[Journey to the West] Amitabha Buddha, This Monk Has Arrived

A self-obsessed Master Tang who loves having fits, is freakishly strong, and isn't quite right in the head & the pure-hearted Great Sage, a martial arts powerhouse who knows how to chant sutras and serves as his personal bodyguard

[Note: This story is told in first person!]

After graduating, Tang Xuanzang thought he had landed the lucky, easygoing civil servant life. But he let his guard down, stepped on a banana peel, and fell to his death.

When he opened his eyes again, he had successfully arrived in another "wonderful" new world.

This world had gods and immortals, demons and spirits,

and a bald, white-horse-riding monk in a kasaya, a hapless fool on the Journey to the West!

There are countless trades, and none of them are easy. Being a monk takes real skill, especially when you aren't just any monk, but the super-premium, extra-desirable Tang Monk!

Surely you have to be proficient at chanting sutras, meditating, and eating vegetarian food, and have the sort of compassionate, harmless persona that makes it easy for demons to snatch you away?

Unfortunately, Tang Xuanzang had none of those qualities.

He couldn't chant sutras or meditate at all. No matter how many volumes the scriptures contained, our Master Tang proudly declared, "This humble monk only knows one phrase: Amitabha Buddha!"

As for being harmless and too weak to hurt a chicken, that was three words: absolutely impossible!

Tang Xuanzang could lift the Five Elements Mountain with his bare hands, and had gone so far as to drink several mouthfuls of his own blood, earning himself a tough-as-nails, golden-barbie body. He felt very wronged. "Even if this humble monk offered himself up, the demons couldn't chew through him~"

The Great Sage, carrying his Golden Cudgel, twitched his Wind-Following Ear and gave a cold laugh. "What?! Which demon would dare eat my master?"

Tang Xuanzang hefted his monk's staff and smiled warmly. "Be good, Kongkong. What demon would dare eat your master? Come here and let me lead you. Your master will protect you~"

[Journey to the West Newsflash]

Joint Human and Underworld Gazette:

Audacious! Someone surnamed Tang publicly tore up the Book of Life and Death!

Immortal Realm Pilgrimage Gossip Group:

Humanity's greatest enemy is itself! How did someone surnamed Tang become invulnerable after eating his own flesh?

South Sea Buddhist Spectators' Society:

Guanyin's Lecture Q&A: Why are someone surnamed Tang and someone surnamed Sun wearing matching headbands?

Urgent Demon Refuge Bulletin (Urgent! Urgent! Urgent!)

Demons and monsters of every kind, run! Whatever you do, don't capture someone surnamed Tang!

Survival rules: Don't bite Tang Monk! Your teeth will break! Don't boil Tang Monk! He'll punch right through the pot! Whatever you do, don't make Tang Monk angry! One punch from him brought down a whole mountain!

(A slight digression) The Great Sage can't stand his petty master. One whack from that monk's staff really hurts!

Remember this! If you don't want to question your whole existence as a demon, just look at that pig, that horse, or that bearded man.

If your eyesight is too good and you accidentally see them, immediately praise the earth-shaking bond between Tang Xuanzang and the Great Sage. Namo Amitabha Buddha.

*

I died!

Then I came back to life...

That wouldn't normally be worth mentioning, but I transmigrated...

And, to my dismay, became Tang! Monk!

It really was a bummer, but on second thought, maybe things weren't so bad after all.

After all, this humble monk had found the monkey of his dreams!

Kongkong, hehehe, your master is coming!

Let your master escort you on the Journey to the West!

Theme: What a deeply moving bond between master and disciple!