[Anime Crossover] My Ability Is Narration

*Also known as Everyone Wants to Tear My Ability Apart Every Day, Social Death, Are You Afraid?, and I'm Number One at Being Punchable

Blurb:

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I, Kamiya Yu, am just an ordinary passerby.

One day, plain old me transmigrated.

In this dangerous world, all I want is to scrape by. But I ended up with an ability that is anything but ordinary.

The scariest part is that my ability has a mind of its own :)

*

Crime scene

[Even though I'm just a narrator, I have to say: nobody's used such a trash murder method since the last century.]

The bespectacled elementary-school detective, diligently searching for clues, looked up in horror. “Who? Who's talking?”

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[Good. Now, all you police officers watching, please wait quietly for the detective to finish deducing the case. After all, your only role is to stop the culprit from fighting back~]

The Metropolitan Police officers, insulted, gripped their guns and blushed as they scanned the area. “Who is it? Show yourself!”

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[Oh! My! Look at her shoulders twitching! For an actress to put on a performance like that, she must be a truly outstanding piece of human garbage! If you still can't figure it out after a hint like that, you might as well get a commendation plaque and go straight home!]

The female culprit stiffened all over and clutched her chest, nearly fainting.

Who the hell is saying this?!

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Kamiya Yu, who had only been eating at the crime scene, wished he could bury his head in his bowl.

*

Outside Jujutsu High

Suguru Geto had just declared war on the school. Facing everyone's angry glares, he simply wore a profound, all-contemptuous smile.

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[Some people act all upright and proper to your face, but secretly abduct minors.]

The cult leader's smile froze. Then he saw his former best friend across from him, lips pressed together, struggling not to smile.

Gojo Satoru shielded Okkotsu Yuta behind him and said, “Geto, don't come near my students again. Your so-called greater good will never come to pass.”

The voice made a hissing sound.

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[Geto and Gojo, Gojo and Geto. You two are something else. You don't even bother pretending after defecting. At least try to tone it down a little! Geto, you're still wearing your Five Stripes robe. You spent ages getting dressed before going out. Who are you trying to sweet-talk to death? What an earth-shattering conspiracy!]

The Jujutsu High crowd was stunned.

Panda covered his mouth, his eyes darting between the two of them. “So that's the kind of relationship you have?!”

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Geto and Gojo: ???

They were about to explain.

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[Say no more, I'll help you out. Your one and only best friend, right? “My one and my only.” Got it, got it~]

Cult Leader Geto pondered: ...Why does this feel weird?

Teacher Gojo fell silent: ...Something feels off to me too.

Then laughter broke out behind them, along with music that wouldn't stop.

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“Wait, which idiot put on the wedding march?!” x2

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Kamiya Yu met the gazes of three Special Grades. “...”

Run!

*

Meursault Prison

Two cells away, two black-haired members of the script group were communicating through eye contact.

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[At this moment, the Demon's and Dazai Osamu's encrypted conversation begins. Their intelligence is so extraordinary that nobody can break into it. Even Narrator-kun doesn't want to waste the effort analyzing it.]

Feeling their gazes fix on him, Kamiya Yu blanked his eyes and edged further inside.

It's fine if you know. I'm just a fellow inmate passing by. I'm tired. Let's all get destroyed...

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[The events to come appear before Kamiya Yu like a divine revelation, but he has no intention of interfering, and doesn't care whether the two of them know about his ability.]

Wait... Kamiya Yu's inner alarm bells rang.

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[If Kamiya Yu is casually dismissed, the biggest variable in this deadlock will simply withdraw. Then no one will learn that he once used his words to force his way into a battle between Special Grades and peacefully resolve a major crisis that would have devastated Tokyo.

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Knock, knock. Dazai Osamu tapped on the door from the other side, his brown eyes curving into a smile.

“Kamiya-san, would you be interested in joining the Decay of the Angel? The Demon can even offer you room and board~”

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Kamiya Yu's pupils shook with shock: ...Fuck!!

*

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P.S.

1. This story was originally written to torment the characters.

2. No angst, no CP. I just love collecting iconic scenes.

Theme: My wish is for world peace