The Empress Dowager Claims She’s My Ex-Girlfriend

[Coming Soon: Fluffy Furballs Aren't Little Teas!] Please add it to your favorites. I'll beg, cry, and roll around for you~

Shen Yuezhang was the most notorious playgirl in the capital.

When her great-grandfather Shen Zhi was young, he picked out the future founding emperor from among a bunch of little kids playing in the mud, and became the emperor's closest friend.

Shen Yuezhang, a descendant of noble meritorious families, also made friends while she was still young enough to play in the mud: a fox of a friend, the orphan Liu Yun, and a dog of a friend, the neglected Third Prince.

Ten years passed in the blink of an eye. The little prince became the current ruler, and the orphan girl with no family or support became the Empress Dowager. Only Shen Yuezhang ended up as the capital's most notorious leftover woman...

Tsk, this whole turn of events was completely wrong. Her great-grandfather became sworn brothers with the emperor and wound up a highly sought-after husband. How had she ended up as a hot potato?

Later, Shen Yuezhang heard that word had come from the palace: the Empress Dowager had called the Shen family young lady her old flame!

The new emperor ascended the throne and held an additional imperial examination. Shen Yuezhang was thrilled. On the day the results were posted, she brought the Shen household servants along to snatch a husband from among the successful candidates. She had only one requirement: looks came first!

So the burly Shen servants caught the current Empress Dowager, who had slipped out of the palace in disguise, for her!

The current Empress Dowager's life was famously full of twists and turns. Everyone said Emperor Jiande had been her benefactor, taking her from convict slave to Empress Dowager.

When Emperor Jiande ascended the throne, he granted a general amnesty, and she was freed from slavery.

When Emperor Jiande held a selection for his harem, she was chosen to enter the palace.

Before Emperor Jiande died, she rose from a low-ranking concubine to Empress.

After Emperor Jiande died, the Third Prince ascended the throne, and she became the most powerful person in the palace: the Empress Dowager!

Rumors said the Empress Dowager was ruthless. Rumors said she framed loyal officials. Rumors said she usurped the emperor's authority. Rumors said she intended to seize the throne...

Liu Yun paid no attention to the rumors. The only one she admitted was true was that the Empress Dowager, unable to bear the jealousy of having someone else marry the woman she loved, had secretly ruined every marriage prospect for the Shen family young lady.

Of course. She was lonely and cold in the palace. How could she let Shen Yuezhang enjoy a happy marriage outside it?

Little Scene:

Courtier: Your Majesty, it's bad! It's bad! Miss Shen and the Noble Consort are arguing in the imperial garden!

The emperor, who had been on his way to the imperial garden, immediately turned around. "Go call the Empress Dowager."

Courtier: And Your Majesty...?

Emperor: I'll keep my distance. She swears like a sailor.

Little Scene 2

After Miss Shen quarreled with a palace consort, the Empress Dowager ordered her to clean the study. A short while later, the Empress Dowager's personal lady-in-waiting saw the wet ink and disordered books in the study and coaxed her helplessly. "Miss Shen, even if nobody's watching, the Empress Dowager gave the order. You should at least make it look like you're doing it, shouldn't you?"

Shen Yuezhang looked incredulous and pointed at the abacus on the desk. "What do you mean, make it look like it? Can't you see I've already put the abacus in order?"

The lady-in-waiting was dumbfounded, but the Empress Dowager looked completely unsurprised.

"As long as you've tidied up, that's enough. What would you like for dinner?"

As she spoke, their fastidious Empress Dowager closed the book that had been left open.

The lady-in-waiting: "..."

Your Highness, would you care to look at what you're doing? Is this what you call tidying up?!

Later, new palace staff had to learn a few special terms during their orientation. For instance, the abacus was also called the study; overcooked wonton soup was called noodles in meat broth; and the number seventeen was taboo in the palace.

[Foxy beauty, composed top x carefree playgirl bottom]

Reader's Guide:

1. Happy ending, both leads have only ever been with each other, and a sweet little story. Enjoy without worry.

2. Silly and lively. This story absolutely will not be angsty. That's the important part.

Coming Soon: Fluffy Furballs Aren't Little Teas!

Socially anxious comic artist x illiterate fluffy furball, in demon-king mode

[Revising the earlier chapters now. It'll be ready soon. Please add it to your favorites. I'll beg, cry, and roll around for you~]

Bai Shuangshuang was a calico kitten, a feline of the cat family.

