Cui Cui Wants It, Cui Cui Gets It

(Third-person narration)

My name is Luo Cuicui, the lowliest of the low in the Tiansheng Kingdom.

An heir of the Tianji Sect once read my bones and declared that I was doomed to die a miserable death.

I didn't believe it!

And I survived.

I've done plenty of outrageous things in my life.

Like traveling a thousand miles to the capital to petition the emperor, bringing down a whole pack of powerful, high-ranking people;

Like cursing the Empress Dowager in front of the officials and punching the emperor in the Golden Hall. After that, the emperor of Tiansheng saw me the way a mouse sees a cat.

The greatest swordsman under heaven is my master, the most beautiful woman under heaven is my friend, and the leader of the martial arts world treats me like a sworn brother. My legend is everywhere in the martial world, and children have looked up to me ever since they learned to talk.

But the thing I'm proudest of is that I rose to the immortal throne as a mere mortal and gave everyone a good slap in the face.

I'm a legend in the martial world, a legend on the Central Continent, and a menace to the cultivation world. Cultivators despise me, but they fear me too, because I always expose them for who they really are and use the low-class tricks of a wretch from the bottom of society to beat them until they're bawling for their mothers.

After I ascended, nobody cursed me anymore. They all respectfully called me Immortal Cuicui.

Before I ascended, the most revered big shot in the cultivation world asked me to leave some advice for future cultivators.

I spread my hands. “I want it, I get it.”

The big shot's eyes widened in shock. “It's that simple?”

I replied matter-of-factly, “It's that simple.”

I wanted to eat my fill, and eventually I did.

I wanted to survive, and eventually I outlived many people.

I wanted to become stronger, and eventually I became a legend in the martial world. Whether they were outlaws or orthodox sects, everyone followed my lead.

I wanted to become an immortal, and eventually I ascended. On the day I ascended, the Heavenly Dao sent down nine bolts of divine lightning. Hah, there was even purple lightning, thicker than the Heavenly Dao's own thigh. The Heavenly Dao really went all out trying to subdue a defiant bone like me.

Above the Ninth Heaven, I looked back on my life and suddenly realized that the person I wanted most was someone.

He was the person who had left the deepest mark on my heart, my mentor and my closest friend, and the one I had engraved deep in my soul, the love of my life whom I would never forget.

His name was Xiao Yifeng.

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(Blurb archived on Weibo on August 23, 2026)

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Theme: My fate is mine to decide, not Heaven's