The Daily Life of a Salted Fish Shadow Guard

[Pre-release: The blurb for My Intelligence Is Unclear, but My Luck Is Incredible is at the end]

Shijiu, an overworked office worker, accidentally dies after pulling an all-nighter. When he opens his eyes, he discovers he has transmigrated to ancient times. Before he can celebrate his new lease on life, he receives some devastating news:

He has become a shadow guard. His job is to crouch on the rafters every day and protect his master, working from midnight to midnight, 365 days a year without a break.

Shijiu: ...

Shijiu: Being alive is nice, but dying would be fine too :)

In his second life, Shijiu refuses to work overtime. He slacks off all day, gives up on doing a good job, and shows up late and leaves early. The good news is that he’s the least noticeable of all the shadow guards, and he manages to slack off for three months without anyone noticing.

The bad news is that, because he’s so easy to overlook, his master, a suspicious tyrant, sends him to Prince Ning’s residence as a spy.

They say Prince Ning is a sickly man who gasps after every step and coughs three times after every sentence. He’s lazy and uneducated by nature, and supposedly doesn’t have long to live.

On his first day as a spy, Shijiu crouches on the rafters and watches Prince Ning’s residence fill with a steady stream of guests. They chat and drink together, discussing state affairs at length.

Shijiu thinks it over for a long while, then reports to his master: Prince Ning spent the whole day playing dominoes with his guests.

A month into his assignment, Shijiu hides beneath Prince Ning’s carriage and follows him outside the city to inspect the troops he’s secretly raised. His report to his master: Prince Ning spent the whole day playing dominoes.

Three months into his assignment, Prince Ning suddenly falls seriously ill and grabs Shijiu’s hand, refusing to let him leave. Sitting by the bed, Shijiu reports to his master: Prince Ning played dominoes with such intensity that he finally made himself sick. Today, he reflected on his actions and swore not to play again tomorrow.

A year into his assignment, Shijiu watches Prince Ning’s army assemble. When Prince Ning reaches out a hand to him, Shijiu takes it and reports to his master: Prince Ning invited me to play dominoes with him today.

-

Later, Prince Ning finally overthrows the tyrant and ascends the throne as the new emperor. Shijiu lies on the imperial bed, rubbing his aching back

Who on earth said Prince Ning didn’t have long to live?!

#I Was Just a Shadow Guard, So How Did I Become the Empress?#

#If My Boss Makes Me Work 24/7, I’ll Just Get a New Boss#

A natural-born slacker with a nearly nonexistent presence, except around the love interest &

A doting, devious prince who tries hard to ignore the love interest and plays along with his act

Reader’s guide:

· One-on-one, focused on the love interest, happy ending. The love interest has maxed-out combat ability; the other lead has maxed-out intelligence.

· Lots of daily life, not a fast-paced power fantasy. Please keep that in mind.

· The love interest transmigrated with his body intact. The details will be explained later.

· The couple team up to take down the tyrant. The other lead is only pretending to be ill.

· The leads are made for each other and are each other’s only love, emotionally and physically. No gender-swaps, role reversals, self-inserts, obsession with either lead, or any other unusual pairings in the comments. Related comments will be deleted. 🚫🚫🚫

· If you read pirated copies, don’t come here to pick fights. Comments will be deleted on sight.

· This is a fictional setting, so please don’t nitpick historical details. Many details are made up. Please keep discussions civil. Comments that disrupt the reading experience may be removed at the author’s discretion. Please respect one another. Thank you!

Blurb for My Intelligence Is Unclear, but My Luck Is Incredible:

The day Song Qishan graduates from university, he dies unexpectedly. When he opens his eyes, he discovers he has transmigrated to ancient times and become the youngest son of Lord Song, the Minister of Revenue.

The boy was born frail and suffered from a condition known as “loss of the soul” from birth. Even at twenty, he is still as dim-witted as a three-year-old, doesn’t even recognize his own parents, and cries for his big brother whenever anything happens.

Even so, everyone in the Song family treasures him, dressing him in fine clothes, feeding him well, and taking careful care of him. They never scold him.

Song Qishan, whose parents both died and who put himself through school by working part-time, is moved to tears: Heaven has finally shown me some kindness!

-

Recently, the Song household discovered that their young master, who had been afflicted with loss of the soul for twenty years, had miraculously recovered on his own. Not only was he acting just like an ordinary person, he was also bringing almost unbelievable good luck to everyone around him.

Lord Song goes out to buy his youngest son a sweet rice cake and accidentally avoids a runaway horse that injures people in the street, escaping a bloody disaster.

Song Tingyuan, the eldest son of the Song family and an official at the Court of Judicial Review, casually helps his younger brother catch the thief who stole his purse, only to discover that the thief is a notorious bandit who has been wanted by the authorities for three years.

To celebrate their youngest son’s recovery, the whole Song family goes on an outing and accidentally avoids a bloody factional struggle that would have affected countless people.

-

People in the capital say the youngest Song son is a genius who merely seems foolish, someone who kept his talents hidden for twenty years and lived quietly out of the limelight. In truth, he is blessed with incredible fortune, radiating a purple aura. Anyone who offends him is bound to meet with disaster, while anyone who helps him is sure to hit the jackpot.

For a while, the capital’s powerful families flock to him, nearly breaking down the Song family’s doors. When they hear that Song Qishan prefers men, they immediately offer up their pampered young sons.

But the eldest Song son turns them all away.

Song Tingyuan, Vice Minister of the Court of Judicial Review, opens a case file and assesses the candidates one by one:

“A lecher. No.”

“A compulsive gambler. No.”

“Armed and attacked several people, and still at large... Come with me to the Court of Judicial Review for a little chat.”

Song Qishan: ovo

Song Qishan: It’s so nice to have a big brother. He looks out for me and keeps all the bad romances away.

Song Qishan: ...Wait, why are you in my bed, Brother?

A gentle, doting, devious, and fiercely protective top × a cheerful, lively bottom who takes advantage of his big brother’s influence

Brother-obsessed × little-brother-obsessed. The leads are not related by blood.

Theme: Never let hardship defeat you, and never bow your head to fate.