I Spoil History with Ancient Poems [Historical Livestream]

★ If you like this story, dear readers, please add the author's collection to your favorites, ovo ★ Next story: "I'm Inviting the Ancients to Take the College Entrance Exam" ★ Upcoming story recommendation: "After Qin Shi Huang Gets Spoiled, I Transmigrate into Li Si" In the first month of the tenth year of Tianbao, Emperor Xuanzong and his consort were celebrating An Lushan's third-day ritual. As everyone laughed and chatted, a sky screen suddenly appeared... [Hello, everyone. Welcome to our series on poems based on real events.] [Today, we're discussing Du Fu's "Spring View." The poem was written during the An Lushan Rebellion. Emperor Xuanzong abandoned the capital and fled west, while Du Fu was taken by the rebels to Chang'an after it fell.] Li Longji: Who is this Xuanzong? How dare he abandon the capital and flee? What a failure! An Lushan: The Sage is diligent in governing and loves his people. He appoints the worthy and the capable. He must be a great ruler of his age. [The "An-Shi" in the An Lushan Rebellion refers to An Lushan and Shi Siming. Both were trusted officials whom Emperor Xuanzong of Tang, Li Longji, held in high regard.] Li Longji: ? An Lushan: ! [Hello, everyone. Today's topic is poems assembled from lines by different poets.] [Using Bai Juyi's line "Heaven and earth may last forever" as an example, let's look at some humorous poems assembled from lines old and new.] Bai Juyi: "Heaven and earth may last forever, but the night of spring is worth a thousand gold"?! Bai Juyi: My poetry has been defiled! My poetry, ahhhhh! Yuan Zhen: Heh heh, I love watching this chaos! [Of course, Yuan Zhen's line "On the verge of death, I start up in bed in shock" is also quite popular...] Yuan Zhen: Wait, no! I'm begging you, don't say it!!! [On the verge of death, I start up in bed in shock, then smile and ask where the visitor came from.] Yuan Zhen: ... Bai Juyi: Hahahaha, who can escape heaven's retribution! He Zhizhang: You're including me too? You're all so nice to me. All poets and lyricists are on high alert! A huge wave of poems assembled from other people's lines is coming your way. If your name comes up, don't panic. Remaking a poem is an act of love too! [Reading tips] 1. Parallel worlds, with multiple eras existing simultaneously and not affecting one another. 2. "Ancient poetry" is used in the broad sense and includes song lyrics and songs. The poems may be slightly adjusted, so please don't scrutinize them too closely. 3. The streamer is just a background character. The romance category was chosen because it involves the ancients' feelings and love poems. ★ Upcoming story: "I'm Inviting the Ancients to Take the Liberal Arts College Entrance Exam" ★ In their dreams, people from ancient times are occasionally pulled into a strange place. The windows are bright and clean, the tables and chairs neatly arranged. And right in front of them lies a pristine... exam paper? [Chinese Exam] Read Yan Shu's "Cai Sang Zi" and answer: What are the reasons the poet's "sweet dreams are often interrupted"? Yan Shu: Didn't I make it perfectly clear? The wild geese were making a racket and keeping me awake! Answer: On the surface, the poet is startled by the cries of the geese, but in truth, he is troubled by the fleeting passage of time and the pain of parting, which leave him miserable and unable to sleep at night. Yan Shu: ...Then what was I actually thinking about that night? [Geography Exam] The map shows the route taken by the Jin army during its invasion of the Huainan region in the tenth year of the Shaoxing era of the Southern Song. Analyze why they chose this route, taking the climate and terrain into account. Yue Fei: !!! There are also history, politics, and many other exam papers with a wide variety of question types. Did you get full marks on today's exam? ★ Upcoming story: "After Qin Shi Huang Sees the Spoilers, I Transmigrate into Hu Hai" ★ Qin Hai recently discovered a mysterious livestream. The streamer always talked about history late at night, and all the viewers used the names of emperors from different dynasties. It was like a massive internet cosplay event. One viewer named "First Emperor Ying Zheng" got especially into character, speaking in an awkward way and referring to himself as "I, the Emperor." To fit in with the stream, Qin Hai changed his own username to "Eighteenth Son of Qin." One night, the streamer began talking about the history of the Qin dynasty. Things like "Ying Zheng's coffin was packed with dried abalone." And "Hu Hai took the throne, and the dynasty fell in its second generation." "First Emperor Ying Zheng" furiously posted hundreds of question marks, then got muted for swearing too much. The other emperor viewers were having a great time, and Qin Hai laughed along with them. After the livestream ended, Qin Hai went to bed as usual. But when he woke up, he was in the Qin dynasty. And he'd shrunk into a little baby. Qin Hai had just managed to accept reality when the door was kicked open. A man in black robes came in, with a high-bridged nose, long eyes, and a murderous gleam in his gaze. "So this is my eighteenth son, the Hu Hai who will bring down Qin?" Qin Hai: I'm in danger!!! He wakes up to find himself transmigrated into Hu Hai. Faced with a father who has heard the spoilers through a livestream, watch him fight for survival by the skin of his teeth! Theme: Five thousand years of history, countless Chinese legends.