Why Hasn't My Sickly Beautiful Husband Died Yet?!

Seeking advance readers for: 1. A Guide to Pampering Your Frail, Delicate Parasitic Vine; 2. Cuddling Up to My Tentacled Catnip Husband Really Can Extend Your Life

Synopsis

Lu Congzhou transmigrates into a novel about a marriage meant to bring good luck, becoming a disposable male wife. His family business is on the verge of bankruptcy, and his disgusting father marries him off to the book's major villain in exchange for fifty million in working capital.

The villain is not only dying, but also has a bizarre, sinister, and brutal temper. He is known in their circle as the "tyrant."

That's not all. Lu Congzhou exists only as a foil to the story's protagonist. He's an incompetent, universally hated, bottom-rung 108th-tier celebrity who leeches off the protagonist's popularity.

The protagonist is everyone's beloved white moonlight: cute, a top-tier star who shot to fame with his debut, and the secret object of the protagonist gong's ardent affections.

Time and again, Lu Congzhou tries to trip up the protagonist, only to be thoroughly face-slapped and suffer one setback after another. Then, after the villain dies, Lu Congzhou loses the only leverage that made people wary of him. He's framed, disfigured, and forced to leave show business, disappearing from the story for good.

Lu Congzhou gets it. He's struggling in a bottomless quagmire, and the only lifeline he can grasp is Huo Beichuan.

The first step to saving himself: keep Huo Beichuan alive.

Beneath branches laden with flowers, Lu Congzhou sees Huo Beichuan for the first time. Huo Beichuan lounges in a rocking chair, turning a piece of jade, green all the way through, in his hand. Though it's July, a light blanket covers his legs. From a distance, he looks cold and handsome, yet frail enough to inspire pity. Lu Congzhou's breath catches.

Tsk. Maybe he doesn't mind this marriage all that much after all. If he'd known his husband was a beauty, ahem, a sick man, he would've said so sooner.

*

At first, Huo Beichuan doesn't want to marry the spouse his grandfather forced on him. He has only three months left to live and doesn't want to ruin someone else's life. But then that person clumsily makes him medicinal meals, secretly warms his bed, goes to every length to treat his illness, and kisses and cuddles him with innocent confusion. Suddenly, Huo Beichuan wants to live a little longer, and then longer still. His darling is sweet, soft, and guileless. What will he do without Huo Beichuan to protect him?

Bonus scene

Lu Congzhou stares pensively at the fresh pregnancy test results, then pokes Huo Beichuan in the waist and asks, bewildered, "Weren't you supposed to be dying?"

Huo Beichuan: "Darling, I'm in poor health, not impotent. You personally fed me tiger penis and deer antler wine, and lamb soup with goji berries. So what if you're pregnant? Anyone can give birth."

"R-really?"

Lu Congzhou feels like something's off, but he can't put his finger on it. It takes Huo Beichuan staying by his side for a year, two years, and N years before he finally realizes: Wasn't Huo Beichuan supposed to be dying soon so Lu Congzhou could inherit his hundreds of billions in assets? How did he end up healthier than Lu Congzhou?

Advance Preview 1: A Guide to Pampering Your Frail, Delicate Parasitic Vine

Yu Luotang wakes up one day and realizes the world he lives in is just a book. He's the disposable foil to the protagonist.

A beautiful, pampered, frail, and sickly parasitic vine, able to survive only by wagging his tail and clinging to others.

The protagonist is his younger brother, Yu Luobai. He's been sunny and outgoing since childhood, shrewd and capable, and debuted at eighteen. He's made a spectacular success of himself in show business.

All the family's supposed painstaking efforts to raise Yu Luotang were really just meant to sell him off at a good price and pave the way for Yu Luobai.

Thankfully, Yu Luotang awakens to his memories the night before he's supposed to discuss his engagement with the protagonist gong.

The protagonist gong has been secretly seeing Yu Luotang's younger brother for a long time. Not long after the two families marry them off to each other, the pair plot Yu Luotang's death and seize all the assets in his name. His family sheds a few crocodile tears, then promptly forgets all about him.

Yu Luotang rejects the sanctimonious protagonist gong and chooses Xie Wangqi, the book's major villain instead.

They say Xie Wangqi suffers from severe insomnia, is violent and capricious, and behaves in a bizarre, erratic manner. Everyone in the Imperial Capital trembles at the mention of his name.

Yu Luotang doesn't care. He just wants to escape the Yu family. He just wants to live.

