One
My primary personality is a saintly college student.
He's bullied at school and flamed online, catches the eye of a domineering CEO who forces himself on him and puts him through a tragic romance, then makes him give way to the CEO's unrequited love, give up his place, and donate blood until he's about to give up a kidney.
But all it takes is one little apology from the CEO, and he'll forgive him.
My second personality is a lunatic mercenary.
He's always thinking about stabbing the CEO a few times, stabbing the CEO's unrequited love a few times, stabbing the old butler a few times, stabbing some random passerby a few times, and stabbing the whole world a few times. He smashes plates and bowls, puts holes in walls, takes a swing at the CEO, and the moment no one's watching, he's ready to kill, set fires, and take revenge on society.
But all it takes is one little apology from him, and my saintly primary personality will forgive him, too.
So the two of them fell in love.
And me, the third personality, am the one who gets stuck holding the bag.
When the saint gets hurt, I have to hold back the lunatic and rush out first to beat the CEO to a pulp, so I don't end up a murderer.
When the lunatic finishes throwing a fit, I have to go out and clean up the mess, apologize, tidy up, and patch everyone up, all while the two of them are making goo-goo eyes at each other in my head.
The saint, who shines love upon the world, thinks the lunatic is pitiful and adorable, and deserves to be saved. The lunatic thinks the saint is annoying and meddlesome, but also pitiful and adorable, and someone who deserves protection.
But me.
I'm the one caught between the saint and the lunatic, between the saint and the CEO, and between the lunatic and the CEO, the victim of a nonexistent love triangle.
One day, I'll kick the saint and the lunatic out! Stop doing that kind of thing in my head!!
Two
The CEO thinks he's fallen in love with a canary.
When normal and abnormal romantic approaches fail, he decides to use silk sheets and golden ankle chains to lock the canary in his bedroom.
Then the canary smashes his head in.
Then the canary softly apologizes to him.
"Sorry about that. My kid's a little emotionally unstable."
The canary bundles up the broken chair and tosses it in the trash, puts the ankle chain back on, and lies back down on the bed. He grabs the CEO's head and checks the wound.
"Good, you're not dead. I'm really sorry about that. Oh, by the way, I want steak for dinner tonight."
"You bastard..."
The CEO is about to fly into a rage.
The CEO gets slammed into the wall.
The CEO's head takes another hit.
With a long, exasperated sigh, the canary hauls the CEO up again. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Like I said, the kid's still young, and a little emotionally unstable. Want me to call a doctor to take a look at you?"
The CEO thinks it's not just his head that needs a doctor. The canary's head needs checking, too.
But the CEO doesn't dare say it.
Three
The CEO's unrequited love and his hangers-on all think he's fallen hard, lost his mind, and is practically about to hand over his entire fortune.
"Who's that?"
"The boss."
"He's just a poor college student. Have your fun, but don't get in over your head."
"Can you all keep it down?"
"You're really going to fall out with us over some little thing like him?!"
The CEO looks miserable.
The CEO's expression twists.
"Believe it or not, I'm actually protecting you. I really am."
Theme: Self-reliance and self-improvement.
