A Ghost Reviewer, but I'm Taking the IELTS

After unexpectedly receiving a cursed death letter, Jian Yi, a staunch materialist and the internet's one and only ghost-review blogger, tossed it straight into a merit box and asked Buddha to deal with it. But soon after, she ran into a bizarre man with flowing sleeves, a high crown, and a handsome, divine face. He claimed to be a celestial lord, and said he'd received the death letter she'd passed on, so he'd come to help her survive her tribulation. Jian Yi naturally didn't believe him. Sure, she was a ghost-review blogger, but she was first and foremost a staunch materialist. His getup was pretty convincing, but he looked so frail that she could beat ten of him with one punch. What was all this nonsense about banishing evil and dispelling spirits? He was obviously a fraud. The second time Jian Yi ran into Guan Rongshu was on her way home from work. Face-blind, she didn't recognize him. When he furtively followed her, she mistook him for a human trafficker. In the name of doing good for the public, she promptly sold Guan Rongshu out. The third time Jian Yi saw Guan Rongshu was at her own home. The moment she opened the door, she found him sitting calmly on the living-room sofa like he owned the place. For a moment, she even wondered if she'd entered the wrong apartment. Guan Rongshu said calmly, "Fear not. I am the Divine Lord of Guanyi. I have come only to help you overcome your tribulation. The people you met the first two times were also me." Jian Yi could only think that fraudsters these days were really persistent. "That was you both times? Sorry, I'm face-blind. All I see are men and women." Seeing that she still didn't understand how serious the death letter was, Guan Rongshu said solemnly, "I only see two kinds of people as well: the living and the dead. Which kind do you think you are?" Jian Yi blinked. "I'm a successor to communism." And so, Jian Yi ended up stuck with him. Guan Rongshu ate her food, lived in her home, and stayed by her side twenty-four hours a day, all in the name of "personal protection." Jian Yi secretly tried to ditch him, but after moving several times without success, she could only resign herself to letting Guan Rongshu follow her around. Gradually, Jian Yi realized that Guan Rongshu seemed to have a cleanliness obsession. So, in hopes of making him leave of his own accord, she seized her chance when he wasn't paying attention and planted a hard kiss on his face. Looking at the conspicuous lipstick mark she'd left behind, Jian Yi was pleased with herself. She waited for Guan Rongshu to fly into a rage and storm out the door. But nothing like that happened. Guan Rongshu simply frowned at his reflection in the mirror for a long while, then pointed to his other cheek. "Give this side a kiss too. For symmetry." Jian Yi: "?" Damn it, he didn't have a cleanliness obsession. He had obsessive-compulsive disorder. Then one day, Jian Yi saw the seemingly helpless Guan Rongshu face an evil creature without the slightest fear. He made a hand seal and called for backup, summoning every goddess and divine lord in the heavens to do his bidding. Jian Yi: "!?" Wait, you were serious? So I'm the clown here? [Reading Guide] 1. The setting here is different from the CET-4 and CET-6 exams. CET-4 is an English version of words becoming law, CET-6 is a knowledge-based Gatling gun, and IELTS is all about summoning with English vocabulary. The focus is on cultivating immortality through IELTS, with boundless magical power. 2. An alternate world, with a mountain of original settings. Everything serves the plot. 3. Not realistic. The Master does not speak of strange forces and spirits. Prosperity, democracy, civility, harmony, freedom, equality, justice, the rule of law, patriotism, dedication, integrity, and friendship. Theme: You think I'm reading a novel? No, I'm actually studying!