Then, one day, she accidentally cultivated a human form.

From then on, the good days of her owner earning money for her to spend were over.

Kitty had to get a job and earn money, but before that, kitty also had to get up early and stay up late to go to school.

She had to learn the basics of human society and how to imitate humans.

Most importantly, kitty absolutely could not let humans discover that she was a cat.

On top of all that, she had to follow the countless house rules Tao Ran had laid down.

1. If kitty wants beef, she can buy some at a restaurant. She can't go catch her own at an amusement park.

2. Kitty can't just follow the neighbors around calling them Mommy and Daddy, then grab the chicken leg from their pot. Stealing it is wrong, too.

3. TV shows are fake. Kitty can't go accusing people of poisoning her, especially when a silver needle gets stuck into a black sesame tangyuan.

4. Kitty can't copy her classmates' homework, let alone beat them up for refusing to let her copy, even if the classmate is a dog.

5. Kitty can't eat the pothos, spider plants, or money trees at hotpot restaurants. Boiling them doesn't make it okay, and pouring the boiled soup into the money tree is especially not okay.

6. Kitty can't beat up her coworkers at the zoo...

Human society is annoying. There are rules against everything.

Humans aren't annoying, though. Tao Ran is one of them~

But Tao Ran won't even admit she's kitty's girlfriend. Kitty got mad and ran away from home, then got threatened: if she didn't come back, she'd be named as a defendant.

Kitty felt wronged and sad, but fortunately, Tao Ran admitted who she was.

Fine, Tao Ran was only a tiny bit annoying. Kitty could forgive her.

The stray cat Tao Ran brought home turned into a human.

On the first day after the transformation, a group of demons claiming to be from the Bureau of Demon Affairs came to register her.

After the registration, Tao Ran became Hachimi's guardian. She had to help Hachimi with her cultural studies at school, teach her in everyday life, help her learn practical knowledge, make sure she could communicate with humans normally without giving away her identity, and help her adapt to human society as quickly as possible.

Tao Ran felt like she'd become a mother without the pain of childbirth. On the first day she took the cat to school, she asked her when she got home, "What are your classmates like?"

Cat: "They're all different. Some are greasy, and some are really refreshing."

Tao Ran nodded and was about to remind her to pay attention to hygiene when the cat continued, "Some are soft and glutinous, and some are really crispy."

Tao Ran: "!!!!!!!"

"You went to school, not a cafeteria!!!"

After a while studying, Tao Ran took Hachimi to sit the Bureau of Demon Affairs' cultural assessment, full of anxiety.

Before the results came out, a child who had come with them tried to reassure her.

"Don't worry. People used to live in close-knit communities, so it was easy to notice strangers in the neighborhood. Now everyone's online, and everyone's acting crazy, so you can't even tell if someone is a demon. The exams have been made a lot easier, too."

Even with the easier exam, Hachimi scored three points.

Out of one hundred and fifty.

Tao Ran: "Apricots are the fruit of ginkgo trees? Peaches are the fruit of walnuts? These are the tricky questions Director Fox has gone over with you so many times! You didn't remember a single thing?"

Hachimi held her tail straight up and looked innocent. "...I vaguely remember him talking about them."

Tao Ran laughed in exasperation. "What do you remember clearly, then?"

Hachimi answered with perfect sincerity. "I clearly remember not listening when he talked."

Tao Ran: "..."

Oh, merciful heavens, when will this miserable business of helping the kid with her homework finally end?

Little Scene:

Bai Shuangshuang ran away from home in a rage because Tao Ran refused to be her girlfriend.

When Tao Ran got home and found the place empty, she hurriedly called to ask where she was.

Tao Ran: "Where are you?"

Bai Shuangshuang sneered. "What, did you finally realize how empty the house feels without me? Anyway, I'm not coming back unless you agree to be my girlfriend. Do what you want!"

Tao Ran took a deep breath and looked at the completely empty wardrobe, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. The vein in her temple throbbed.

"I'm telling you, running away from home and taking everything in the house are two different things. If you don't come back, you'll be changing your name to Defendant!"

Reader's Guide:

1. Humans and demons coexist in this world.

2. The top appears first, but the whole story is told from our kitty's perspective.

Theme: Work hard and strive for a better life.