I’m Not Good

The day Yin Yun met Shen Shu, an autumn rain fell over Hejiang City for the first time in ages.

In the misty drizzle, Yin Yun was curled up miserably beneath the eaves when he saw Shen Shu approaching through the rain, dressed in a white cross-collar Tang suit and holding an umbrella.

The umbrella tilted toward him. Raindrops clung to the collar of Shen Shu's Tang suit, and soon Yin Yun's vision was filled with his handsome, refined features.

In a daze, he heard Shen Shu ask, "Would you like to come home with me?"

As a boy, Yin Yun was well-behaved and sensible. He saw Shen Shu as his salvation, and followed him home, learning to paint under his guidance. All he hoped for was that one day he could stand alongside Shen Shu.

He never expected that a few years later, someone would appear and shatter all his fantasies. Only then did he learn that Shen Shu had taken him in simply because he looked like that person.

On the night before he left, he went to a bar and drank for the first time. His once-obedient, gentle features now looked exquisitely cool and aloof.

Shen Shu came in person to take him home.

Tipsy and carefree, Yin Yun smiled faintly at Shen Shu. "Sir, you've got the wrong person. I'm not well-behaved."

Shen Shu had imagined living with Yin Yun for a long time, but never thought that one day Yin Yun would stop loving him.

By the time he realized it, the young man had already broken free of his hold and soared toward a wider sky.

Shen Shu regretted everything.

Reading guide:

1. Painter gong, obedient on the surface but wild underneath (Yin Yun) x refined and elegant shou, who first doesn't understand love and later falls deeply in love (Shen Shu).

2. Gong-focused, one-on-one, happy ending.

3. The shou chases the gong and suffers for it. Yes, I'm in the mood for angsty, melodramatic chase-your-gong fiction again. There's a mistaken stand-in trope, but it's a misunderstanding. Both leads are emotionally and physically devoted to each other alone.

2022.9.18

Theme: Love and dreams can coexist.