The Weird Things All Say I'm a Sneaky One

- A goofy, sweet, feel-good story - Atheist bottom x nonhuman top After graduating from college, Shen Si got a job as a night-shift doctor at a psychiatric hospital. His coworkers and patients were all extremely warm and friendly. They wanted to cuddle Dr. Shen, hug Dr. Shen, and share a dorm room with Dr. Shen. Because Dr. Shen smelled so good! Shen Si sniffed his own arm. He didn't think it smelled good at all. Dr. Shen worked from eight at night until four in the morning. The hospital provided full benefits, free room and board, and a monthly salary of over ten thousand. If a patient recovered and was discharged, he could also earn a performance bonus. ** Patient Number One was a little boy with a fetish. His symptoms were the mildest. And that proved to be true. After Dr. Shen scrubbed clean the rabbit plushie the boy never let out of his hands, then left it under the sun all day, Number One was cured without any medicine. Shen Si never saw him again. Number Two had pica, and was also the patient who gave Shen Si the biggest headache. Not only did he chew on his own fingers, he also tried to chew on Shen Si's, making him an aggressive, high-risk patient. With no other choice, Dr. Shen ordered a whole box of chew toys online and gave them to him. A week later, Patient Number Two sadly discovered that his front teeth had been worn down by half. He even whistled when he spoke. Number Three was lovesick, and the only patient who didn't think Shen Si smelled good. A handsome young master from a powerful family, he was in poor health and often reminded Shen Si to be careful. Meeting Number Three's concerned gaze, Shen Si's heart began to pound. Oh no. Lovesickness wasn't just hard to cure, it was contagious! ** A night-shift doctor named Shen Si had joined Ren'ai Mental Hospital (for spirits and monsters). Dr. Shen had fair skin, a beautiful face, long legs, and a lovely scent that made the spirits and monsters drool: So fragrant. I want to eat him... But a month later... "You know the new Dr. Shen? I saw him put little X out in the sun and roast him alive until he vanished. Oh my god, that scared me half to death!" "That was Dr. Shen? More like Tyrant Shen! I spent hundreds of years growing my hair, and he snipped it off in one go, leaving me with a buzz cut. How am I supposed to scare people now? QAQ..." "Shh, stop talking. What if he hears you and gives you a chew toy? He can grind even the fiercest vengeful ghost into slime!" Shen Si happened to pass by, looking confused. "What are you talking about?" All the ghosts: "We were saying what a wonderful doctor Dr. Shen is!" ** Ji Fuguang appeared to be a frail human, but in truth he stood above all spirits and monsters. Even the most vicious vengeful ghosts were willing to bow before him. But Ji Fuguang had no choice but to pretend to be an ordinary person, because the person he liked was a committed atheist. A little scene: Ji Fuguang: "Dr. Shen, I... have a friend who wants to ask about a psychological problem." Dr. Shen: "...Tell me about the symptoms." Ji Fuguang: "Insomnia. He can't stop thinking about someone. When he's around that person, his heart suddenly races, his face gets hot, and even his livor mortis fades a lot." Dr. Shen: "I've diagnosed him. He's lovesick. He just needs to start a sweet romance with that person... By the way, when was the last time your friend experienced a racing heartbeat?" Ji Fuguang: "Right now :)" #MyYearsAsANightShiftDoctor# #SpiritsAndMonstersLivingInHell# Here's a peek at my next upcoming novel: The Deaf Boy Makes a Pact with an Evil God Shi Tingyu had been sickly and plagued by bad luck since childhood. He was deaf in his right ear, and everyone said he wouldn't live to see ten. When he was ten, Shi Tingyu dreamed that he made a life (marriage) pact with a man whose face he couldn't make out. From then on, the little deaf boy could hear voices from another world with his right ear. ** Shi Tingyu's health improved day by day, but the world before his eyes changed beyond recognition. The sky overhead was no longer blue. The moon became a blood-red eye. The stray dogs by the roadside grew horns and crawled in twisted, ghostly shapes... Whenever night fell, countless black tentacles sprouted from the shadow beneath his feet. Every one of them coiled tightly around Shi Tingyu's calves, arms, and delicate, slender neck. An unfamiliar yet familiar male voice softly called in his ear: Little Fish. ** Ten years later, Shi Tingyu