What Time Are You Coming Home, With a Daddy Like Me?

Because of outrageous posts on the forums like "Anyone with a dick can be your mom" and "We want a male mom!"

you were forced to bind with the [Male Mom System].

A mature male mom will keep the kids on track as they grow up. The college entrance exam is five years away.

Good news: you're incredibly lucky. A single pull can work miracles, and the free tickets you got from logging in to the System netted you two gold eggs in a ten-pull: Suguru-chan and Satoru-chan.

Bad news: your kids have put their skill points into all the wrong things.

A mature male mom not only needs to be broad-minded enough to put up with naughty kids, but also has to create a warm, comfortable environment for them to grow up in.

[System warning: Your good son, Suguru-chan, has developed questionable taste, and his rebellion level is off the charts! He's about to become a delinquent with weird bangs!]

As a qualified male mom, your ultimate goal is to help your child develop in every way: morally, intellectually, physically, aesthetically, and socially. So you choose:

[A. Cut off his weird bangs]

[B. Kids who act out probably don't have enough homework. Sign him up for ten tutoring classes]

[C. Tell him Daddy loves you and take him to the barber]

[You chose option B. Under your cram-school approach to education, you went bankrupt, but Suguru-chan's deviation score improved dramatically. He'll probably be a promising candidate for the University of Tokyo.]

[System notification: Under your cram-school education, your cub Suguru-chan's rebellion level is too high. He's entered the teenage years that strike fear into every parent.]

[He gave up a full scholarship to top-three school Teikyo and chose to enroll at the nonexistent Tokyo Metropolitan Jujutsu High School.]

[You're now raising Satoru-chan. Choose a development plan.]

[A. Basic plan, costs 120,000 yen per month. The obvious choice for you, struggling to stay above the poverty line. What? A balanced, nutritious diet? Come on, kids from poor families learn to fend for themselves early. If you love your kid, let him experience the harsh realities of society from a young age.]

[B. Standard plan, costs 1,000,000 yen per month. Most parents choose this. Raising kids is like opening a blind box, after all. You should always leave yourself a way out.]

[C. Luxury plan, costs 10,000,000 yen or more per month. No matter how hard life is, don't let the kids suffer. No matter how poor you are, don't skimp on their education! A father's love is as steady as a mountain, a mother's love as vast as the sea. You are the mountain, and you are the sea!]

[System notification: You chose plan A. Your Satoru cub is so hungry that all his basic stats have been cut in half!]

[Kids from poor families learn to fend for themselves early. Satoru-chan rejected the life plan you had prepared for him and chose to join Tokyo Metropolitan Jujutsu High School to earn money and support the family!]

Changchuan Guzumi: ???

Now this is getting interesting.

Reader's guide:

1. The blurb uses second person; the story uses third person.

2. No romantic pairing in the story. It's a chaotic, family-focused child-raising story.

3. Still my own brand of OOC.

Theme: Satoru-chan, Suguru-chan, open up, it's Daddy!