Three years of tribulation, five years of practice exams.”
“Anyone get it? I graduated as a body cultivator after five years and ended up a security guard. Sign up now and get a five-star general at Country Garden! (Crying)”
“Never mind, I just blew up my mentor's cauldron. My boss told me to pack up and get out right now. (Smile)”
“Anyone else studying sword cultivation? You have to buy a sword that hasn't even been sharpened.”
“Posting anonymously: all the senior sisters in the Hehuan Sect are men!!!”
As the spiritual qi revival unfolded, a conspiracy decades in the making, aimed at stealing China's dragon veins and national fortune, gradually came to light...
The blurb was screen-recorded and screenshotted on January 25, 2024!
Theme: Great power comes with great responsibility
