This Story Is on Hiatus Because the One Next Door Is Better

You can insult me, sure, but do it behind my back. Don't do it here; it won't do you any good.

Gu Liang died on a windless night.

A System popped up: Ding! Host, you have extraordinary talent and an exceptional physique. You have been selected by the [Ultimate Feel-Good Protagonist Fan] System. Please complete the assigned missions!

Gu Liang: But I'm straight. Why are all these targets... Never mind.

Gu Liang: ...Why do I have to dress as a woman?

World One:

System: This is an insect-people setting! Host, guess what kind of character you'll become?

Gu Liang: I get it! It's a feel-good story, so I'll be a female insect, standing at the highest point of identification!

System, aghast: Oh my, Host! You're stunningly beautiful, with delicate features and an elegant figure. How could you possibly be one of those female insects, all of whom are two meters thirty tall and built like musclebound brutes? Besides, female insects already hold military, economic, and cultural power, and vastly outnumber the males. You should be a male insect!

Gu Liang: Then what am I supposed to do?

System: Help the male insects recognize their own strength and claim the rights they deserve! Don't you think the much rarer male insects are the ones who need equality most?

Gu Liang: Isn't that... Never mind. Fine! These male insects are handsome, and they know how to talk. I'll do it!

World Two:

System: Congratulations, Host! You completed your first world's mission! The second world is an ABO setting. Guess what kind of character you'll become?

Gu Liang: Omegas are pretty, and I'm an omega. This time I got it right, didn't I?

The System was aghast again: Oh my, Host! This is the [Ultimate Feel-Good Protagonist Fan] System. As someone chosen by the System, of course you'll be a mighty, imposing alpha with a touch of elegance!

Gu Liang: ...But surrounded by these alphas who dote on their spouses and these aloof, fragile omegas, why do I feel like I'm at the very bottom of the food chain? With this little body, how could I be an alpha? Whatever, I'll just finish the mission...

System: Host, are you sure there isn't anyone you want to pursue? An alpha would be fine too! Look, they're already fighting over you!

Gu Liang: Bye-bye! I'm straight!

World Three:

System: Host, this is a post-apocalyptic zombie world! You'll be playing the cannon-fodder shou in a novel, a beautiful, delicate, scheming little flower who clings to others for support. The original gong and shou are both here. Just play your cannon-fodder role obediently, and you'll clear the world!

Gu Liang: I'm a top, but great, I can finally lie flat... Get me in there!

In a zombie apocalypse, resources were scarce, supply chains had broken down, and poor management had caused chaos. The main couple were busy loving and fighting each other.

Gu Liang: ...Are you two capable of handling this or not? If not, I'll do it. You're both so useless. Go on, get back to your romance. I'll manage the gang!

...And then he became the gang's boss.

Gu Liang, who'd been planning to lie flat while playing the role of a clingy little flower sweetheart: Is something not quite right here...?

"I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy. "

- Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World: Gift Edition

Augustine "Og" Mandino II (December 12, 1923 - September 3, 1996)

(Since people in the comments can argue over a single line of copy, I've included the original and its source. Those who care about the details can google it themselves.)

The missions were done, and the show was over.

Just as Gu Liang sat alone in a corner, eating hot pot and watching the stars, marveling that it was finally all over,

people from every world and every role came pouring in, all determined to pick up where they'd left off...

Gu Liang: Bye-bye! The missions are over. I'm done serving you all. I'm out!

System: Darling, did you forget something?

Gu Liang: ?

Gu Liang: Don't come any closer!

Theme: You play the shou. I'm the gong.