Besides, Xie Wangqi isn't as cold and heartless as Yu Luotang imagined. Instead, he's gentle and considerate, pampers him rotten, and grants his every wish.

Except that he's a little... clingy.

He has to hold Yu Luotang to fall asleep each night, likes to nibble the red mole on his collarbone, and lifts his chin for long, lingering kisses. His appetite seems especially...

Xie Wangqi suddenly finds himself with a delicate, frail partner in an arranged marriage. Yu Luotang is impossibly beautiful, and from the moment Xie Wangqi lays eyes on him, he can't look away.

When they're together, his worsening headaches gradually ease. When they cuddle and cling to each other, his violent moods slowly settle. When they share a bed, he sleeps soundly through the night.

Xie Wangqi wishes he could pluck the stars from the sky and give everything in the world to his little parasitic vine.

"Xie Wangqi, I'm scared to be alone. Stay with me."

"Okay."

"Big brother, I want the Yu family to be ruined, and Yu Luobai to be disgraced."

"Okay."

"Hubby, you have to love me more than you did yesterday."

"Okay."

"Puppy, you have no self-control. We need separate bedrooms."

"No."

Xie Wangqi fixes his blood-red gaze on Yu Luotang and pulls him in for a deep kiss. He'll grant Yu Luotang any wish except that one.

A Guide to Pampering Your Parasitic Vine

1. The little parasitic vine is afraid of the dark and thunderstorms. Hold him close and coax him to sleep.

2. The little parasitic vine is delicate and frail. Keep his medicine ready, and be extremely restrained and gentle when the time comes.

3. The little parasitic vine needs lots of money, and even more love. Love him very, very much.

4. Support your little parasitic vine unconditionally. Whatever he wants, whatever he needs, be the vine he can climb toward the top, not a thorny cage that traps him.

P.S. The shou will have his own career.

Advance Preview 2: Cuddling Up to My Tentacled Catnip Husband Really Can Extend Your Life!

As the last cat demon to cultivate a human form before the founding of the country, Su Mubai has had an unstable soul and a delicate, frail body since childhood.

Following a celestial master's advice, Su Mubai joins the entertainment industry as a teenager and becomes a top-tier star. He hopes the adoration of his fans will stabilize his soul, but it barely helps.

Watching Su Mubai grow weaker by the day, Grandpa Su grits his teeth and sends him into an arranged marriage with the powerful Bo Yanchi, whose mental strength is formidable.

Su Mubai has heard that Bo Yanchi's mental power is so strong it's hard to control, leaving him sinister and violent, cold as ice, and utterly unfeeling. The demons of the Imperial Capital tremble at the mere mention of his name.

Su Mubai prepares himself to be thrown out the moment they meet. Who could've guessed Bo Yanchi would be not only gentle and considerate, but also love kissing, cuddling, and snuggling with him?

The first time Su Mubai sees Bo Yanchi.

Su Mubai: Blushing, heart pounding, limbs weak, head spinning. He smells so good, so good. I want to inhale him.

Grandpa, why didn't you tell me the big shot was a catnip spirit?

This is heaven. Cat heaven!

Su Mubai strikes a deal with Bo Yanchi: he'll untangle Bo Yanchi's mental power, which is as knotted as a ball of yarn, and Bo Yanchi will stabilize his soul.

Everything goes perfectly, except that Bo Yanchi goes from touching fingertips with him to wanting them to cuddle up naked.

The cat doesn't understand. The cat is shocked.jpg

"Kitty, this is dual cultivation. It can stabilize your soul all at once. It's cultivation, perfectly normal."

Su Mubai: "I-is that so?"

The cat hasn't read many books. Don't trick him.

Later...

Su Mubai: "If it's dual cultivation, fine, but where did those tentacles come from? I thought you were catnip. How are you catnip with a bunch of tentacle vines?"

Bo Yanchi: His gaze darkens as he binds the fleeing Su Mubai up, again and again.

"Kitty, I just mutated after cultivating for too long. Don't be scared. You obviously love my vines. You get so excited every time."

Well... he isn't wrong.

Su Mubai loses himself in the sweet scent of catnip, sinking deeper and deeper. Bo Yanchi's vines coil around his waist, and red marks cover his body.

Still, he can't shake the feeling that something is off. Why is his belly getting bigger and bigger? Did that thousand-year-old demon trick him into giving up his body and heart?

Theme: No matter when, never give up hope of living.