[Boss Dazai] A Hedgehog Can't Be a Cat

Street gossip interview one day: Question: What would you do if your online partner suddenly disappeared? Answer: Hmm... I'd do everything I could to find him. Question (eyes gleaming with gossip): And then? What next? Would you scold him? Interrogate him? Get revenge? Answer (deadpan): No, I'd cut him up. Question: Huh?! Answer: Ahaha, I'm kidding. Actually, I have only one reason for finding him: to make him pay me back! I once had an online partner for two whole years. Since he was my first love, I treasured him dearly (not really. I just thought he was fun). Though our online relationship was a match made by fate, we'd never seen each other's faces, yet we were perfectly in sync. For example: I paid for his games, stayed up making porridge to comfort him when he worked overtime (over the phone), and cursed his partner for beating him up, wishing he would never grow any taller. Nakahara Chuuya: ? As an online partner I'd never met in person, I did my best to fulfill my duties. But in the end, the lovesick girl was callously abandoned by the heartless boy (not really). As everyone knows, disappearing is the cruelest way to break up. So, years later, I set out to conquer Yokohama, determined to track down that runaway mackerel who had played with an innocent girl's feelings. And make him pay back the money he owed me, while I was at it. So, as Dazai Osamu slowly closed his eyes in the Tsurumi River, feeling the icy water and the deathly silence around him, a soft hand reached out and caught him, catching the life that had been falling away from him, too. Boss Dazai x Divine Girl The heroine is the Wisdom God from In/Spectre, basically Kotoko's successor. A hedgehog can't curl up in someone else's arms like a cat. -Actually, it can, right? Just stuff a little soft cotton into each of its spines. But... -Shut up, Dazai. If you're going to say that touching cotton would still hurt, I'll sew your mouth shut myself. First draft of the idea written on 2023.2.6. I've made some changes since then, and I'll probably make more later. Premise: You have to love yourself.