I Have a Scientific Way to Exorcise Evil

Main story complete.

Please add my currently serialized story next door, After the Frail Big Shot Enters an Infinite Game, to your collection.

A malicious fake good person addicted to acting obedient x an outwardly refined, inwardly obsessive, lovesick nonhuman top★

★Come see the epic romance between a modern-day charlatan and a cowardly guy who's terrified of ghosts★

After coming down from the mountain, Xuanmen disciple Yan Yan was forced to become a haunted-house tester to meet his ghost-catching KPI.

While livestreaming his first job, Yan Yan made a mistake and reached into a bathtub with his bare hands, pulled out a ghost, and shoved it in front of the camera.

The livestream immediately went viral. Then a cannon-fodder character deliberately steered public opinion, claiming Yan Yan was a charlatan who would do anything for attention and a pretty face with no talent. The internet was full of insults.

Yan Yan: So I can't promote "feudal superstition," huh?

No problem. I've got scientific, modern ways to catch ghosts.

*

At first, Yan Yan described his livestreams to the public as "immersive paranormal mystery-solving streams."

Rain poured endlessly over an abandoned sanatorium, and the incense sticks he needed to lure out a hungry ghost wouldn't light. The viewers were so worried they were about to send him an umbrella. Yan Yan turned around and lit them with an e-cigarette.

Hungry ghost: That's weird. Let me take another puff.

The haunted house was overflowing with yin energy, and he had to make sure several thousand people living nearby were protected by talismans. Viewers: "Give up. You only have ten minutes. You couldn't draw enough talismans even with eight hands."

Yan Yan simply projected a PDF of an exorcism talisman onto the giant screen in the central plaza. Warm light spread across the whole neighborhood. The viewers were stunned. "You can do that?"

A hundred ghosts poured out of their lair. The viewers thought they were about to see a worldly master battle an evil spirit, but Yan Yan pulled out a 3D-printed Gatling gun packed with peachwood beads and chased after the ghosts, firing a long burst at them.

Viewers: "That's ridiculous, but can I have a go too?"

As the number of livestreams grew and their popularity soared, the viewers belatedly realized:

Yan Yan seemed to be doing all this for real!!!

Viewers: "Thank the internet for letting me watch an immortal livestream! Yanmen!"

Yan Yan sipped goji berry water from his thermos and replied, desperate to stay alive: "I don't have a shred of magical power. It's all modern technology and some seriously wild tricks."

The viewers immediately replied: "Then you're a cyberpunk electronic immortal!"

Yan Yan: "..."

Who still remembered that he had only started this to meet his ghost-catching KPI without getting accused of promoting feudal superstition? That was all.

*

In front of others, Fu Baichuan was a rich kid from a powerful family, proud, unruly, and debauched. But after Yan Yan opened his third eye, and he discovered it could never be closed again, he wrapped himself in a blanket and knocked on Yan Yan's door, swallowing his humiliation.

Fu Baichuan: "Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not scared. I'm just here as your client to supervise your work."

Yan Yan: "..."

On the night of the livestream mishap, someone added him as a contact.

The man called him Master over and over, whimpering as he begged for an exorcism talisman.

Now, half of that talisman was sticking out of the pocket of Fu Baichuan's custom-tailored suit.

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A new kind of metaphysical master bottom who seems easygoing at first glance but becomes unpredictable and ruthless when angered

× A straight-shooting, clingy, scheming girl-type top who suffers for the sake of his pride before he comes around

A cat-and-dog romance written to satisfy my own tastes

Younger top, happy ending

Fu Baichuan is the top, so don't ship them the wrong way!

★Check out my currently serialized story next door, After the Frail Big Shot Enters an Infinite Game★

★Blurb:

[Couple: A very persuasive, flirtatious, hypnotic king who controls the central air conditioning x an obsessive mad dog with an overpowering possessive streak]

When Zhou Rong woke up in the Metamorphosis game, his combat ability was lower than a dog's. When he drew a supernatural ability, he got the worst-quality rusty dagger, whose function was unknown.

Zhou Rong: "..."

I would've been better off staying asleep.

*

Zhou Rong seemed completely out of place among the cruel, violent players.

In other people's eyes, this weak newcomer was naive, obedient, and polite. He always smiled when he spoke to people, and aside from his handsome face, he was a pretty waste of space, useless in every other respect.

In a perilous instance full of lies and deception, people like him usually died first.

But in the first instance, a monster whose combat level far surpassed Zhou Rong's dragged him into its lair. As the other players watched coldly, waiting for the slaughter to begin, Zhou Rong took out the rusty dagger.

Other players: You don't know your own limits.

Zhou Rong didn't attack the monster. Instead, he plunged the dagger into his own chest!

As Zhou Rong's health plummeted, his combat ability soared. He raised a hand and crushed the monster's head!

Other players: ???

The healing items Zhou Rong had frantically stockpiled came in handy.

He became an absurd spectacle in the instance: too weak to care for himself → caught in danger → reduced himself to a sliver of health and bounced all over the instance → gulped down medicine to recover → too weak to care for himself.

Other players: ...

Zhou Rong didn't seem to think there was anything strange about him. He put on his usual approachable expression and issued a recruitment notice:

Young man, do you crave power?

Learn about trading health for damage.

*

The Metamorphosis game has both PvP and PvE modes. You can challenge an instance alone or compete against other players inside one.

Zhou Rong cleared instances while poaching enemy players and building his own team, becoming the uncrowned king of the Metamorphosis game.

When the teammates Zhou Rong had poached were asked why they were willing to risk their lives for him:

All the teammates: We really like the feeling of our health bars dancing. Besides, he treats everyone well, but it's obvious I'm special.

Zhou Rong: (^_^)

#If we're brothers, stab me in this instance#

#Urgently seeking a healer. I can't live like this without one#

*

After a global upheaval, a handful of "Chosen Ones" blessed by the gods enjoyed more than 95% of the wealth in the safe zones. Every inch of land outside them was a slum.

To survive, people scrambled to become players and enter the Metamorphosis game created by the Chosen Ones:

Either die in the game, or successfully "metamorphose" and spend every night in a life of luxury and debauchery.

Zhou Rong stood atop the ruins of countless game instances, having won innumerable victories and crowns. Even the Chosen Ones extended an olive branch to him.

Zhou Rong broke it and plunged it into a Chosen One's chest.

The old gods must die. New gods must rise.

Perhaps everything had already been decided the moment he opened his eyes inside the instance:

He wasn't a passerby. He was the savior.

★A cold, mean fake good person who is addicted to acting obedient x an obsessive, dark, possessive, lovesick official★

Visit my author page and add it to your collection, please, please~

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Thesis: Heal chronic ailments and embrace a brighter tomorrow.