[Harry Potter] Slytherin Falls in Love with Me

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"I never thought you'd turn out like this, Miss Dement," Salazar Slytherin said, elegantly flicking his robes as he sat in his expensive armchair. "A walking corpse."

His soft black hair was tied back with a silver ribbon, and the understated snakes woven into his dark green robes seemed almost lifelike in the light.

"As your teacher," Salazar said slowly, his handsome young brow furrowing, "I am deeply disappointed."

Dement replied with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Oh? And what about my old lover?"

"All that's left is a portrait. You can only move up, down, left, and right," Dement mocked mercilessly. "Are you a squashed ant or a withered flower? You haven't even lived to two hundred, old man, and you still think you're gorgeous?"

"Ha! I forgot, you can visit other portraits, can't you!" she jeered loudly. "Does Sir Cadogan, whom you hate most, often invite you to ride his adorable little pony? Hmm? Or aren't you even worthy of that?"

No matter how well-mannered Salazar Slytherin was, she still managed to make his head throb with anger from time to time. "I'll say it again! We were only teacher and student! We were not lovers!"

"Then who was it that rested his head on my lap and said he'd be my little snake for the rest of his life? And who was it that spent all day cuddled up with me on the sofa, asking for hugs and kisses?" Dement enunciated each word. "Tea-cher?"

Salazar was so angry he could barely catch his breath. After a long moment of furious silence, he shouted, "Patricia Dement!"

Theme: Making things up instead of grasping at inspiration.