Haggle Like a Lazy Fish, Lie Flat and Become a God

Overnight, the supernatural descended upon the world.

Shi Yinkong woke up one morning with the ability to haggle, and his home had become an S-class contamination zone.

Even more fantastical, he had a neighbor who'd been asleep for ten years and a roommate who was heir to an evil god.

Wasn't he just an ordinary college student?!

·

Unlike the people who awaken supernatural abilities and go on to reach the pinnacle of life, Shi Yinkong has no such lofty ambitions.

Eating well, drinking well, having fun, and seeing his family and friends happy and healthy are all he could ever wish for.

So when the two organizations locked in a bitter struggle both make overtures to him, convinced that he's either the evil god's destined one or its natural enemy...

Shi Yinkong: What are you babbling about? I don't understand.

He shuts his eyes and lies flat.

·

One day, he wakes up to find his roommate gradually turning into someone he can't understand.

Shi Yinkong smacks him away: One less time.

The Lord, forced to lean back: You!

Still the Lord: All right, all right. Please don't ignore me, okay?

[Ultimate lazybones, determined to lie flat, and a master haggler bottom x Evil god top with a severe case of lovesickness who talks himself into being loved]

/This blurb was screenshotted and archived on March 13, 2026./

---Reader's Guide---

*As is customary, 1v1, happy ending.

*The setting is entirely made up, with no real-world basis. Please don't project it onto the real world.

*The top is split into fragments, which will eventually merge. Their personalities differ early on because they woke up at different times, and it takes a while for them to change. After they meet, their memories synchronize, and they eventually become one.

*The bottom has some psychological issues and gradually comes to terms with his trauma with the top's support. (Is that healing? Probably.)

*There's a little Lovecraftian horror, but not much, and only when facing the evil god's true form... The overall setting isn't proper Lovecraftian horror. My own worldbuilding is spreading everywhere. (Fidgets.)

*They officially get together after merging. Before that, most of the intimate moments are initiated by the true form. (P.S. Before they merge, only the top's fragments have unrequited feelings for the bottom. The bottom only returns those feelings after the top becomes whole.)

*Please read civilly. Wishing you all happiness every day~

Coming soon: The Executor Is Actually the Strongest Contamination Entity. Please add it to your reading list! Blurb below:

Contamination invaded, plunging the world into darkness. After years of struggling to survive, humanity finally found its savior.

He retrieved the spark of fire from the abyss, and a faint light appeared in the sky once more.

Amid the cheers of the people, Li Chi declared with a smile:

"I will lead everyone back to a world filled with light."

Passerby A: Executor Li reclaimed another contamination zone today!

Passerby B: Sob, he really... I'm crying so hard... I thought he was just talking, but he actually did it. Will I live to see the day the sky is completely bright again?

Passerby C: Beep beep beep, here's a little insider news! I heard Executor Li got injured on a mission today! It sounds really serious! What do we do?!

Passerby D: After all that's happened, people still sincerely believe he's the savior? I don't know how the Everbright Alliance picked him as chief executor. He wasn't the only one who retrieved the spark.

Passerby E: Holy crap, go check out the Alliance's latest announcement! The spark has been stolen, and the executor has become the strongest contamination entity!

[Everbright Alliance: To everyone who's been waiting for the dawn, we're sorry!]

[Due to a failure of supervision, the Alliance's spark of fire was stolen by former executor Li Chi. Tests have confirmed that the former executor has mutated into an SSS-class contamination entity with a strong desire for revenge. We thank the former executor for his past contributions, but for the sake of humanity's bright future, we will now place Li Chi under arrest. If you encounter a suspicious contamination entity, please contact the Alliance immediately.]

[Please rest assured that the Alliance will do everything in its power to retrieve the spark. Humanity will one day see the dawn break over the ruins.]

Li Chi returned to the Alliance headquarters and calmly wiped the blood from his hands as he left.

The world was once again shrouded in endless darkness.

As the contamination worsened and humanity perished, only Li Chi continued to wander the world, searching for the lost spark of fire.

After an unknown length of time, Li Chi returned to the square where he had been appointed executor.

The splendor was gone. His heart, still as a dead sea, suddenly stirred.

He wanted so badly... to return to the day before everything went wrong.

Drums and gongs rang out as the people celebrated.

Li Chi watched the spirited young man surrounded by the crowd. His face still held the innocent hopefulness he remembered so well.

Then the young man noticed him and took him to the hospital.

The young man asked his name and where he lived.

With his last breath of strength, Li Chi said, "Li Shi. My name is Li Shi."

What happened before would never kill that ignorant version of himself again.

Because he would show no mercy as he killed every person who had ever harmed them.

[Spirited executor bottom x Obsessive, unhinged contamination entity top]

Coming soon: The Universally Hated Man Has Almost No Presence. Please add it to your reading list! Blurb below:

There's an oddball in show business whom almost everyone dislikes, yet nobody can quite remember his name. After years of being insulted, Xie Shanwan decides to give up fighting back, but even his retirement announcement gets only a handful of comments.

Xie Shanwan: That's what having almost no presence is like.

But Xie Shanwan knows that this inexplicable buff only applies when he uses his real name.

He has another identity: cosplayer Qingkong.

Cosplayer Qingkong is a big name in the community. He's incredibly versatile and naturally talented, and even with uploads only once every six months, he's amassed a million followers.

One day, this long-missing creator returned and uploaded three videos in a row, covering breakfast, lunch, and dinner, each with a different flavor.

Fans: Please keep up this posting schedule from now on, okay? Okay.

The next time Xie Shanwan appeared in public under his real name was on a livestream hosted by Shen Wenyang, a rising mukbang streamer on a certain platform.

During the stream, a slender, fair hand appeared on camera, and Shen Wenyang, that dog, even took a bite out of it.

Faced with the chat's frenzied questions, Shen Wenyang gazed at him with deep eyes. It sounded like a confession: He's my one and only cake.

Then Xie Shanwan flicked him hard on the forehead.

Xie Shanwan showed his face on the livestream, looking perfectly natural. "Hello, everyone. I'm Xie Shanwan."

A warm voice, gentle features, and that hand with its long, distinct fingers. The man who had always gone unnoticed unexpectedly became famous after leaving show business.

The trend of looking back at old footage finally reached Xie Shanwan. People watched his variety shows and dramas.

Everyone finally realized how wrong they'd been to think he was slacking. He was clearly hardworking and funny, yet barely got any screen time. Even his acting wasn't bad, but somehow he never drew attention.

The internet connected cosplayer Qingkong with Xie Shanwan on the very day Xie Shanwan and Shen Wenyang announced their relationship.

Comments begging the two to return to show business and delight the public filled the screen, but Xie Shanwan acted as if he hadn't seen them.

He only picked one lucky fan from the comments and sent them a signed item from Qingkong, along with a big box of snacks from some unknown mukbang streamer.

#The MVP Was Actually the Lucky Fan#

#Food for the Mind and Food for the Body, All at Once#

#Wenyang and Qingkong Forever#

Little extra:

Shen Wenyang started doing mukbangs because of Xie Shanwan, too.

That day, Xie Shanwan asked him what he wanted to do.

Shen Wenyang's throat bobbed as he stared straight at him. "Eat... meals."

Xie Shanwan seriously suspected that wasn't what he meant, but still smiled and pointed him in the right direction. "You want to eat? Then become a mukbang streamer."

Shen Wenyang: ?

Theme: Always keep a positive and determined outlook on life.