had become the most formidable exorcist in all of Jiangcheng. His ruthless methods struck terror into the hearts of every supernatural creature. Whenever he went on a mission, he carried a spirit tablet with him. It had no name, yet radiated a chilling, sinister aura. No one knew that the youngest and most promising exorcist in the Exorcist Association was always accompanied by a powerful supernatural being. The supernatural beings other people talked about: cold, terrifying, indescribable. The supernatural being in Shi Tingyu's home: impossibly handsome, possessive. ...But not very bright. For example, after watching a nature documentary, it imitated a male peacock fanning its tail feathers, proudly showing Shi Tingyu its 108 thick tentacles, enough to fill almost the entire house. For example, after seeing the neighbor's cat bring its owner a dead mouse as a gift, the next day... A wanted monster, covered in blood and barely clinging to life, appeared beside Shi Tingyu's bed. Shi Tingyu finally snapped. "I'm ending this pact. We're getting divorced!" Rong Shi agreed readily. "Sure. Let's date instead. I'm your boyfriend now." #MyRightEarHearsYouSayYouLoveMe# Upcoming novel two: He Became a Master of Metaphysics After Being Reborn Xu Nanxing was the biological son of the Xu family, but he was despised by everyone because of a supposedly ill-fated destiny. A cruel father and mother, a despicable older brother, a scheming adopted son, a cold childhood friend, and a broken him... Even as he perished in a sea of flames, Xu Nanxing thought, If I could live again, I'd defy fate and change my destiny. Then Xu Nanxing was reborn. After being reborn, Xu Nanxing gained a strange ability: he could see things ordinary people couldn't, otherwise known as ghosts. ** A mysterious streamer appeared on the Douya livestreaming platform. Though young, he understood yin and yang and could discern people's fate, yet he never showed his face. At first, everyone treated the streamer's cryptic act as a joke. But before long... They realized the streamer really knew his stuff! A real estate tycoon was frantic because he couldn't get the main beam installed. After following the streamer's advice, not only did the beam go up, but his long-unsold housing development was snapped up! A famous actor was framed by a rival, fell from grace, and was bullied online, nearly taking his own life. After the streamer saved him, he was not only cleared of the accusations, but his new movie also won an award! The old master of the powerful Huo family in the capital died, but his will went missing, leaving his children at each other's throats. The streamer made a quick calculation and not only found the will, but also uncovered Old Wang next door! The mysterious streamer became famous overnight and went viral. Powerful figures from every corner begged to join the stream and receive the master's guidance. The Douya platform's servers nearly crashed from the overload. Xu Nanxing's parents wanted to find a good husband for their adopted son, so they brought gifts and came in person. But who could explain why the legendary master of metaphysics was their own biological son, Xu Nanxing, whom they had despised? "Nanxing, you're our pride and joy. Mom and Dad will always love you!" Xu Nanxing smiled mockingly. "Too late." When his childhood friend heard the news, he also broke down and begged Xu Nanxing to give him another chance. "Nanxing, I just realized I've always loved you!" Xu Nanxing stared at him coldly. His beautiful, delicate phoenix eyes were utterly indifferent. He turned to the other person in the room and said, "Huo Wen, someone's trying to steal your man." In outsiders' eyes, Huo Wen, the fourth young master of the Huo family, had a disabled left leg and a violent temper. He was an unfeeling king of the underworld through and through. No one knew how tenderly and devotedly he looked when he put a wedding ring on Xu Nanxing's ring finger. P.S. The top's leg will be healed later. He isn't really disabled :) If you're interested, please add it to your favorites. Sending love~ Reading guide: 1. Updates daily at 18:00. If I can't update, I'll post a leave notice. Comments on individual paragraphs are enabled, so come join in (*^▽^*)~ 2. This story is set in a fictional world, and everything is made up. Please don't compare it to real life. No writing advice, and no need to tell me if you drop the story. Sending love~ Theme: No matter how difficult your circumstances are, keep a positive attitude!